aware.

Assalamualaikum...

Everyone's great? Yup, cool! (This is how Kiwi talks..just saying)

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah for everything, ya Allah!

Frankly speaking, now I'm on top of the peak of loads mountain. So many things to cover for tests next few days plus essay, assignment and whatever..who cares! When I was in the lectures just now, this one sweet, beautiful lecturer gave something like awareness for the test. (actually it's just tips, manage your time..bla bla bla). But she successfully made me feel like this is not just a test, this is like an examm!! warghh~ and at that particular time, I was started to think and plan..okey, tonight, I have to finish this and that, tomorrow revision etc. I was too absorbed by this kind of "exam environment". All these thought of I have to get really prepared for the test consumed my brain for 2 hours lectures.

After that, I'll went straight to library to print notes, assignment etc. About 10 to 15 minutes later, everything's done and I opened up my fb and the first thing that I saw was a post by my (no blood relation) sister. She told that she feels nervous thinking about what will happen in Jerusalem right now. That made me feel like I was been shot continuously by a machine gun (I know it's kinda exaggerating, but it's the truth.) An eye-opener for that moment. What am I doing here...forcing my mind to worry again and again about the test, but never in one second, I think of Ummah which is in this case, Global March to Jerusalem (GMJ) that happens now. It made me reflect on how sensitive my heart is! T_T

Alhamdulillah, Allah is still giving me a reminder that time..thank you Allah! to always care about what happens to the Ummah nowadays. On the way back to home, I feel so sad (even now) to think of how i-dont-know-what-to-say-maybe-cruel-or-heartless? am i! It's like ya Allah those people that are participating the event.. in hours or minutes or seconds from right now, they are marching to Jerusalem to fight for Justice in the name of Allah. People there keep their mind busy thinking about Palestine and Ummah while me, worrying about test!? so pathetic, I can say.

I'm almost cry to think of that. What saddens me the most is I was not thinking of Ummah for one second before this for this day! My mind is occupied with all these Dunya things and it makes me feel terrible as a slave of Allah. How I wish I can be among those who participates in GMJ. They have a chance to get the title that I yearn for: AsSyahid. (I know we can get the title anywhere due to certain criteria and situation, but to stand in Palestine fighting for the sake of Allah and confronting Zionist, that is something HUGE! ) I envy to see them who are being soo lucky to get there to help Palestine. I know and believe there must be a reason why I am here and why they are there..Allah is the best planner, right!

Only Allah knows what's the best for us. All of the people there might be among the best people that Allah has selected to join the event. O Allah, please guide me for I am just Your weak slave! T_T

"And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of his bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing." [4:32]

"Dan janganlah kamu iri hati terhadap karunia yang telah dilebihkan Allah kepada sebahagian kamu atas sebagian yang lain. (Karena) bagi laki-laki ada bagian dari apa yang mereka usahakan, dan bagi perempuan (pun) ada bagian dari apa yang mereka usahakan. Mohonlah kepada Allah sebagian dari karuniaNya. Sungguh, Allah Maha Mengetahui segala sesuatu." [4:32]

Allahhh T_T

Peace out! May Allah bless you ^_^