first and foremost, i want to say thank you Allah for giving me such a wonderful life. to know You and Your love is enough for me to keep me breathe here.
last weekend had thought me everything about who am i, what i am supposed to do, how big is the effort needed to build in order for me to be the true muslim.
and somehow, Allah keeps giving me challenges to me until now. yup, i know what are these for. to make me strong and become a true muslim. despite all the patience, Allah makes me realised that i need to work hard on my patience. honestly, i'm not that kind-hearted. i can easily to get mad to people.
and, the thing is, i feel so challenged and soo hard especially when you started to love all your friends, and somehow, they try to make myself mad. i dont blame them because it's not their fault. it's me who are not patient with them. frankly, they didn't do anything but i'm the one who feel like that. i guess Allah really really wants to test my patience.
and now, i feel so sad cause i cant hold it. i tell this here. i cant hold it anymore. i cant hold in front of them but not here, in my blog. it's my healer. blog always made me reflect myself as a servant, a muslim.
i hope that later i can get through this! until now, 12.20 midnight, i haven't do anything. just ielts practice. but, what made me become like this, is my feeling.
i'm certain that Allah wanted to test me but O Allah, it's feel so painful. to made all this tsunami in my heart settle down is very very verry hard. as i always to my friends, Allah give us test because He wants to improve us. that circumstances made us stuck n life and when we can get over with it. then, we'll become immune and automatically, healed by that 'disease'.
Verily those who say "Our Lord is Allah" and remain firm (on that Path)― on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. 46:13
as a muslimah, i have to be strong. as long as i believe in Allah, i know and i'm sure that Allah will help me. come on, bella!!! you can do it! aja2 fighting...!