silver.lining.

"Silver Lining" by Silentdreamer.

Whenever the sun is reaching for the sky,
there will always be a time for it to fall down
Whenever the daylight is speeding to dusk,
there will always appears the night, slowly continues the row.

Remember, challenges come and go.
In every dark blindly road,
it always has its edge of light.
Like what the people define the metamorphosis,
the silent small seed will eventually turns to a stunning blossom.

My dear me,
If huge waves gush you out hardly,
If angry storms suffocate you wildly,
Or even if the harmony tunes radiates your smile happily,
and that fresh air you breathe can never be so calmly before.
Remember, whatever you feel,
is always changing,
from time to time.
It is outside your monitor box.
In fact, it is controlled by the Most Merciful God.

So, do not waste your time to restrain your feeling
He knows the best of what you have to feel.
Do not bother too much with what comes and goes,
cause it is just a sign that He always loves you more.

Thank you Allah for everything.
Alhamdulillah! All praises to Allah.. :)

heartsick.

It just started this early morning. 

It could be my mistake.

But, like what my friend wrote, everything happens if Allah wills.

Every single thing, including this feeling. 

Astaghfirullahhh hal 'azim.

Only to you, I pray to make me strong.

for you are my strength and my provider.. 

Challenge comes and I pray... it goes.

Peace be upon you.. :I

read.if.you.can.relate.to.

SOURCE

Assalamualaikum...

Salam Jumaah or we, Malays say, Jumaat (#justsaying) to all of you!

Anyway, this post is inspired by one of my friends' blog. [HERE] Some sort like writing a letter to yourself in the past. So, if you want to read it, my pleasure.. if you aren't going to, simply say thanks so much for coming ^_^

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Dear 12 years old me, 

You worked so hard to get 5As for your UPSR exam and I know how you feel when your mother start talking to people about you're just finished it and praying that you'll get 5As. The fear that you will make you mother's hope breaks and feel sad always playing in your head like your favourite Avril's songs. Don't worry you'll get what you aimed for. Plus, please dear, just be yourself! You are the best just the way you are. You don't need to refer your "up-to-date" friend as a perfect person! Let me tell you, when you're 20, you're wayyy luckier than your used-to-be perfect person. 

Dear 13 years old me, 

Welcome to a new world! A hostel life promises you with so many great memories and also some bad ones. Seniors, yes, sometimes they can get worse, but just stay nice to them. InsyaAllah they will be nice to you. Remember, we're Muslims and Muslims are very loving to each other. Collect every memories that you made with your friends. What can I say, secondary school is the best place for you to learn new things in your life. You'll know what is friendship, seniority and everything else. About the homesick, don't worry! After quite some times, you heal :)


Dear 14 years old me, 


Well, everything gets better, isn't it? Haha. You're having fun with your friends, aren't you? I know that you're really enjoy to be there in your secondary school. But I guess I need to tell you some advice.. To tell something. This year, one of your friends will get you to know with one thing that will be one of your most "hardcore" jahilyyah - your Japanese Korean addiction. Yes, you'll learn to watch the JK drama and after that you'll get addicted to it for the next 6 years! I know it somehow help you to stay away from more serious haram problem which is lovey-dovey-teenagers-thingy by just concentrating every spotlight of yourself to your favorite Japanese Korean actors. But, to tell you the truth, you're just ruin yourself deeply. I know you're not understand it now but please.. get something else that can keep you closer to Allah. Not JK things! Why don't you start by looking for Baba Ali's video (i think this year, he's already uploaded his videos) or you can start looking for some islamic writings and poem! Yup, in 2011, you'll know that actually you have this kind of interest in poems. If you learn islamic poems from now, I bet you can be a superb Muslim poet in 2011. Try go for Rumi and other Muslims poet. 


Dear 15 years old me, 


Feeling nervous much for your PMR this year, huh?! Just do what you need to do. InsyaAllah Allah will give you the best result for you. Don't forget to put every effort that you have just for the sake of Allah. You want to succeed just because of Allah. Because Allah has given every single nikmat in our life, so why don't we just tire ourselves for Him even though we cannot afford to give back what Allah gave us. Just be nice to everyone okay.. One more, why don't you try to search for more story about Our Great Leader, Prophet Muhammad? I swear it will be a great idea cause all the story that you've heard about Rasulullah in your school is just small portion of his whole life. Not to forget about his cool and awesome companions and other superb leaders of Islamic history like Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh and Salahuddin Al-Ayyubi. Remember that, okay?!

Dear 16 years old me,

Congratulations for your PMR result!! Don't forget to say Alhamdulillah.. ^_^. Now, it's your so-called 'honeymoon' year. Seriously, you need to study cause it would be a lot of burden if you have to study 2 years syllabus in just one year. I know you are a grown-up, you know what is good and what is bad to you and your future, but your just-friend-relationship that you have with opposite gender is just a waste of time. I'm not mocking you, dear. But I know you know that you'll end up nothing with him. You are just playing around with someone that actually has a free time to contact you. I know you are a great girl and deep inside, you're really want to be a great person with a great personality. So, dear, from what I see now, that the great person that you dream to be is a true Muslim. One who has a great attachment to Allah is indeed a great awesome person in the world! I want you to know this cause, in the future, you'll discover great personalities which their BIG secret is just to have a great relationship with Allah, then Allah will take care everything in your life. I love you so much that I tell you this whole thing.

Dear 17 years old me,

Okay, let me guess, you're in the middle of worrying about your SPM, right? I know cause I've been that position. Haha. You are very determined to excel in your SPM that you have a book that you filled with your goals which are to get Petronas Scholarship in Engineering, Study Abroad in UK and get yourself on "Salam Perantau" column. You looked at your goals everyday in the morning because it never failed to give you the strength to hold yourself up. Just working and putting the effort, insyaAllah you'll kinda achieve one of your goals in 2012 - Study Abroad! One more thing, just live the hostel life with your friends to the fullest! It's your senior year and the last year you wears your uniform! If something bad happens, try to ignore it as much as you can and work for your goals. InsyaAllah you'll excel in your SPM!

Dear 18 years old me,

I recommend you to spend your holidays with something more benefit. Attaching yourself with all these Japanese Korean thingy is a major big mistake. Even, in this unemployed period, you reached the climax of your JK fever. Most of the time of the day you'll spend watching JK dramas and movies, and even every your blog posts have JK elements. Try search for Maher Zain and Sami Yusuf or discover about Muslim's life in other countries. Use your internet to get to know how's the Muslims live everyday in different countries and you'll know what the reality is! This year you'll start a new phase of your life. You'll get yourself in something that you can never think of! IB will teach you many new things especially hardship and courage. I know you'll get stress so much with it but remember, in your college, you will find one of the most great things happen in your life. So, just go through the challenges and get a right crowd to be friend of. You have to make a right choice and try to join every Islamic activities that you'll know there cause that's actually determines your way of thinking and your inner-self.

Dear 19 years old me,

I know now you know why I've been putting up elements of Islam in every letters that I wrote. Congratulations for what you did! You now already met the most amazing feeling in your life - to feel the love of Allah. Yes, I know it's so stunningly beautiful. You really have to say Alhamdulillah many many times cause after this you'll realize there are abundance of nikmat or gifts that Allah presented for us. One short notes to you ; go for what you believe cause Allah knows what's the best for you!

Dear 20 years old me,

IB exam is just 5 months away and I know exactly how nervous you are. This period of time, you'll always think about your future. Do I survive IB? Do I have the chance to study abroad? How can I balance all these stuffs? and the list goes on.. One thing that I want you to bear in mind; always keep in touch with Allah. You have beautiful sisters that will always lend you shoulders, keep tracking of yourselves and trying the best they can to keep you in this road to chase Allah's love. After this, you'll always missing them so much and really pray that one day Allah will gather all of us together back. Just keep moving for the sake of Allah.

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Somehow, I reflect that Allah has given me soo much gifts and I never can stop saying Thank You Allah for always be in my side and keep guiding me until this time. I need to work harder and harder cause I want to feel the greatest feeling in Jannah later. O Allah, please guide me and all muslims forever!

p/s: this post is actually takes 6 days cause I dont have many times to write a long post.

Peace out!

we.are.beautiful.

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you!

Alhamdulillah and thank you Allah for everything. ^_^

Well, this post was inspired by what happened yesterday at my kampong in Pahang. That morning, I was in the kitchen, helping my mother and my grandmother to make breakfast. While we were doing that, we listened to "Tanyalah Ustaz" in TV9. The Ustaz told the audience that once the husband enters the jannah, he will automatically find her wife, But then, my grandmother asked, "What if the husband has 3 wives?". No answers from the Ustaz, obvioulsy right?! haha. (Okay, that's not the point..sorry)

After that, the Ustaz told a story where Prophet Muhammad said to an old lady that there will be no elders in the Jannah. I'm sure you know the story right? Or if you didn't, let me tell you. So, the old lady felt so sad cause she thought she didn't have the chance to enter the Jannah. Then, the Prophet s.a.w said (this is no the exact sentence), actually everyone that enters Jannah is a young beautiful/handsome person. Even though he/she dies at an old age, if she/he enters the Jannah, she/he will be young again. And this time it's for EVER!!!

That's when I thought of why do I have to spend or I can say, waste a lot of time to think about how to be beautiful. Cause to be beautiful in this world is just for a short time. I know, we girls, really like to be beautiful. Whenever we see any woman/lady that is so stunning or very pretty, automatically we have this enthusiasm to be like that person. To be beautiful too. 

But, know this, one tip that I discover to be beautiful forever is just in front of our eyes. No, we don't have to extremely sacrifice ourselves for dieting or having a surgery to look younger. It is just working out to get ourselves a victory in the Hereafter. The true-est awesome fantastic victory which are Mardhatillah or Ridha from Allah and that's ultimately confirm us to be in Jannah, and automatically a yes to be awesomely beautiful for eternity. 

Think again. Why don't we waste our energy, our time, our thoughts with something that is for a short term period of time. Why don't we just focusing of our time to put everything that we have for the sake of Allah. In fact, in this Dunya, we are beautiful in our own way. To really fulfill the criteria of public definition of beautiful is something ridiculous cause you'll never can satisfy people's perception. So, why don't we put all the extra hard works to make Allah loves us. That's a perfect deed, right?! 

InsyaAllah I'm reminding myself and my dear readers to check back ourselves again. What have we done with all of our time before? Struggling everything just for Dunya or struggling everything for Allah. Like what my sister in Islam said, "If we chase the World, we only get the World. But if we chase Hereafter, we get the best of both world." 

InsyaAllah, come on, let's get ourselves to be beautiful in Jannah! ^_^ 

To be a Great Muslim is the way to be beautiful forever.

SOURCE

update.or.in.malay.we.say.hapdet.

Assalamualaikum and a very good day to you!

First, let's begin with Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for everything that You did to me :)

Okey. 

Last night just came back from Perlis for my family's funeral. Tok Cik Aishah to be precise. She passed away in the evening of Monday and buried on the morning of Tuesday. Yes, I'm not really close to her but whenever me and my family went to Perlis, we always visit her family. Her husband is actually my grandfather or Wan's youngest brother. So, the last time I met her was during the last weeks of December 2011. Yup, just 3 weeks ago, approximately. 

It was the first time I visit a full funeral. From A to Z. A lot of things that I saw yesterday. From tears and sadness until being strong and calm. Yup, I could say that everyone's being strong and calm. Even when the part kissing the jenazah, all her family members were very strong holding their tears back. Behind those swollen red teary eyes, who knows how many walls of courage they had to put? 

Even until last night, my minds kept playing images of her- talking about her condition, her children which clearly taken from my old visits memories. My mother once told me that if we are thinking about people who already dead, why don't we recite Surah Al-Fatihah for them. 

Like what Makngah said yesterday, 

"She already reach the next level of 'life' (- Alam Barzakh). We are the next ones-to-be. No one of us knows when is our time.." 

Yup, simply put, we have to always remember death for the sake of our good in the Hereafter!

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Move on..

InsyaAllah the flight has been confirmed. InsyaAllah on the 18th of February I'll fly to Auckland at 9.50pm. Seriously, I am very very very nervous to think of that. It's not just because I'm about to live in a whole new place and to study in a place that I have no experience, maybe because of I have not fully prepared for it. There's a lot of things that I worried, not just academically things but also the dakwah part. I admit there's many books that I haven't finish yet. To be honest, 7 months of holiday is not enough! huhu..

But, it's okay. I believe Allah had put the best things and preparation for the next life in Auckland. Mariam once told me that we need to prepare not only for the next 4 years in life (which is my oversea's life) but we need to be fully prepared for the next long-life after that; my whole life in Malaysia. I have to think about it to make sure what I aimed for happens which to be an improving true muslim everday :) insyaAllah..

Pray for me, readers. There's a little excitement there but major anxious that I feel! hoho :O

okey, peace out, people!!

midnight.plea.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..


O Allah...
Forgive me for all the things that I did
Everyday, most of the time, I did mistakes
and even worse, I made the same mistakes again and again and again,


O Allah,
I know I am wrong, my sins are too much to handle.
I always waste my time..this is just one of the zillions sins that I have.


Please, Ya Allah,
Forgive all of my wrongdoings,
I am Your weakest slave,
I've sinned so much.
If I did something good today, it will never get a chance to cover my sins..
too much ya Allah, too much!


I know and believe You are the one who know exactly how much my sins are.
So, I'm begging you, my Lord..
please ya Allah, forgive me..
cause I know that the end of this life is the hereafter..
there are just two places to live there,
Heaven that is full with Your love,
and Hellfire that is full with fears.


And to make it worse,
I dont want to feel regret in the Hellfire,
cause I know the greatest pain in that place is not just the torments
but also, the humongous disappointment, that lasts not only in my Dunya-life 

but all the way in my Hereafter-life..

which is endless. 

O Allah, 

forgive all my sins, my family's sins, my sisters', my friends', my teachers' and every Muslims’ in the world. 

Because no one could makes us truly happy except You.

I'm begging, please receive this pray,

So that all of us will not feel terrible for ourselves,

for we believe that death can be at anytime, 

in fact we didn't know if we still got time..

O my Rabb, 

I only depend on You..

Please accept this prayer because I know You are my only God.

"And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins - and who can forgive sins except Allah ? - and [who] do not persist in what they have done while they know." (3:135)

just.me.and.you.

"Open The Quran! Read The Quran! And let Allah speak to you!"

"Allah will do it for you..Allow His book to touch the heart..."

"And insyaAllah.."

"Allow Allah to talk to you..And He's talking to you, in the Qur'an"

"He's talking to you, and me and to every passerby in the street.. Let Him talk to you"

"And you will not be able to sit on your back side doing nothing..waiting the other people to come and make a mess of you."

"To use you as a punching bag, to use you as a doormat.. to make a mess on your head!"

"IS THAT YOUR ROLE? Allah says no.."

"And enough is Allah as a witness to this FACT..that He's going to make HIS DEEN to prevail..."

"It's a privilege Allah has given you.. Take it!"

[One of the Ahmad Deedat's Speeches]

Allahhh....

The.sweetest.words.of.the.day.

Allah s.w.t berfirman, maksudnya : 

"Wahai Musa, dahulu ketika dia melakukan maksiat dan derhaka kepada-Ku, Aku tidak pernah membuka aibnya. Apakah sekarang Aku akan membuka aibnya itu ketika dia telah kembali melakukan ketaatan kepada-Ku?"

If you want to know more about what exactly happened of what Allah said here, you can read the story of Prophet Musa a.s during the drought on the last page of Solusi magazine issue 39. ^_^

p/s: Allah is ssoo sweet T_T

The.Strength.of.The.Memories

"The Strength of The Memories" by Silentdreamer.

The clock's ticking like a brave patriot,
loyally moves without any fear of what it faces through,
and I,
here I am,
lost in a place that I made myself for.

This new journey prepares me with so many waves to encounter,
so many gems that I should pick,
but yet,
I am lost in that state of the battle,
thinking of all of you, my dear sisters.

Remember this one day,
when everyone had our own bricks to break,
surely, we broke the bricks together.
I still remember clearly,
that days of us,
our days of struggling with many challenges,
we have everyone that multiplies our multiplied courage,
we even get stronger days by days.

And now,
I'm alone here,
in this solitary space,
fighting with my emotions to lift my own soul
and wasting a moment,
thinking of all of you to enrich the memories of us.

For this moment and later,
I believe,
deep inside in everyone of us,
having the same song of feeling that plays from time to time,
but never mind,
Allah is the best planner, right?

Oh my dear sisters,
shall we
strive together with our 'borrowed' souls for the sake of Allah..?

SOURCE

dream.on.

Assalamualaikum..

So many days I left my blog without any post..so sorry. Actually, it was quite busy holiday I had plus, I dont bring laptop while I was on vacation. But now, Alhamdulillah, vacation done. Just got back from my kampong in Perlis a few hours ago and tonight, I have to repack my things to go to Bangi tomorrow for a program. InsyaAllah, I hope Allah will give me continuos reminders and new things to learn more and more about myself and Him. hee.

Yup, I thought I was not going to write anything but since I have the chance, why dont I just write something, right? :) But still, I have to write for a short post cause my repack is not done yet. There are 5 T-shirts that have to be settled on.

Actually, I really want to write about my vacation because there's so much new things I learnt and discovered, but I think it's not the time now. InsyaAllah I'll write later in one special post about that. Just a brief, I've been to Singapore for 2 days, then went to Indonesia for 6 days and after that headed to my favorite kampongs, both in Pahang and Perlis for about 6 days. and InsyaAllah tomorrow to Bangi for 2 days and last would be Gombak. 

Well, it's already 2012. A new year. Alhamdulillah tonight Allah taught me about something. 

Sometimes, I wonder how my years in New Zealand would be? Is it okay? Is it bad or better or even great? I dont know. But, when I see many of my friends are very very wayy better than themselves before in college, I started to feel excited to be apart of that incoming journey. From what I see, they'd become soo brave and strong as they learnt sooo much things. New things. Can I say that I am envy with them? Totally envy!!

But, I'm sure what they had learn are not something that easy peasy to face. It takes enormous courage, sacrifices, sweat, tears and I dont know if it has to do with blood (?) or maybe, it has? So good to see people are really working just for sake of serving Allah. They are like a child who started to run but me, still a baby trying to stand up with his own feet. T_T 

InsyaAllah with new place, new people, new atmosphere, new you-name-it, I'll try my best to make sure that I become one of those Great Quranic Generation like those Companions of the Prophet S.A.W. I hope that Allah will keep reminding me and always forgive my tonnes and tonnes continuing sins. I dream to be one of Your syahid, Ya Allah. Allahumma fighlana bi khusnil khatimah! amin. 

Now, I have to prepare as many as I can so that I can easily adapt with the new things in NZ. Then, I can start my engine as earlier as possible. The most important is to take care my iman and taqwa. InsyaAllah...

Everyday, I dream to be one of those Great Servants of Yours

and that everyday, I have to put the efforts to be what I always dream on

So, dream and work for it, bella! 

Okay, really got to go! 

Peace be upon you, readers :)