aware.

Assalamualaikum...

Everyone's great? Yup, cool! (This is how Kiwi talks..just saying)

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah for everything, ya Allah!

Frankly speaking, now I'm on top of the peak of loads mountain. So many things to cover for tests next few days plus essay, assignment and whatever..who cares! When I was in the lectures just now, this one sweet, beautiful lecturer gave something like awareness for the test. (actually it's just tips, manage your time..bla bla bla). But she successfully made me feel like this is not just a test, this is like an examm!! warghh~ and at that particular time, I was started to think and plan..okey, tonight, I have to finish this and that, tomorrow revision etc. I was too absorbed by this kind of "exam environment". All these thought of I have to get really prepared for the test consumed my brain for 2 hours lectures.

After that, I'll went straight to library to print notes, assignment etc. About 10 to 15 minutes later, everything's done and I opened up my fb and the first thing that I saw was a post by my (no blood relation) sister. She told that she feels nervous thinking about what will happen in Jerusalem right now. That made me feel like I was been shot continuously by a machine gun (I know it's kinda exaggerating, but it's the truth.) An eye-opener for that moment. What am I doing here...forcing my mind to worry again and again about the test, but never in one second, I think of Ummah which is in this case, Global March to Jerusalem (GMJ) that happens now. It made me reflect on how sensitive my heart is! T_T

Alhamdulillah, Allah is still giving me a reminder that time..thank you Allah! to always care about what happens to the Ummah nowadays. On the way back to home, I feel so sad (even now) to think of how i-dont-know-what-to-say-maybe-cruel-or-heartless? am i! It's like ya Allah those people that are participating the event.. in hours or minutes or seconds from right now, they are marching to Jerusalem to fight for Justice in the name of Allah. People there keep their mind busy thinking about Palestine and Ummah while me, worrying about test!? so pathetic, I can say.

I'm almost cry to think of that. What saddens me the most is I was not thinking of Ummah for one second before this for this day! My mind is occupied with all these Dunya things and it makes me feel terrible as a slave of Allah. How I wish I can be among those who participates in GMJ. They have a chance to get the title that I yearn for: AsSyahid. (I know we can get the title anywhere due to certain criteria and situation, but to stand in Palestine fighting for the sake of Allah and confronting Zionist, that is something HUGE! ) I envy to see them who are being soo lucky to get there to help Palestine. I know and believe there must be a reason why I am here and why they are there..Allah is the best planner, right!

Only Allah knows what's the best for us. All of the people there might be among the best people that Allah has selected to join the event. O Allah, please guide me for I am just Your weak slave! T_T

"And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of his bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing." [4:32]

"Dan janganlah kamu iri hati terhadap karunia yang telah dilebihkan Allah kepada sebahagian kamu atas sebagian yang lain. (Karena) bagi laki-laki ada bagian dari apa yang mereka usahakan, dan bagi perempuan (pun) ada bagian dari apa yang mereka usahakan. Mohonlah kepada Allah sebagian dari karuniaNya. Sungguh, Allah Maha Mengetahui segala sesuatu." [4:32]

Allahhh T_T

Peace out! May Allah bless you ^_^

solitary.space.

I just need a space, a time, 

where everybody is not there 

leaving me alone with You

for I'm just a weak slave of You.

O Allah, 

am I that strong?

can I do it?

I just want to have a humble conversation with You

so that I can cry on You

O heart, 

be strong, okay?!

Allah is saying something to you

but you didn't grab it cause of your own weakness.

T__T

Pray and always pray, 

that I can have that solitary space with You.

Forgive me Allah for all the sins that I did.

"Aku mahu pulang ke rumahku, syurga! >_<"

tak.payah.baca.pun.takpe.kot.

Assalamualaikum, everyone!

It's been a long time since the last time I wrote a post here. Now, I'm in the middle of the assignment, searching for some stuff to write an essay about nuclear energy bla, bla, bla.. Just forget it. It's already almost 2 hours I searched for the sources. So, I guess I should take a break for a while with writing something here.

Well, it's 21st March 2012 right which I have to send my statistics assignment before 3pm today. Nope, just kidding. haha. Today is the big day for all the SPM candidates 2011. Mine was 3 years ago and I really remember that day which I don't remember what the date is..hihi. Still, that vivid image of what has happened on that day kept safely here in my mind. 

I was the one who really lazy and has no all these jumping-spirit to get the result. I treated that day just like another unemployed post-SPM day. Waking up in the morning, having breakfast, watching TV, online while I'm pretty sure everyone was very nervous and anxious, preparing for their big day to take result. Asking everyone what kind of clothes to put on, when is the time the result came out, where do we want to meet..at hall or what etc. Even my dad kept asking did I feel nervous or not. For sure, I feel nervous and fyi, that day was one of the busiest day for my mind, doing all these kind of exercise, to get me thinking of what my result would be, what will happen if I get bad result, what will happen if I get good result. Even, there was to an extent that I feel like I will get all subjects with no A. Looks cool on the outside but heaven no in the inside. :D

What happened at that day was my mom and my siblings were already there in school but me and my father were still on our way, going to school in the afternoon. My mom called 2,3 times to get me and my father arrived at the school faster. But thanks to my dad, he really understands me when he acted like nothing happens on that day. We were just chilling around in the car, talking about something that has nothing to do with SPM and taking our own sweet time to arrive at school. 

Yup, thanks to my mom too that although she already knew my result at that time, she didn't tell anything about it when she spoke to me on the phone. I'm kind of person who don't really like others to tell what's going on especially with my own result. However, I knew my result when I was in the car with my dad, someone texted me, congratulating with my result on it. Hurmm.. Never mind, I understand that person was really care about me, that was why she did that, right?! 

Thanks to both my mom and dad and angah and jiha for being there when I took the result. Even my spm result was not the one that I longed for but Alhamdulillah and Thank you sooo much, ya Allah for giving me a great post-SPM life that caused by the result that you gave. I may not get of what I want but I believe in what Allah did to me is the best for me cause Allah is the one who creates and understand me the most. ^_^

Lastly, all the best to my bro, Angah! InsyaAllah what Allah has given to you is the best result for you and always be grateful for what Allah did to us. Whatever happens, you're the best bro that I'd ever had! Bitaufiq wannajah, angah!!   

why?

Assalamualaikum..

Stop burden your mind & soul, worrying about everything.
Just your pick pen up and start plan.
Yup, you have to try to be the most productive that you can be,
for the sake of Allah.

Do not be grieve for the small deed that you did,
as you look into someone's bigger deed.
Do not look into others' room when you have your own room to improve.

Why did you must to get sad when you saw their victory
cause your journey is just about to start.
In the first place, why did you have to look into people?
For you have the Most Generous, the Most Merciful that always there for you.

Why, dear?
Shall we just by ourselves, to look into Him
so that we can find the best answer to know ourselves.

One who has Allah, has everything.. (quoted)

short.note.1

"Sudah berapa kali kau sujud tanpa merasaiNya?!" 

Astaghfirullah...

Allah, kuatkan imanku.

Aku ingin terus bernafas bersama perasaan kasihMu.

Perasaan di mana, setiap kali aku melangkah, aku tahu Kau ada bersamaku. 

Ya Allah, izinkan buat kesekian kalinya, untuk merasai kehadiranMu setiap masa. 

Ampunilah aku, Ya Allah.

Moga perjuangan yang aku lalui hadir bersama perasaan itu..

Biar apapun yang berlaku, aku hanya perlukanMu wahai Tuhanku!

T_T