Saturday, 13 May 2017

Kegagalan.Tarbiyah.



Memang lumrahnya pada mulanya kita memasuki alam pentarbiyahan semuanya seperti syurga! Yelah, mana taknya kan, murabbi selalu ada dengan kita, tolong kita bila kita susah, masakkan untuk kita, main sport dgn kita, nasihati kita, teman seusrah pun satu kepala. Macam syurgalah kiranya! Hee. 

Tapikan menariknya dalam buku “Sudahkah Kita Tarbiyah” oleh Eko Novianto ini, penulis suruh kita muhasabah, check balik, adakah kita ini mengalami kegagalan dalam tarbiyah? Mungkin saja kita rasa kita dalam tarbiyah, tapi anggapan kita itu benar? 

Jadi, mari mulakan muhasabah kita, yosh!!

#1 Kita sebenarnya gagal dalam tarbiyah, bila kita pandang TARBIYAH SEBAGAI ‘TRANSFER MATERIAL’ SEMATA!

Bila mana kita rasa dah dapat pengisian itu sebagai tanda kita sudah ditarbiyah, no no no. Cuba kita check balik. Adakah betul-betul kita faham pengisian tersebut? Dan yang paling penting, adakah sudah kita amalkannya??? These are the things that we need to focus on! Selalukan bila kita pergi program atau usrah, tengok-tengok apa yang muwajih atau murabbi ini bagi bahan yang kita dah pernah dapat, terus kita macam “haihhh, dah dapat dah bahan ni. Takde bahan lain ke?” Kita terus shut down. Tak boleh macam ini. Mungkin saja bila kita dapat bahan kali kedua, ketiga, keempat malah ada yang sudah mendengar pengisian yang sama untuk kali ke-sepuluh pun, mesti ada benda baru yang dia belajar! (Bila dah dapat 10 kali tapi takleh jadi muwajih lagi untuk bahan tu, memang nak kena ni..hahaha). Apatah lagi, muhasabah untuk diri ini, suka bila Nouman Ali Khan kata dalam videonya, ayat-ayat AlQuran yang kita selalu ulang itu tak pernah kita akan bosan. Bila mana kita jumpa ayat itu balik, mesti ada benda baru yang kita belajar. *headshot* 

#2 Kita sebenarnya gagal dalam tarbiyah, bila kita rasa MURABBI ADALAH SEGALANYA BAGI MAD’U!

Menanggap murabbilah yang paling hebat dan kita takleh jadi hebat lagi daripada murabbi kita adalah salah satu kesalahfahaman besar dalam tarbiyah. Yang diperlukan oleh seorang murabbi sebenarnya adalah tsiqah (kepercayaan) daripada sang mad'u bukannya kehebatan. Malah seorang murabbi yang hebat bila dia menginginkan anak usrah menjadi lebih supersaiya dari dia! Kita ini bukan macam dalam cerita belajar ilmu ‘martial arts’, belajar dengan tok guru sampai satu tahap tok guru takkan ajar dah sebab dia mesti ada satu ilmu yang dia kena rahsiakan supaya lagi lemah dari dia. (Saya pun tak tahu sebenarnya realiti ke tak benda ni atau sekadar cerita sahaja..hurm). Pemahaman sebegini hanyalah membantutkan lagi potensi mutarabbi mejadi supersaiya, percayalah!



#3 Kita sebenarnya gagal dalam tarbiyah, bila kita rasa TARBIYAH HANYALAH PROSES INDOKTRINASI DAN DOMINASI

"Kita brainwash saja adik-adik ni!!”

Whooaa whoaa murabbi mana yang cakap macam ni? Mungkin saya. Hahaha. Takdelah bai. 

Berbalik kepada fakta nombor tiga ini, tarbiyah bukanlah sekadar nak mem-brainwash-kan manusia. Kita mendidik mutarabbi/manusia sehingga mereka dapat rasa dan alami sendiri betapa nikmatnya hidup di bawah cinta Allah dan bayangan alquran. Erti hidup menjadi hamba. Segala keserabutan, kebosanan, kepayahan hidup hanyalah boleh diselesaikan bila mana kita betul-betul rasa kebersamaan Allah dalam hidup kita sama seperti lejen-lejen hebat seperti para anbiya’, para sahabat, tabi’in dan syuhada' dalam sejarah hidup manusia ini. Tarbiyah lebih dari itu!

#4 Kita sebenarnya gagal dalam tarbiyah, bila kita ingat TARBIYAH ITU HANYALAH DALAM SATU BENTUK YANG FORMAL SAHAJA!

Tarbiyah itu fun! Fun dalam bahasa inggeris dan fan dalam bahasa arab. (Bahasa melayu ada perkataan 'fan' ke? Takde kan..hehe) Fun dalam bahasa inggeris bermaksud seronok dan fan dalam bahasa arab bermaksud seni. Tarbiyah itu bukan sekadar duduk dalam bulatan dengar kakak/abang usrah cakap dan membebel tapi usrah itu konteks lebih luas! Usrah itu ada sisi bahannya yang menyentuh jiwa dan membersihkan 'kaca mata’ kita. Usrah itu ada sisi ukhuwah dan kebersamaan keluarganya. Usrah itu ada sisi takaful dan saling membantu. Usrah itu ada sisi main-main seronok jalan-jalan. Usrah itu ada sisi disiplin patuh arahan dan tepati masa dan banyak lagi! Usrah itu seghonokkk beronok-ronok! hahaha. Itu baru usrah, belum wasilah tarbiyah lain lagi. haaaa :)

#5 Kita sebenarnya gagal dalam tarbiyah, bila ADANYA PEMBINAAN 'KLON MURABBI’! 

Kita tahu dan faham betapa umat Islam ini sangat memerlukan rijal-rijal yang mantop lagi hebat. Sama seperti pada zaman Rasulullah, rijal-rijal yang Rasulullah berjaya didik terdiri daripada pelbagai individu dengan kekuatan tersendiri. Khalid bin Walid dengan logam perangnya, Abu Hurairah dengan logam ingatannya, Umar Al-Khattab dengan logam kepimpinannya, Abu Bakar dengan logam kefahamannya. Jadi, kalau pembinaan mutarabbi hanyalah sekadar nak copy paste apa yang murabbi lalui, hurmm tepuk dada tanya iman. Rasanya itu bukanlah caranya. Setiap orang itu Allah jadikan penuh dengan potensi yang bermacam-macam untuk membina umat Islam jadi kenapa mahu ‘cloning’ bhaa? 

Alright sudah habis celotehan saya dengan muhasabah kegagalan tarbiyah ini. Mungkin apa yang saya tulis ini, sekadar skop yang kecil. Maka untuk ada yang sudah faham besar boleh fahamkan dengan skop yang lebih besar. Moga bermanfaat untuk anda! 


Jazakumullahu khayr :) 

Monday, 8 May 2017

Ramadhan.Mission.1439H

Ahlan ya Ramadhan :) 


Assalamualaikum and hello there! 

Another day to live means another blessing and another chance to get Allah's redha :) Alhamdulillah for everything and now I just wanna write something that I plan to and hopefully I can get this mission accomplished. *fingercrossed* 

Btw, I just wanna inform you guys that Alhamdulillah last Thursday I got an email saying that I was selected for a job position and I was soooo happy about it. It was like 2 or 3 days after I wrote my previous post about my status at that time. 

Alhamdulillah Allah always do this to me and to everyone right, testing you to see how would you react in this state. Are we going to return back to Him, asking Him for His help or we just going to opt for other way to solve it. To me, Allah only wants us to acknowledge Him that He is the Master, He is the Solver and we're just plain servant. Fullstop. Acknowledging that you're the servant and you surrender to it is the goal for this trial cause in everything that we do in this life has to be aligned with our purpose of life which is to be His servant, His 'abd. I mean, that's how it works in life, right?  

When I got the offer I was so confused. Do I proceed with it or not? Or do I go find another job? Thoughts just like dispersing all the way from every single angle of my brain. I was bewildered that I went back to Him asking for His guidance. I pray for Him to show me the right decision. 

And Alhamdulillah things just unfolded easily one by one. I received the offer and I am going to start this Thursday and if things going out well, I'll be doing Masters degree for this project insyaAllah. I will spend 2 years for this job and eventually I can see my timeline of my 2 years life ahead. 

There was this time I was whatsapp-ing with one of my akhawat, a much older and wiser than me with lots of experience in her life. I wish I can be brave and strong like her. I was telling her that of all these good things happened, I feel like I am not qualified for this. Like this is too much for me. Allah gave me so much to me but I dont think I did so much for the sake of Him. Rasa tak layak sangat. Huuu. We went muhasabah and agreed with it. 

So, guys and girls, Ramadhan is coming in about like 18 days. A good question to ask to ourselves is "Have we prepare anything about it?". If it's a yes, whoaa you're the best! If not, don't worry this is the perfect time to do it. Have a mission for your Ramadhan. It's a great opportunity to improve ourselves for the better and insyaAllah with the barakah of the month itself, it will be a blast!

#1 Have a mission

First thing first, have your mission! Put an aim whatever that you wanna achieve this Ramadhan. Me myself, I pick the hardest thing that I struggle with that I take this opportunity to push myself to get it done. Hafazan it is :) I aim to memorise 5 surahs (juz 29) from today till end of Ramadhan (hopefully!!!!)

#2 Plan out your mission

Take a tiny moment to think about it and plan it. Dont take too much time about and always make it into a realistic one! Please no ideal things in here cause we dont wanna feel bad about ourselves doing Ramadhan, pressuring ourselves thinking about the mission and regret about it. Ramadhan supposed to be a really good time to spent, having a really good positive vibe to improve ourselves. 

If you have the same mission as mine for Ramadhan, do check out the link : Memorise Juz 29 :)

#3 One word: Execute it!

This is like the real struggle, real pain, real deal of the mission to actually do it, make things work! This is the part that I always failed and I just hope things going well for my Ramadhan mission this year. There are a lot of unexpected things coming cause I have a new job and I'm gonna spend my life (after so many years in NZ) in Malaysia with my family. You know, you have so many commitments coming in just seconds of life. Talking about adulthood. How I hate it! huhuu

--

I guess that's about it. Pray the best for me that I can go through these challenges of my life in 2 years ahead. The most important thing that I pray in my life is I learn and capture as many gems of life as I can. To feel what Rasulullah, the prophets and sahabahs felt during their whole life of mission. To experience awesome things as a servant and daie of Him. 

Till then, Assalamualaikum and peace out!

Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Current.Status.

Assalamualaikum wbt

I believe no one reads my blog anymore. Well, I take that as positive thing cause I can spill whatever I feel right now at this moment of my life. 

It's already 2 months since I came back home in Malaysia, trying to find a job and build a stable single life. Alhamdulillah in terms of dnt, I got a chance to join an usrah group in Shah Alam and I'm thinking to settle there maybe just for a while before I got into my second phase of life. 

This jobseeking phase is really depressing. I dont know why but one of my usrahmates got job really easy. She was doing intern last 3 months and then she got the other job in the different part of Malaysia and right now she's working. I feel like wow thing was just so easy for her. 

Now, my plan is to find a job as Research Assistant in Shah Alam area to pursue Masters degree then maybe end up as a Research Officer or a Lecturer. I am totally happy if I can get a chance to involve in any research in Microbiology especially if it has something to do with the environment. I tried emailing UITM lecturers in this area of interest but no reply. One lecturer from Monash. Multiple applications for RA in UM. But still none. 

On the other hand, I have already applied 15+ positions in Jobstreet but it doesn't come out good. I still got no response. Last week, I got an interview alhamdulillah as a RA in UM but not in my area of interest. I just went to the interview to brush up my interview skills. The interview was good. I managed to answer all the questions but I can see their biggest concern is I have interest in something which is not related to the project. It got me thinking that maybe I should focus on finding RA position in my area of interest. But then again, the conflict would be in order for me to be in Shah Alam, there are only 3 universities that I can work with. I tried to find other researches in microbiology but most of them are in Gombak, KL, Serdang which is I dont think so. My priority is my dnt. The first thing that I need to prioritise is my iman. I need to be stable first in my iman aspect. Sometimes I had a conflict with it. You know, why don't you just go ask the other places and prioritise your passion but I need to be stick and stones, only in Shah Alam area or PJ. That's it. I am more passionate in my dnt. Yes!

I can say I am depressed right now. Whenever I open the job-seeking webpages, I can feel this emotion comes and engulf the whole me. There are times I randomly cried when I think about it. I guess maybe in one day, I cried like 2-3 times. It is always happen when I am alone. It was so frustrating to think that I haven't managed to get myself a job and go get a stable life in my preferred area. Just to think about it alone, it's just killing me inside. 

To add the negatives more is when the time I need the support the most, no one is there for me. I have this one friend of mine that I always go to whenever I feel depressed. But now, she's maybe busy and she is far away from me that she cannot really see my struggle. I always give her nice words and support just to make myself stronger. It would be a lie if I say I'm not waiting for her response back to give me some support and care but yeah, she doesn't do that as often than I am. I guess maybe Allah makes things like this just to make me more depend on Him and learn to grow stronger not by receiving the support but by giving them. 

To be honest, it is hard to learn this thing cause at the time you face difficulties you somehow need love, care and support the most. What happened to me was the depressive times happen everyday that I need something to support myself everyday. Whenever I don't get it, it feels so painful and stress that what you want is not happening to you. It makes me feel like I'm such a loser, not getting anything that I aim for. 

*breathing slowly*

I need to empower myself cause the person I hope on the most don't really feel sensitive of what I need. (Don't take it wrong, my best friend is really nice. It's not her fault. It's just me that constantly need support that she cannot afford to due to her business) I need to be more positive and more optimistic of what happened. Maybe the fact that I am alone with myself and engaging with this problem everyday got me into this depressed state. 

I was hoping if my friend can understand what I feel right now and give me some supports, that would be nice. But, it's not happening now and you cannot force people right. They do when they feel like they wanna do it. I already did on my behalf. It's up to the other side. 

I just need to always remind myself whatever happen, there is always Allah with me. He is always there for me despite people that I hoped for don't really do. Or maybe I don't really realise it due to my condition now. I know people who loved me always pray the best for me. And I wanna keep on being positive of me despite of how hard the struggle is to be positive. It's really easy to drop yourself in that depressing pitch black state but I don't want myself in it so I struggle to keep myself back on my feet without any physical care, love and support. 

If you happen to read this, please do not post any negative comments cause you're not helping when you do that. Please show some love and support if you want to. If you happen to be a Muslim when you read this, say Alhamdulillah for your life right now. Please pray for me. 

Thanks. Jazakumullahu khayr.