~_~

assalamualaikum...

there's a big balloon of water in my heart. counting time to explode.

i feel like wanna cry but i hold it on.
*gloomy*
since i dont know when, but i feel so hopeless. ahhhh!!!! i wanna go there.
i wannnnnaaa goooo!! dont you hear me??!!
just because of that petty reason, i cannot go. what a shame, bella!!

what a shame!!
i'm still trying to hold it. i dont want people to see it.

Ya Allah...
hambaMu ini rasa sedih sekali. rasa sedih ditapis olehMu. malam terakhir aku tak dapat ke sana. rasa rugi sangat Ya Allah. my heart breaks to see myself as one of the people who were not chosen by Allah. yes, i feel such a useless slave. it was more hurt when i was ready to go, i was excited to go, but then, i cant. just because of another person.

arghhhh!!!
yesterday, i had the same case. i was late to meet You just because of other person. but, i cannot get mad at them because they didn't understand.
again, they didn't understand. what i could do is just cry. cry. cry.
as no one can understand this thing. only You the one who understand the whole thing. and to You, i cried whole-heartedly.

maybe, i'm the one who started it. being ignorant to many things. i admit i did wrong. and if this happened because of myself, i accept it.

still heart-broken. Your love is all I need, Ya Allah!

"He knows what is in the heavens and on earth: and He knows what ye conceal and what ye reveal: yea, Allah knows well the (secrets) of (all) hearts."

At-Taghabun,64:4