Friday, 3 September 2010 your.time.

i feel lost...
and i dont think that i still stand up straigh like what i've supposed to be..
to look strong
is not something worthy
to make them feel happy
is actually giving you a slight pain
i mean
it's a slight if you compared with your blessing
and to normal human being
it is NOT slight
no little at all
it seems to feel hurt

to pretend is not easy
but i'm learning
because if it's the only way that it should be
i say as long as everyone happy
i'm just okay with that
i dont mind if someone says
i'm weird
i'm clueless
"out of the way"
as long as it didnt disturb my priority
it's okay

i'm going to be like this
if everyone wants to
and in my heart,
there's a big thing going there
hustling-bustling like madness happens
a big-big "i'm not okay-i'm not okay"
i'm tired
do you get what i mean
but as long as
everyone okay
i'm just physically okay

but thankgod
i'm afraid
i'm scared
it's really useful
and sometimes it's make me hard to calm

what do we mean by laid back
is it calm?
or blur?

erm...i dont know about that
it's just my heart has this dilemma
and i dont know why Allah gave this
i believe something great waiting for me

as-syahidah is my dream!!!

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