monologue-ing.myself.

Assalamualaikum...

What can I say? How do I put this? Arghhh..I dont know. Seriously, I feel like crying. T_T 

Can I just say it? 

Now, I am not satisfied at all with many things happened. Physically, everything is in good position but it's just in my heart and my mind. Both in such a mess! Can I say that I don't have my own time and I blame for everyone around me? Can I blame them for making me busy most of the time until I don't have my pleasure time? Yup, I'm not satisfied at all with all the feedbacks that I got. You know it's like you made a really special, mouth-watering chocolate moist cake to give to someone but that person ruins it by saying it tastes worse!!

ARGHHHHH!!! (so sorry for being soo emo but i have to)

yes, I did mistakes! yes, I made it hard for everyone!! but somehow, I cant bare to receive all the faults. I'm trying okay, I'm trying!! Does it too bad that I just can't get any good words? 

Okay, stop right there, bella!!

Stop at that particular last sentence!!

What were you saying? You want to hear good words? You want people to give you compliments? That is your problem!! 

I know that you were trying to do the work well done. I know you put soo much thoughts and efforts on these things but if you really just do it for the sake of wanting to get compliment, well, just don't do it, okay!!

Don't do it for that! Just DON'T!

You will keep tiring yourself up again and again and over again like the stupid cycle! Please bella, pleaseee.! Please restart or change yourself. You're making yourself harder and harder if you were working like this. 

"Working to please God opens all the beautiful roads for you and leads you through to Paradise. Working to please people isn't but a dead end" - IslamPlusQuotes

Take that, bella! Really, you have to always, always and always reminding yourself of your intention! Work for the sake of Allah! InsyaAllah, Allah will give the best chance to make you realize how good you are..aminn.

note 1 : my pleasure time is not a time to get myself relax but to get myself updated doing my own works (ignore it).