Sunday, 30 October 2011


B is having her favourite fried chicken while her family members prefer rice as their dinner. Actually, B wants to have rice too but she had to take the chicken to make sure that she can watch her favourite TV show, Law Kana Bainana at TV AlHijrah. She really needs to watch it as she feels her 'iman' is slowly weakens day by day. She thought that if she watch the show, she can have something that can somehow heal her 'heart'. She is really looking for the healer of her 'iman'.

B is focusing on her TV, did not bother at all about her family members downstairs, taking out the dishes to be put in the dining mengkuang mat. Yes, B is in the upstairs, eating fried chicken while watching the show while her family members hungrily preparing the mat. Very bad girl! But she thought she's not doing any mistake cause her intention is to heal her iman. She really needs to increase her iman!

Her father called her, repeatedly, to make her to go to the kitchen to help her family members with the dinner. She answers with her mouth, not with her mind. Her mind is too focus on the TV show which now showing about 'Al-Itsar' (self-less). 

"Oh man, I really need to watch this! My 'iman' needs to be healed!", sighed B as she making her way to join her family member to finish the preparation so that majority of the family can have dinner. She cut the papaya with her unsatisfied feeling. "Great! Now, I just missed a great chance to strengthen my iman..", said B inside her painful heart. Only Allah knows how sad she is.

But, only Allah knows what happen. Even B too, did not realize what happened. She didn't notice at all how irony things can get. How irony Allah can do things for her. She's so immersed in her feeling that she cannot relate her situation with the TV show. The relation between Al-Itsar (self-less) and her situation. If she knows, she wouldn't feel that depressed.. 


Saturday, 29 October 2011



Alhamdulillah for everything, Ya Allah!! ^_^

Alright, I just want to write something that I've done that I was so proud of. Maybe, if you read this, you will feel like, "Is that just it?? Duhh! -.-". But I don't care, I want it to...hehe.

So, it happened 2 days ago, when me, mariam and wani have a girls-day-out! Although it's tired, alhamdulillah it taught me of many things. Whenever we were talking in the car, there's a always a good thing that I learnt. Seriously, I don't lie. From management issues to car problem to family knowledge etc etc. It was a great day to spend with them. The day-out started from my former college in Banting, then went straight to Shah Alam (INTEC's hostel) and after that, we headed to Sunway.

Well, the most important thing to me here is, finally I have a full confidence to drive car anywhere (insyaAllah). To speak the truth, I was soo freaked-out when I knew that I have to drive to places that I've never been to. Fyi, I am a green person. So, I dont like to do things that I never ever prepared. Yup, since I was a kid until I am a grown-up,  my family taught me to do a slight preparation (at least) whenever I want to do something. In case if I want to go somewhere alone/or with friends, my dad will show me the routes and (sometimes) after that, he'll let me drive to make sure I'm really remember the routes. Sounds freaky rite? haha..but it's the truth.

The night before the day-out, I slept at 3 am just to google the maps. I did note every directions that Mr. Google said and also, draw the maps roughly. Seriously, I never have been this scarred because I cannot imagine at all the road trip. Even playing netball in final or answering IB exam can never be so much scarry. Maybe, because I cannot get the rough idea about what's going to happen.

And because of that, I really really depends on Allah. Immediately after I went out from the gate house I pray hardly to Allah. Every single du'a that came in my mind, I recited it loudly and I also restated and restated my intention. Yup, that what was happen while I'm all alone in my car. Over and over again.

Alhamdulillah, Allah is the best planner. The day went out smoothly (in my own definition where we were not involved in any accident, naudzubillah or the car broke down). If we were lost (that is the most frequent thing happened) , we stopped and asked people. One time, we had no clue how to go to Sunway from Shah Alam and we were really not sure either we were on the Federal Highway or else. So, we stopped at the petrol station and my co-driver, wani, asked the workers there but no one knew. Alhamdulillah, Allah gave His help through a Chinese uncle who willingly volunteered to take us to Sunway. We wrote the number plat but I've left it somewhere, so, sadly I cannot tell the number plat. Sorry. 

Big thanks to this Chinese uncle for helping. What can I say from here, do not hesistate to ask, and dont you ever doubt Allah's plan. InsyaAllah if we are really want to catch His blessings, then He will give it to us. It is just a matter of effort. (Allah doesnt need our effort, we are who really need the know what I'm saying?)

InsyaAllah, that's all to share. I want to record.

26/10/2011 --> Cheras - Banting - Shah Alam - Sunway - Cheras in 9 hours with a blurry directions!

Opps..forgot to mention. Big thanks to my parents for letting me to go out and lend me the car. Jazakallah n jazakillahu khair :) also to Mariam and Wani for making the day went out smoothly. and especially BIG BIG BIG ALHAMDULILLAH  to Allah ^_^

Okay, that's it. Thanks for reading!

Peace be upon you. ^_^

Tuesday, 25 October 2011


InsyaAllah, I just want to make a short post for one of my previous junior in KMB whom had passed away yesterday at 2.50 am because of brain tumour. I pray to Allah that his soul rests in peace and always be in the love of Allah..amin.


what can i say, a death, is indeed is a great reminder to me. dont know why, but the same feeling came. this strong feeling. reminiscing this

Ya Allah, ampunkanlah dosa-dosa umat Islam di seluruh dunia samada hidup mahupun yang telah pergi.

Monday, 24 October 2011



Sebelum itu, syukur sangat-sangat kepada Allah sebab sentiasa menolong hambaNya yang lemah ini. Memberi segala macam nikmat yang memang tak terhingga banyaknya dalam segala macam bentuk. 

Okay, kembali kepada topik hari ini.

Kalau anda adalah seorang yang mengenali aku dari kecil, anda akan tahu betapa pemarahnya aku ini. Tak tahulah mungkin penyakit keturunan atau pun pengaruh persekitaran..aku pun tak pasti. Bila ingat balik waktu kecik-kecik, memang banyak kenangan menjadi seorang yang pemarah ini (huhu).

Pernah sekali waktu darjah 6, aku tak tahan dengan kebisingan seorang hamba Allah yang berlainan jantina ini. Setelah ditegur beberapa kali dan kelihatannya hamba Allah ini memang jenis tak makan saman (hanya makan makanan halal), lalu, dengan bayaran percuma, aku telah memberi sebuah hadiah yang paling bermakna - satu tumbukan yang halus - cukup membuatkan bawah matanya lebam membiru. Terus senyap di situ sehingga beberapa hari tidak muncul di kelas. (Takut tak?)

Tapi, aku bukanlah seorang pembuli waktu kecik-kecik, cuma aku akan bertindak seperti itu bila ada orang yang tak faham bahasa Malaysia, dengan sukarela, mencari pasal dengan aku atau kawan-kawan aku sehingga perlu berinteraksi dalam bahasa 'lain'. 

Salah satu sebab aku boleh bertindak sebegitu rupa bukanlah kerana aku suka tapi kalau anda berada di tempat saya dan berhadapan dengan budak-budak yang normal tapi cacat perangainya, anda perlu mengambil tindakan sebegitu supaya tiada siapa yang akan berani membuli anda. Iya, itulah apa yang aku fikir waktu aku kecik-kecik dulu.

Teruk bukan sifat pemarah aku dari kecik. Aku memang tak berbangga langsung dengan sifat yang aku ada ini sebab sampai sekarang, 20 tahun hidup di dunia, aku tak pandai nak 'cater' kemarahan aku nih. 

Sekarang ini, hanya ada 2 makhluk berlainan jantina yang masih pandai membuatkan kemarahan aku meluap-luap. Oh, jangan risau bukanlah anda orangnya (jika anda perempuan) kerana kawan-kawan perempuan aku memang semuanya baik-baik belaka dan tak pernah membuatkan aku macam ini. 2 makhluk ini memang pandai bermain api dengan aku. Sampai satu tahap, aku rasa nak terkam makhluk-makhluk ini lalu mencincang mereka kepada 100 bahagian. (Dapat faham macamana kemarahan aku terhadap mereka, bukan?)

Tapi, sejak aku mula kenal Islam dengan hati, aku rasa sangat sedih dengan kelemahan aku ini. Lagi-lagi, bila teringatkan satu kisah yang aku angkat sebagai "KISAH PALING OSEM" pernah aku dengar (semasa di kolej aku dulu). Sewaktu peperangan (tak ingat perang apa), Saidina Umar sedang bertempur, berlawan pedang dengan seorang tentera kafir. Saidina Umar berjaya melemahkan lawannya dan ingin menumpaskan tentera kafir tersebut. Tatkala pedangnya berada di leher musuh itu, tentera kafir itu, meludah ke arah Saidina Umar. 

Kalaulah aku yang pemarah tahap dewa berada di tempat Saidina Umar, anda boleh agak macamana aku akan kerjakan tentera kafir itu bukan? Pasti akan aku cincang tentera kafir itu lebih teruk dari 2 makhluk di atas. Tapi, nama pun Saidina Umar, beliau memang seorang yang hebat iman dan taqwanya. Anda tahu apa yang dibuat oleh Saidina Umar terhadap tentera kafir itu? 


(Ohh, aku memang suka buat unsur saspen..hahaa)


Beliau lantas pergi dari tentera tersebut dan mengambil keputusan untuk tidak membunuhnya. Hahaha..pelik bukan? (angkat kening berirama)

Lantas, tentera kafir itu kehairanan lalu bertanya pada Saidina Umar kenapa beliau berbuat sesuatu perbuatan yang pelik bin ajaib ini. Kata Saidina Umar, 

"Jika aku membunuhmu sekarang, aku membunuhmu atas dasar marah. Bukan kerana Allah SWT"


Itulah kan, sampai hari ini, aku hanya mampu menahan marah dengan berdiam sahaja dan kalau 2 makhluk ini membuatkan aku marah, mesti aku tahan dan diam membawa diri tapi dalam hati sakiiittt sangat sampai akhirnya, aku pun menghamburkan kemarahan aku dengan menangis. Loser.

Serius, aku nak sangattttt jadi seperti golongan orang-orang yang bertaqwa seperti Allah kata;

".....dan orang-orang yang menelan kemarahannya dan memaafkan (kesalahan) orang lain. Dan Allah mencintai orang yang berbuat kebaikan" (3:134)

(kalau anda tengok lecture ustaz nouman ali khan tentang "The People of Taqwa", memang best dia eloberate ayat2 ini..memang kena tengokkkk!!)

Ye. Menelan kemarahan dan memaafkan kesalahan orang lain secara percuma. Itu yang saya mahukannn!

Ada satu hari tu, aku ada tengok cerita kegemaranku di TV AlHijrah dan ustaz berbahasa arab tu bercerita tentang sebuah hadis ; 

Seorang sahabat Nabi saw telah memaki syaitan apabila binatang tunggangannya terjatuh.
 Nabi saw bersabda:

“Janganlah kamu berkata, 'Celaka syaitan.' Kalau kamu berkata begitu syaitan akan berasa besar diri seperti rumah dan berkata 'mendapat kekuatanku.', tapi hendaklah kamu berkata 'Bismillah [Dengan nama Allah]'. Apabila berkata sedemikian syaitan akan jadi hina sehingga seperti lalat.”
[Hadis Abu Daud]

Tepat sekali! Kemarahan kita hanyalah membuatkan syaitan bertambah gumbira dan naudzubillah, aku sedaya-upaya tak nak membuatkan 'musuh yang nyata' ni gembira dengan apa cara sekalipun. HIYAKKK!!

InsyaAllah, kita cuba bersama-sama untuk menelan kemarahan dan memaafkan kesalahan orang dengan percuma. Mujahadah melawan nafsu amarah!!! INSYAALLAH~~

Seperti kata salah seorang watak dalam cerita-2-jam kegemaran aku;

"Patience doesn't mean to bow, but to struggle" 
[script from : 'Valley of the Wolves : Iraq']


--> V(^___^)V

p/s: pertama kali aku menulis begini panjang..cipta rekod owhh!!
p/s.1 : sumber yang digunakan : sumber 1 ; sumber 2
p/s.2 : aku mengaku, penulisan aku memang senang terpengaruh. huuu~

Thursday, 20 October 2011



First of all, I would like to express my gratitude to Allah for everything He will do/does/did. 


Now, I just want to share a story and it happened when I was in the first year in my college. At that time, we're in the prayer room and one of my seniors told me and others about her experience in that morning. She had an interview with a person from The University of Manchester, if I'm not mistaken and that person is an English man. I was so excited to know about her story especially at that time, I just entered my college and I was one of the people who really bad in speaking English, especially with English-native-speakers! In my first year, English class was one of the reasons I stress so much because I cannot speak fluently like others.

Deep in my heart, I asked myself, "How can she do it? I mean, if I'm in her shoes, I don't think it will going to be smooth.." So, the senior told us, yup, she did feel nervous and scarred at first but it is her father who gave her a very good advice that made she felt soo confident that day. Before the interview started, she called her father first and asked him to pray for her. The words that her father told her are sooo meaningful that I remember clearly until now. Her father said to her that do not feel nervous or scarred because the interviewer is just a human and Allah who holds his heart. If Allah wants to make the interviewer happy, he will be happy and if Allah want to make him dislike what you've said, then he will feel so. So, just pray to Allah, insyaAllah everything will be fine.

I really love the advice!! 

What happened yesterday really made me think about this story. Yup, Allah holds everyone's heart!! If you ask someone anything, just pray to Allah, insyaAllah Allah helps you through that person. :D 


peace be upon you!! ^_^

Wednesday, 19 October 2011


To my Master,

Help me..
Help me to unchain all these steels that trapped me.
I'm stuck here, helplessly.
Not knowing what to do.
I tried to be fair to everyone,
but I didn't know that it is eating me up inside.
I want to go...
but I can't.
I want to answer my Call,
but they stopped me.
Like a fire, being stuck in a sand trap.

I was hoping "the goods" to understand me,
but it shows no sign of it.
O my Master,
I know, they are not the guilty ones,
cause everyone has different eyes.
I just put on my radiant mask,
behind this steel bars,
praying deeply, you, my Master

Yours truly,
Your fragile slave.

Monday, 17 October 2011

o.u.c.h & r.a.n.d.o.m

"We are such multi-faceted people with unique talents and skills that, theoretically, we should be able to connect with a large, diverse population of people. But instead of making the first move, we sit and wait for “the other” to come to us. And when they don’t, we hide behind this fact and blame them for their lack of willingness to learn about our religion. " - source


"Gagahkanlah minda dan jiwa untuk terbang bebas laksana burung walau jasad terpenjara di rumah batu." - Anisa 


Allah doesn't need us anyways but we need Allah. Islam itu pasti tertegak. Sesungguhnya tiada yang lagi tinggi dari Islam. Tertegaknya islam itu bukanlah bergantung pada sejauh mana sumbangan kita. Kalau kita tak contribute pun, fine takpe. Allah akan gantikan kita dengan orang lain yang lebih baik. Dan islam itu pasti jua akan tertegak. So where do we stand? Let's reflect and insyaAllah let us imporve towards the betterment ♥ - Liyana Athirah


Tapi malangnya, jiwa dan perasaan kita tidak bersedia untuk menghadapi cabaran dan mehnah yang datang dalam satu pakej dengan jalan dakwah ini. Ramai antara kita yang mudah berasa tertekan, bawah, sedih dan susah hati apabila masalah-masalah yang 'common' dalam jalan dakwah ini, seperti masalah ukhuwwah, masalah menyusun gerak kerja, masalah gagal menDF hadek-hadek dan sebagainya, terkena pada batang hidung kita. Akibatnya? Jadilah kita lembab dan lemau di atas jalan ini, kerana selalu kechiwa dan berasa terabai. Tidak kurang juga yang lari terus dari jalan ini, semata-mata merasakan diri mereka tidak diberikan perhatian yang sewajarnya. Ala-ala kurang kasih-sayang gitu. 

Kita tidak enjoy dan tidak ada passion dalam melaksanakan tugas yang paling mulia ini. Aduhai.


konklusinya : 

Aku tak nak jadi lemah dan lemau!! Aku nak jadi seorg yg passionate dgn apa yg aku mahu lakukan. Hoyeahhh~~!

Friday, 14 October 2011


It's been such a roller coaster week..very emotional week, i can say. I dont know, maybe because of my unbalanced hormones and things happened in this week. yahh, i guess every places has its own obstacles right.? even me, who is just sitting in house for months had my own obstacles.

what happened needs me to be husnuszhon (positive-thinking)
what happened needs me to be patience
what happened needs me to be fair
what happened needs me to be struggle

Everything that Allah made for us is really special, you know. It makes us to stop for a while and think back again what is the purpose I am here. 

What happened really makes me missed Dhuha time in my college. Although the surau is full with many students, I always have my own space, being alone with Him, talking to Him, just me and The Creator. Yup, I really really miss that. (especially in this ABC period) 

I can feel peace at that time. I feel that I've been heard by Him. It's like a conversation happens but with one side only. What a dating!! 

I guess that is what makes every believers (Mu'minin) keep going in this road. To the next final destination. Meeting Him in real. (take a deep breathhhh...)

One more thing, it such a long time I've been separated from nature. Nature that always kept me thinking about Him. Wind. Air. Trees. Sky. Leaves. Grass. Hope to be alone with them. Just like in the old days, walking alone to the class, seeing all those Allah's creation is just enough to make me reflect and smile.

Here, I trapped in the house with no space close to the nature. They don't allowed me to go outside alone. I understand why they said so. Never mind. It's just about the time. InsyaAllah I'll be getting all that back when I start my university life..aminn.

O Allah, please let me drown in your Words especially the description of Your Jannah. I really want to be there with Your blessings.!

It's okay to be hard here in the World, friends. InsyaAllah, in the Hereafter, all of us will happily ever after there. 

Peace be upon You, readers ^_^


Monday, 3 October 2011



That's why I think about myself today. arghh! I'm such a weak person. I feel like crying now but no, I will not! This problem is torturing me like hell and yah, I know there's something that Allah wants to teach me behind this matter. It already reaches 3 weeks now and it has not been solved yet!! Such a perfect problem sounds to me!

O Allah, I have been patient for 3 weeks and I will always be patient for whatever You gave to me. I'm not complaining what You gave me but I cannot control this feeling. 3 weeks is such a lonngg time! Dear Bella, please hold yourself a little bit stronger. Yes, I will!!

I dont know. Astghfirullahal 'Azimmm...

Maybe there's something wrong with me! Even, being alone in this house without any external disturbance but still I cannot take care of my iman with a good care. Allah always has His own plan to make us better days by days. I believe in that!! 

Bella, keep waiting and keep being patient with the problem.

Only Allah who can solve the matter. No one else can. and I pray hard to Allah..please ya Allah!! Help me solve this problem! Sometimes, I just cant make myself comfortable with what happened. T_T 

How I wish I can be a strong person like the Prophet S.A.W!!! >_<

"Apabila hidupmu tidak ceria di pagi hari… Mungkin kerana dosa, jadi bertaubatlah. 
Mungkin kerana kurang memberi… jadilah berilah salam dan senyuman. 
Mungkin kerana marah.. jadi berilah kemaafan. Mungkin kerana lalai… Berzikirlah. 
Mungkin kerana takut, bimbang… Berdoa dan berzikirlah. Carilah teman dalam hidup, sebaik2 teman adalah Al Quran." 
[ Pahrol Mohd Juoi ]