I just want to write a little bit about my near death experience yesterday. Just to pour out my feeling here. That's it.
So yesterday I decided to follow my akhawat to go swimming in UM swimming pool for the first time. It was normal. I went to have my dinner first alone in the car and then wait for Kak Sol and Wahida to come to the pool. When they arrived there, we made our way to the pool and luckily, I got it for free. Kak Sol was telling me so you have no excuse not to go swimming here. I was thinking the same thing.
So we changed our swimming suits and headed to the pool. We put ourselves at the very close to the swimming lane stand where swimmers jump to go inside the pool. We played around by ourselves as everyone tried to brush up their swimming skills. I forgot to mention when I first stepped into the pool, it's not that deep. The water is up to my neck and I thought that it is going to be same for the whole pool. They forgot to tell me that when you go further to middle of the lane, the depth is going to be higher.
I swam until the middle part of the lane and got tired. So, I stop swim and try to stand on my feet but the water got up to my face that I feel panicked. I struggled to make my face floating to catch some breath and I swallowed some of the water as well. I thought I'm going to drown there. I yelled as well but I think no one hears me cause the pool is big and there were not many people there. Around less than 10 people swimming in the pool.
As I struggled to be alive, it's like someone told me in my mind that I need to be relax and calm. I tried to stay calm and I realised that if I tip toe my face can be on the surface. So, with my weak body, I tried to walk slowly with the end of my toes to go the side of the pool. After few moments (that I feel like years), I managed to get to the side and put my hand on it. It was such a relief!!! I feel like I'm alive again. It's like I was given a chance to live again. T_T
I put myself on top the side of the pool, caught more air, calm myself down from all the coughs and panic to gain back the strength. Then, Kak Sol came and told me about the depth of the pool and I said I almost drown just now from it. She apologised from forgetting to tell about that and I said it's okay. I mean it's not her fault and it somehow my fault as I don't really prepare or try to study the situation first (in this case, to know the depth of the pool for the whole swimming area). You know, when animal is getting into a new place, it will study the area first before it does something.
I mean, same goes to us, we too need to actually prepare before we do anything. Not just simply blindly do things without guidance. I think this is what Allah wants to experience yesterday. The fact that I feel that I'm going drown or maybe die is just horrible. Thinking about my deeds in this life, I don't think I am ready. So many things to improve inside of me. I am not yet maximise my time in doing good stuffs, always lose focus and whatnot. But the truth is, we ready or not, if it's the time, then it has to. We cannot delay our death and it has written for us. There were a lot of cases about people who died out of sudden. It can be while praying, playing and naudzubillah not while doing sin. T_T
People say that high chances are we are going to die while doing activity that we engage the most in our life which is make sense right. I mean, if you spend 24 hours doing something, so you have high possibility to die while doing that. So, bella, why not you engage with something that gives you benefits dunia akhirat so that you may die with Allah's Redha. Aminnn...I pray that I can die in the state my iman is at the highest. Aminnn ya Rabb!
Okay, that's it for now. Till then, see ya!