This section is just a place for me to write something that I called as Heartspeaker; it's just a place to share what I feel.  I hope that at least, it helps you somewhere somehow. Insha-Allah ^_^

Before you read, please take note this :


"The Purpose of Life" by Silentdreamer

Have I wonder..
why am I here?
Have I wonder..
why does I have to live in this stupid cycle?
The cycle of life.
To do the same routine everyday, non-stop.
Why do I have to be in that cycle?
Do I need to be in it?
Is the purpose of I was born in this world is to be in this cycle?
What is the purpose of my existence here?
I never thought about it...

"The Seeker" by Silentdreamer

I was walking down the road,
in silence. 
Thousands of waves circle in my mind.
Never thought that, before this,
I live in hallucination.
Hallucination that brings me the false joy.
Disgust happiness is what I called.
Men-made happiness,
is what they said.
O Dear,
Bring me to the true happiness!
Who knows what I meant by the true happiness?
Only the One who knows perfectly about me have the answer.
I believe in that.

"A Letter To My Master" by Silentdreamer

To my Master,

Help me..
Help me to unchain all these steels that trapped me.
I'm stuck here, helplessly.
Not knowing what to do.
I tried to be fair to everyone,
but I didn't know that it is eating me up inside.
I want to go...
but I can't.
I want to answer my Call,
but they stopped me.
Like a fire, being stuck in a sand trap.

I was hoping "the goods" to understand me,
but it shows no sign of it.
O my Master,
I know, they are not the guilty ones,
cause everyone has different eyes.
I just put on my radiant mask,
behind this steel bars,
praying deeply, you, my Master

Yours truly,
Your fragile slave.

"The Sisterhood Promise" by Silentdreamer

Last night..
was a very painful night
for me,
seeing you cry like that.

My plan was to build
this ego wall,
just to make me feel
and to look tougher
inside out.
So that you'll never find despair

Yes, it was my plan.
But when you cry,
your tears that gushes out the sorrow
your grievance that flashes out the woe,
just to break the wall.

I couldn't bare to hold the base of the wall.
Your crystal tears that loads my eyes
with this clear liquid.
Your words that shack my voice
we were weeping together
last night.

O dear,
Please don't look at me last night,
as I was failed to give you
the courage.
I was such a weak.

But I swear..
after this, no more shed in front of you.
I need to reform this wall again.
So that I am stronger
inside out

to flush away your sadness.

"In The Middle of Know-Where" by Silentdreamer

I have this goal that I desire for
I have the examples that I vow to become
I have the need to be what I want
Yes, I have it!

I have the pressures that turn me down
I have the wall that blocks my strength
I have the people who blindly hurts
Yes, I have all these!

I see the goal,
I try to touch it,
I try to reach it,
to feel the essence of love,
the true-est love.

Deep inside,
I hunger for it,
I'm dying for it.
Only You who understands the anticipation.

Please help me,
give me the strength,
to make me soar,
only to be what I'm longing for.

"The Great Coolies" by Silentdreamer

Is that what I feel?
Is that what I thought?

This is all just a starting point.
A point where reality begins.
A point that starts all the hardships, trials and tribulations.
Looking back the timeline of this fragile place,
they already had their own.
Each one of them faced it.
Each one of them had their own story of it.
Now, it's about my turn...

We think that we're safe,
but we're not!
Cause at this point,
there's a huge load that we need to work on.
We're now the coolies,
the great coolies!

You, I, We,
who realized this reality,
has this essential need,
to break all the sweats we have,
to gather all the strength we have,
for we are the great coolies,
who spread the divine love messages to the whole world.


"The Traveller's Dream" by Silentdreamer


this is my dream
this is what i want to be

one day,
I realized how beautiful it is to be one of Your slave!
I clearly see what a magnificent life when I get to know deeply of who You are
that sense of belonging flushed away all the 'solitary' air
I begin to breathe with a new fresh air
and until now, Alhamdulillah, I still breathe in that 'slavery' air.

whenever I walk pass any houses,
sometimes the air got so thin that I couldn't bare to breathe
sometimes the air got so fresher that I wish to spend there forever

Seeing the house that is full of hatred, misunderstanding and false attachment
really breaks my heart into many pieces.
I cried and at the same time, talked to myself,
"There are so many things that I have to do! I have to keep pushing myself, I really need to work hard as the air of 'slavery' is getting thinner. Oh, how I wish that they could feel the bless of breathing the 'slavery' air!"

Whenever I came across the house that are full of the determined yet humble fighters
I will close my eyes, deeply breathing the essence of their fresher 'slavery' air
Deep inside, I vow to myself that one day, I want to become one of them.
They are the ones who are not afraid of anything except Allah
They are the ones who will do whatever it needs to please Allah
They are the ones who do not give up easily in the road of Allah
These are the people that Allah loves eternally

The warriors that will fight with their heart loudly say;

this is my dream
this is what i want to be.

"The Strength of The Memories" by Silentdreamer.

The clock's ticking like a brave patriot,
loyally moves without any fear of what it faces through,
and I,
here I am,
lost in a place that I made myself for.

This new journey prepares me with so many waves to encounter,
so many gems that I should pick,
but yet,
I am lost in that state of the battle,
thinking of all of you, my dear sisters.

Remember this one day,
when everyone had our own bricks to break,
surely, we broke the bricks together.
I still remember clearly,
that days of us,
our days of struggling with many challenges,
we have everyone that multiplies our multiplied courage,
we even get stronger days by days.

And now,
I'm alone here,
in this solitary space,
fighting with my emotions to lift my own soul
and wasting a moment,
thinking of all of you to enrich the memories of us.

For this moment and later,
I believe,
deep inside in everyone of us,
having the same song of feeling that plays from time to time,
but never mind,
Allah is the best planner, right?

Oh my dear sisters,
shall we
strive together with our 'borrowed' souls for the sake of Allah..?

"Silver Lining" by Silentdreamer.

Whenever the sun is reaching for the sky,
there will always be a time for it to fall down
Whenever the daylight is speeding to dusk,
there will always appears the night, slowly continues the row.

Remember, challenges come and go.
In every dark blindly road,
it always has its edge of light.
Like what the people define the metamorphosis,
the silent small seed will eventually turns to a stunning blossom.

My dear me,
If huge waves gush you out hardly,
If angry storms suffocate you wildly,
Or even if the harmony tunes radiates your smile happily,
and that fresh air you breathe can never be so calmly before.
Remember, whatever you feel,
is always changing,
from time to time.
It is outside your monitor box.
In fact, it is controlled by the Most Merciful God.

So, do not waste your time to restrain your feeling
He knows the best of what you have to feel.
Do not bother too much with what comes and goes,
cause it is just a sign that He always loves you more.

Thank you Allah for everything.
Alhamdulillah! All praises to Allah.. :)

"Why have you?" by Silentdreamer

Stop burden your mind & soul, worrying about everything.
Just your pick pen up and start plan.
Yup, you have to try to be the most productive that you can be,
for the sake of Allah.

Do not be grieve for the small deed that you did,
as you look into someone's bigger deed.
Do not look into others' room when you have your own room to improve.

Why did you must to get sad when you saw their victory
cause your journey is just about to start.
In the first place, why did you have to look into people?
For you have the Most Generous, the Most Merciful that always there for you.

Why, dear?
Shall we just by ourselves, to look into Him
so that we can find the best answer to know ourselves.

One who has Allah, has everything.. (quoted)

"Solitary space" by Silentdreamer

I just need a space, a time,
where everybody is not there
leaving me alone with You
for I'm just a weak slave of You.

O Allah, 
am I that strong?
can I do it?
I just want to have a humble conversation with You
so that I can cry on You

O heart, 
be strong, okay?!
Allah is saying something to you
but you didn't grab it cause of your own weakness.

Pray and always pray, 
that I can have that solitary space with You.

Forgive me Allah for all the sins that I did.

"Aku mahu pulang ke rumahku, syurga! >_<"

"Hari Itu Pasti Datang" oleh sangpemimpidalamsepi

suka atau tidak
hari itu pasti datang

redha atau tidak
itu adalah kenyataannya

manusia itu datang dan pergi
itulah sunnatullahnya

risau. takut. tak pasti. cuak. sedih.
semua ada. berpusing ligat dalam kepala.
fikir, fikir, dan fikir kembali.
bagaimana masa depan tempat ini nanti?!

pabila mereka tiada lagi
pulang untuk berkhidmat di tanah air
meninggalkan kami yg kurang berpengalaman ini
dengan amanah yang berat untuk digalasi

apa mungkin akan jadi penapisan di satu hari nanti?
apa mungkin matahari tidak lagi menyinar di bumi Auckland ini?
itu semua terletak pada kami yang mewarisi

kata seorang kakakku ini
bukan kita yang menjaganya,
bukan kita yang menjayakannya,
bukanlah kita yang menaikkannya
bukanlah juga kita yang menurunkannya

semuanya atas perhitunganNya
Allah itu yang menjaga dakwahNya
Allah itu yang menjaga IslamNya
Allah itu yang membenarkannya

apa yang kau khuatirkan, wahai hati?
apa yang kau gusarkan?

Aku tahu,
Biar aku yang memberi tahu..

Hatimu itu cuma satu
Kerna hati ini penat menanggung rindu
Hati ini pedih melihat dari jauh
Tiada lagi mereka yang datang memujuk
Tiada lagi mereka yang datang memeluk

Pasti akan datang saat sakit itu
Bila mana mereka harus pergi
meninggalkan kami sendiri
bersama Allah berada di sisi.

"KITA?" oleh sangpemimpidalamsepi

Musuh itu takkan lenyap sampai bila-bila,
Al-Haq itu pasti ada penentangnya,
Islam itu pasti ada musuhnya.
Dan sejelas-jelas musuh kita adalah syaitonirrajim

Aku tidak risau tentang mereka musuh-musuh Allah ini
kerana aku yakin dan sangat percaya bahawa
di satu hari nanti
di hari yang bersejarah itu
mereka semua akan mendapat balasan setimpalnya.

Pada hari itu,
mereka takkan dapat lari ke mana-mana.
Mereka akan diseksa di dalam api neraka.
Di saat Allah mengatakan kepada mereka,
"NAH! Rasakanlah azab seksaan-Ku yang pedih ini!"

Pada hari itu,
keadilan akan tertegak,
hukuman azab dijalankan.
Hati yang mana tidak lega saat melihat keadilan itu terlaksana..
Hati yang mana tidak lega bila melihat musuh-musuh Allah dan Rasulullah diseksa
atas apa yang selama ini mereka lakukan di dunia ini sewenang-wenangnya.
Hati mana..!

Hati ini,
di saat ini,
sakit, pedih, pilu
melihat mereka sesuka hati mencaci, memaki, memperkotak-katikkan Allah dan Rasul.
Hati ini meronta-ronta berdoa,
"Ya Allah, Kau berikanlah azab seksaan yang maha dahsyat kepada mereka!"
Tatkala tidak dapat aku hamburkan kemarahanku ini melalui lisanku,
hanya memendam amarahku jauh-jauh dalam sanubari..
sungguh aku pedih menahan amarah ini!

apa yang aku lebih risaukan,
apa yang aku lebih khuatirkan,
bukanlah mereka musuh-musuh Allah itu..
tetapi aku, kau dan kita,
umat Muhammad,
para hamba Allah sekalian.
Aku lebih risaukan kita,
mereka yang menglafazkan syahadatain itu.
Ya, aku lebih risaukan kita.

Sejauh mana usaha kita untuk membuktikan Islam itu indah?
Sejauh mana usaha kita untuk menunjukkan bahawa Islam itu Al-Haq?
Sejauh mana kita bangga bahawa Islam itu agama kita?
Cukup, aku yakin kamu faham maksudku ini.

Wahai hati-hati yang bertuhankan Allah,
renung kembali diri kita..
tatkala membaca ayat-ayat cintaNya, adakah waktunya hati kita tersentuh?
tatkala berjalan di bumiNya, adakah waktunya hati kita teringat kepadaNya?
tatkala melihat manusia, adakah terpalit di hati kita rasa sedih mengenangkan nasib manusia yang lari jauh dari Islam ini?
Masa yang diberikan oleh Allah kepada kita, bagaimana kita mengisinya?

Musuh-musuh Allah itu kesudahannya
sudah ditulis azab neraka..
Para rasul dan para mu'minin terdahulu itu kesudahannya
sudah pasti kenikmatan syurga..
Kita, yang bernyawa di dunia ini?
Apa kesudahan kita?

Bangunlah! Sedarlah! Bahawa duniawi yang kita sanjungi ini tidak punya apa-apa di akhirat kelak!

[All of the heartspeaker are fully owned by me a.k.a Silentdreamer. If you want to share or copy and paste etc., please ask for my permission or if you lazy/shy enough, you have to put the source link back to this blog as a sign of my properties. Thank you and peace be upon you. ^_^]