the.problem.is.me.

assalamualaikum..

i wanna say sorry for being myself that i say you cant accept it, rite?!
i know i'm cruel. that's why i wanna change. but, somehow, it seems so hard for me to change my attitude.
now, you know rite who is truly me..
i mean, i am soo sorry!
sometimes, that is ME. but, i dont know why. but, when i'm doing like that. it's because there's something i wanna prevent inside of me. it's like a hustle bustle city down there.

you were always say that I always get mad at you. and you know what, i am NOT! but, i do admit that people always misunderstood me and i'm okay with that if it seems to happen to you because it always happen since i was little.
even, sometimes, before this ( when i was a kid) my family did that.

but now, i started to change a little bit. and i start it with my family. and friends? i've THIS experience and since that incident, i made promise to myself about ....... and now, i just started to change it just because of you.

i know you mad and hurt because of me. and you know what..it mess me up. i try so hard to cheer you up and to follow your mood and it's just not happening.

my family knew this ( i've this short term emotionless disease) and i know it's NOT GOOD.

but still, i wanna tell that i am SORRY and i hope you dont give up with me and if you do, i understand. it's in my genes, which is to cover my emotion. i admit sometimes, it's an EGO.
i've loads of it. i admit.

so, luckily to tell that this is the sign means you are a person who is close to me. and again, i say i am SORRY! 

please. i hope it will NOT disturbs our responsbility.

YA ALLAH, YA GHAFFAR, IGHFIR ZUNUBANA!!!

this is just the beginning of my obstacles for this week.

ya allah, you are my source of strength. please ya allah. make me think of YOU everytime to keep me strong!!!