either.life.or.dream

silver.lining.

2012-01-26T22:04:00.000+08:00

"Silver Lining" by Silentdreamer.

Whenever the sun is reaching for the sky,
there will always be a time for it to fall down
Whenever the daylight is speeding to dusk,
there will always appears the night, slowly continues the row.

Remember, challenges come and go.
In every dark blindly road,
it always has its edge of light.
Like what the people define the metamorphosis,
the silent small seed will eventually turns to a stunning blossom.

My dear me,
If huge waves gush you out hardly,
If angry storms suffocate you wildly,
Or even if the harmony tunes radiates your smile happily,
and that fresh air you breathe can never be so calmly before.
Remember, whatever you feel,
is always changing,
from time to time.
It is outside your monitor box.
In fact, it is controlled by the Most Merciful God.

So, do not waste your time to restrain your feeling
He knows the best of what you have to feel.
Do not bother too much with what comes and goes,
cause it is just a sign that He always loves you more.

Thank you Allah for everything.
Alhamdulillah! All praises to Allah.. :)

heartsick.

2012-01-26T00:10:00.002+08:00

It just started this early morning.

It could be my mistake.

But, like what my friend wrote, everything happens if Allah wills.

Every single thing, including this feeling.

Astaghfirullahhh hal 'azim.

Only to you, I pray to make me strong.

for you are my strength and my provider..

Challenge comes and I pray... it goes.

Peace be upon you.. :I

read.if.you.can.relate.to.

2012-01-25T16:06:00.001+08:00

SOURCE

Assalamualaikum...

Salam Jumaah or we, Malays say, Jumaat (#justsaying) to all of you!

Anyway, this post is inspired by one of my friends' blog. [HERE] Some sort like writing a letter to yourself in the past. So, if you want to read it, my pleasure.. if you aren't going to, simply say thanks so much for coming ^_^

Dear 12 years old me,

You worked so hard to get 5As for your UPSR exam and I know how you feel when your mother start talking to people about you're just finished it and praying that you'll get 5As. The fear that you will make you mother's hope breaks and feel sad always playing in your head like your favourite Avril's songs. Don't worry you'll get what you aimed for. Plus, please dear, just be yourself! You are the best just the way you are. You don't need to refer your "up-to-date" friend as a perfect person! Let me tell you, when you're 20, you're wayyy luckier than your used-to-be perfect person.

Dear 13 years old me,

Welcome to a new world! A hostel life promises you with so many great memories and also some bad ones. Seniors, yes, sometimes they can get worse, but just stay nice to them. InsyaAllah they will be nice to you. Remember, we're Muslims and Muslims are very loving to each other. Collect every memories that you made with your friends. What can I say, secondary school is the best place for you to learn new things in your life. You'll know what is friendship, seniority and everything else. About the homesick, don't worry! After quite some times, you heal :)

Dear 14 years old me,

Well, everything gets better, isn't it? Haha. You're having fun with your friends, aren't you? I know that you're really enjoy to be there in your secondary school. But I guess I need to tell you some advice.. To tell something. This year, one of your friends will get you to know with one thing that will be one of your most "hardcore" jahilyyah - your Japanese Korean addiction. Yes, you'll learn to watch the JK drama and after that you'll get addicted to it for the next 6 years! I know it somehow help you to stay away from more serious haram problem which is lovey-dovey-teenagers-thingy by just concentrating every spotlight of yourself to your favorite Japanese Korean actors. But, to tell you the truth, you're just ruin yourself deeply. I know you're not understand it now but please.. get something else that can keep you closer to Allah. Not JK things! Why don't you start by looking for Baba Ali's video (i think this year, he's already uploaded his videos) or you can start looking for some islamic writings and poem! Yup, in 2011, you'll know that actually you have this kind of interest in poems. If you learn islamic poems from now, I bet you can be a superb Muslim poet in 2011. Try go for Rumi and other Muslims poet.

Dear 15 years old me,

Feeling nervous much for your PMR this year, huh?! Just do what you need to do. InsyaAllah Allah will give you the best result for you. Don't forget to put every effort that you have just for the sake of Allah. You want to succeed just because of Allah. Because Allah has given every single nikmat in our life, so why don't we just tire ourselves for Him even though we cannot afford to give back what Allah gave us. Just be nice to everyone okay.. One more, why don't you try to search for more story about Our Great Leader, Prophet Muhammad? I swear it will be a great idea cause all the story that you've heard about Rasulullah in your school is just small portion of his whole life. Not to forget about his cool and awesome companions and other superb leaders of Islamic history like Sultan Muhammad Al-Fateh and Salahuddin Al-Ayyubi. Remember that, okay?!

Dear 16 years old me,

Congratulations for your PMR result!! Don't forget to say Alhamdulillah.. ^_^. Now, it's your so-called 'honeymoon' year. Seriously, you need to study cause it would be a lot of burden if you have to study 2 years syllabus in just one year. I know you are a grown-up, you know what is good and what is bad to you and your future, but your just-friend-relationship that you have with opposite gender is just a waste of time. I'm not mocking you, dear. But I know you know that you'll end up nothing with him. You are just playing around with someone that actually has a free time to contact you. I know you are a great girl and deep inside, you're really want to be a great person with a great personality. So, dear, from what I see now, that the great person that you dream to be is a true Muslim. One who has a great attachment to Allah is indeed a great awesome person in the world! I want you to know this cause, in the future, you'll discover great personalities which their BIG secret is just to have a great relationship with Allah, then Allah will take care everything in your life. I love you so much that I tell you this whole thing.

Dear 17 years old me,

Okay, let me guess, you're in the middle of worrying about your SPM, right? I know cause I've been that position. Haha. You are very determined to excel in your SPM that you have a book that you filled with your goals which are to get Petronas Scholarship in Engineering, Study Abroad in UK and get yourself on "Salam Perantau" column. You looked at your goals everyday in the morning because it never failed to give you the strength to hold yourself up. Just working and putting the effort, insyaAllah you'll kinda achieve one of your goals in 2012 - Study Abroad! One more thing, just live the hostel life with your friends to the fullest! It's your senior year and the last year you wears your uniform! If something bad happens, try to ignore it as much as you can and work for your goals. InsyaAllah you'll excel in your SPM!

Dear 18 years old me,

I recommend you to spend your holidays with something more benefit. Attaching yourself with all these Japanese Korean thingy is a major big mistake. Even, in this unemployed period, you reached the climax of your JK fever. Most of the time of the day you'll spend watching JK dramas and movies, and even every your blog posts have JK elements. Try search for Maher Zain and Sami Yusuf or discover about Muslim's life in other countries. Use your internet to get to know how's the Muslims live everyday in different countries and you'll know what the reality is! This year you'll start a new phase of your life. You'll get yourself in something that you can never think of! IB will teach you many new things especially hardship and courage. I know you'll get stress so much with it but remember, in your college, you will find one of the most great things happen in your life. So, just go through the challenges and get a right crowd to be friend of. You have to make a right choice and try to join every Islamic activities that you'll know there cause that's actually determines your way of thinking and your inner-self.

Dear 19 years old me,

I know now you know why I've been putting up elements of Islam in every letters that I wrote. Congratulations for what you did! You now already met the most amazing feeling in your life - to feel the love of Allah. Yes, I know it's so stunningly beautiful. You really have to say Alhamdulillah many many times cause after this you'll realize there are abundance of nikmat or gifts that Allah presented for us. One short notes to you ; go for what you believe cause Allah knows what's the best for you!

Dear 20 years old me,

IB exam is just 5 months away and I know exactly how nervous you are. This period of time, you'll always think about your future. Do I survive IB? Do I have the chance to study abroad? How can I balance all these stuffs? and the list goes on.. One thing that I want you to bear in mind; always keep in touch with Allah. You have beautiful sisters that will always lend you shoulders, keep tracking of yourselves and trying the best they can to keep you in this road to chase Allah's love. After this, you'll always missing them so much and really pray that one day Allah will gather all of us together back. Just keep moving for the sake of Allah.

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-
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-
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Somehow, I reflect that Allah has given me soo much gifts and I never can stop saying Thank You Allah for always be in my side and keep guiding me until this time. I need to work harder and harder cause I want to feel the greatest feeling in Jannah later. O Allah, please guide me and all muslims forever!

p/s: this post is actually takes 6 days cause I dont have many times to write a long post.

Peace out!

we.are.beautiful.

2012-01-25T13:42:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you!

Alhamdulillah and thank you Allah for everything. ^_^

Well, this post was inspired by what happened yesterday at my kampong in Pahang. That morning, I was in the kitchen, helping my mother and my grandmother to make breakfast. While we were doing that, we listened to "Tanyalah Ustaz" in TV9. The Ustaz told the audience that once the husband enters the jannah, he will automatically find her wife, But then, my grandmother asked, "What if the husband has 3 wives?". No answers from the Ustaz, obvioulsy right?! haha. (Okay, that's not the point..sorry)

After that, the Ustaz told a story where Prophet Muhammad said to an old lady that there will be no elders in the Jannah. I'm sure you know the story right? Or if you didn't, let me tell you. So, the old lady felt so sad cause she thought she didn't have the chance to enter the Jannah. Then, the Prophet s.a.w said (this is no the exact sentence), actually everyone that enters Jannah is a young beautiful/handsome person. Even though he/she dies at an old age, if she/he enters the Jannah, she/he will be young again. And this time it's for EVER!!!

That's when I thought of why do I have to spend or I can say, waste a lot of time to think about how to be beautiful. Cause to be beautiful in this world is just for a short time. I know, we girls, really like to be beautiful. Whenever we see any woman/lady that is so stunning or very pretty, automatically we have this enthusiasm to be like that person. To be beautiful too.

But, know this, one tip that I discover to be beautiful forever is just in front of our eyes. No, we don't have to extremely sacrifice ourselves for dieting or having a surgery to look younger. It is just working out to get ourselves a victory in the Hereafter. The true-est awesome fantastic victory which are Mardhatillah or Ridha from Allah and that's ultimately confirm us to be in Jannah, and automatically a yes to be awesomely beautiful for eternity.

Think again. Why don't we waste our energy, our time, our thoughts with something that is for a short term period of time. Why don't we just focusing of our time to put everything that we have for the sake of Allah. In fact, in this Dunya, we are beautiful in our own way. To really fulfill the criteria of public definition of beautiful is something ridiculous cause you'll never can satisfy people's perception. So, why don't we put all the extra hard works to make Allah loves us. That's a perfect deed, right?!

InsyaAllah I'm reminding myself and my dear readers to check back ourselves again. What have we done with all of our time before? Struggling everything just for Dunya or struggling everything for Allah. Like what my sister in Islam said, "If we chase the World, we only get the World. But if we chase Hereafter, we get the best of both world."

InsyaAllah, come on, let's get ourselves to be beautiful in Jannah! ^_^

To be a Great Muslim is the way to be beautiful forever.

SOURCE

update.or.in.malay.we.say.hapdet.

2012-01-18T13:16:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum and a very good day to you!

First, let's begin with Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for everything that You did to me :)

Okey.

Last night just came back from Perlis for my family's funeral. Tok Cik Aishah to be precise. She passed away in the evening of Monday and buried on the morning of Tuesday. Yes, I'm not really close to her but whenever me and my family went to Perlis, we always visit her family. Her husband is actually my grandfather or Wan's youngest brother. So, the last time I met her was during the last weeks of December 2011. Yup, just 3 weeks ago, approximately.

It was the first time I visit a full funeral. From A to Z. A lot of things that I saw yesterday. From tears and sadness until being strong and calm. Yup, I could say that everyone's being strong and calm. Even when the part kissing the jenazah, all her family members were very strong holding their tears back. Behind those swollen red teary eyes, who knows how many walls of courage they had to put?

Even until last night, my minds kept playing images of her- talking about her condition, her children which clearly taken from my old visits memories. My mother once told me that if we are thinking about people who already dead, why don't we recite Surah Al-Fatihah for them.

Like what Makngah said yesterday,

"She already reach the next level of 'life' (- Alam Barzakh). We are the next ones-to-be. No one of us knows when is our time.."

Yup, simply put, we have to always remember death for the sake of our good in the Hereafter!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Move on..

InsyaAllah the flight has been confirmed. InsyaAllah on the 18th of February I'll fly to Auckland at 9.50pm. Seriously, I am very very very nervous to think of that. It's not just because I'm about to live in a whole new place and to study in a place that I have no experience, maybe because of I have not fully prepared for it. There's a lot of things that I worried, not just academically things but also the dakwah part. I admit there's many books that I haven't finish yet. To be honest, 7 months of holiday is not enough! huhu..

But, it's okay. I believe Allah had put the best things and preparation for the next life in Auckland. Mariam once told me that we need to prepare not only for the next 4 years in life (which is my oversea's life) but we need to be fully prepared for the next long-life after that; my whole life in Malaysia. I have to think about it to make sure what I aimed for happens which to be an improving true muslim everday :) insyaAllah..

Pray for me, readers. There's a little excitement there but major anxious that I feel! hoho :O

okey, peace out, people!!

midnight.plea.

2012-01-13T08:53:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

O Allah...
Forgive me for all the things that I did
Everyday, most of the time, I did mistakes
and even worse, I made the same mistakes again and again and again,

O Allah,
I know I am wrong, my sins are too much to handle.
I always waste my time..this is just one of the zillions sins that I have.

Please, Ya Allah,
Forgive all of my wrongdoings,
I am Your weakest slave,
I've sinned so much.
If I did something good today, it will never get a chance to cover my sins..
too much ya Allah, too much!

I know and believe You are the one who know exactly how much my sins are.
So, I'm begging you, my Lord..
please ya Allah, forgive me..
cause I know that the end of this life is the hereafter..
there are just two places to live there,
Heaven that is full with Your love,
and Hellfire that is full with fears.

And to make it worse,
I dont want to feel regret in the Hellfire,
cause I know the greatest pain in that place is not just the torments
but also, the humongous disappointment, that lasts not only in my Dunya-life

but all the way in my Hereafter-life..

which is endless.

O Allah,

forgive all my sins, my family's sins, my sisters', my friends',my teachers' and every Muslims’ in the world.

Because no one could makes us truly happy except You.

I'm begging, please receive this pray,

So that all of us will not feel terrible for ourselves,

for we believe that death can be at anytime,

in fact we didn't know if we still got time..

O my Rabb,

I only depend on You..

Please accept this prayer because I know You are my only God.

"And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins - and who can forgive sins except Allah ? - and [who] do not persist in what they have done while they know." (3:135)

just.me.and.you.

2012-01-10T07:54:00.000+08:00

"Open The Quran! Read The Quran! And let Allah speak to you!"

"Allah will do it for you..Allow His book to touch the heart..."

"And insyaAllah.."

"Allow Allah to talk to you..And He's talking to you, in the Qur'an"

"He's talking to you, and me and to every passerby in the street.. Let Him talk to you"

"And you will not be able to sit on your back side doing nothing..waiting the other people to come and make a mess of you."

"To use you as a punching bag, to use you as a doormat.. to make a mess on your head!"

"IS THAT YOUR ROLE? Allah says no.."

"And enough is Allah as a witness to this FACT..that He's going to make HIS DEEN to prevail..."

"It's a privilege Allah has given you.. Take it!"

[One of the Ahmad Deedat's Speeches]

Allahhh....

The.sweetest.words.of.the.day.

2012-01-08T19:16:00.000+08:00

Allah s.w.t berfirman, maksudnya :

"Wahai Musa, dahulu ketika dia melakukan maksiat dan derhaka kepada-Ku, Aku tidak pernah membuka aibnya. Apakah sekarang Aku akan membuka aibnya itu ketika dia telah kembali melakukan ketaatan kepada-Ku?"

If you want to know more about what exactly happened of what Allah said here, you can read the story of Prophet Musa a.s during the drought on the last page of Solusi magazine issue 39. ^_^

p/s: Allah is ssoo sweet T_T

The.Strength.of.The.Memories

2012-01-08T13:40:00.001+08:00

"The Strength of The Memories" by Silentdreamer.

The clock's ticking like a brave patriot,
loyally moves without any fear of what it faces through,
and I,
here I am,
lost in a place that I made myself for.

This new journey prepares me with so many waves to encounter,
so many gems that I should pick,
but yet,
I am lost in that state of the battle,
thinking of all of you, my dear sisters.

Remember this one day,
when everyone had our own bricks to break,
surely, we broke the bricks together.
I still remember clearly,
that days of us,
our days of struggling with many challenges,
we have everyone that multiplies our multiplied courage,
we even get stronger days by days.

And now,
I'm alone here,
in this solitary space,
fighting with my emotions to lift my own soul
and wasting a moment,
thinking of all of you to enrich the memories of us.

For this moment and later,
I believe,
deep inside in everyone of us,
having the same song of feeling that plays from time to time,
but never mind,
Allah is the best planner, right?

Oh my dear sisters,
shall we
strive together with our 'borrowed' souls for the sake of Allah..?

SOURCE

dream.on.

2012-01-01T01:10:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

So many days I left my blog without any post..so sorry. Actually, it was quite busy holiday I had plus, I dont bring laptop while I was on vacation. But now, Alhamdulillah, vacation done. Just got back from my kampong in Perlis a few hours ago and tonight, I have to repack my things to go to Bangi tomorrow for a program. InsyaAllah, I hope Allah will give me continuos reminders and new things to learn more and more about myself and Him. hee.

Yup, I thought I was not going to write anything but since I have the chance, why dont I just write something, right? :) But still, I have to write for a short post cause my repack is not done yet. There are 5 T-shirts that have to be settled on.

Actually, I really want to write about my vacation because there's so much new things I learnt and discovered, but I think it's not the time now. InsyaAllah I'll write later in one special post about that. Just a brief, I've been to Singapore for 2 days, then went to Indonesia for 6 days and after that headed to my favorite kampongs, both in Pahang and Perlis for about 6 days. and InsyaAllah tomorrow to Bangi for 2 days and last would be Gombak.

Well, it's already 2012. A new year. Alhamdulillah tonight Allah taught me about something.

Sometimes, I wonder how my years in New Zealand would be? Is it okay? Is it bad or better or even great? I dont know. But, when I see many of my friends are very very wayy better than themselves before in college, I started to feel excited to be apart of that incoming journey. From what I see, they'd become soo brave and strong as they learnt sooo much things. New things. Can I say that I am envy with them? Totally envy!!

But, I'm sure what they had learn are not something that easy peasy to face. It takes enormous courage, sacrifices, sweat, tears and I dont know if it has to do with blood (?) or maybe, it has? So good to see people are really working just for sake of serving Allah. They are like a child who started to run but me, still a baby trying to stand up with his own feet. T_T

InsyaAllah with new place, new people, new atmosphere, new you-name-it, I'll try my best to make sure that I become one of those Great Quranic Generation like those Companions of the Prophet S.A.W. I hope that Allah will keep reminding me and always forgive my tonnes and tonnes continuing sins. I dream to be one of Your syahid, Ya Allah. Allahumma fighlana bi khusnil khatimah! amin.

Now, I have to prepare as many as I can so that I can easily adapt with the new things in NZ. Then, I can start my engine as earlier as possible. The most important is to take care my iman and taqwa. InsyaAllah...

Everyday, I dream to be one of those Great Servants of Yours

and that everyday, I have to put the efforts to be what I always dream on

So, dream and work for it, bella!

Okay, really got to go!

Peace be upon you, readers :)

embarassed.

2011-12-17T23:04:00.001+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Warghhh! I felt so embarassed when I asked one of my friends who is superb in English. She helped me to correct grammar in my latest poem and it turned out to be ELEVEN grammatical error!! What can I say, my English is soo bad. Huhuhu. But never mind, I have to keep writing in English so then, I can improve it, right?

I have corrected the grammar in my latest poem but not yet in the video. I don't know how people react when they watch the video..-__-" They must be like, "Too many grammar error, CAN'T WATCH!" ;O

Uh-oh!

I'm so sorry for my grammar. Yup, I am weak at it. InsyaAllah I'll try to improve it. If you notice any grammar mistake in my blog, please correct it by putting your comment in the post. Thank you. May Allah repay you. ^_^

Peace out!

it.happens.in.a.blink.of.eye.

2011-12-16T01:29:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

Alhamdulillah, I'm finished making my first public video. Earlier, I thought I was not going to participate but I don't know why, three days ago, the organizer did say like he has not found the video that he waits for. So, I guess why don't I try to make a video? It does not give any harm to me, in fact if this video succeed to potray what I try to point out, it will be a good antidote for many people.

But, seriously, I just make it for the sake of reminding myself. I am really a total imperfect servant of Allah, so I need more and more reminder for myself. That's why I think of making the video.

I admit I did feel like "Can I make a video?" I doubted myself as I don't have any expertise on making good video. I just did based on the experience of watching others video. ( Fyi, I really like to watch video since I was in high school. Whenever there's a video to show in any occasion or during tazkirah etc, I am the one who really get excited and will try to find the best place so that I can watch the video with no disturbance at all..hehe). To me, talent does not come from people, it comes from you, yourself. What I meant here is, you cannot wait for people to say "Wow, you're such a talent in _____!" then you will start to become serious with that work. In my opinion, you are the one who determine either you have the talent or not.

Yes, in some situations, my opinion doesn't work. But, what I'm trying to say (especially to myself) is just do it. Only then, you know that you're good or not. (Remember that, bella! Remember!!)

InsyaAllah, I hope it will give benefits to people who watch it. You can watch it too. If you want to share with your friends, just share the video only, not the one who made the video. This is serious!! I am not doing any joke. Please don't tell others about the video maker, just tell about the video only. Okay??

The Traveller's Dream (is actually a video of my recent poem)

Peace be upon you. Thanks for reading. ^_^

it's.quite.hard.i.must.say.

2011-12-15T10:51:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

Kia ora!! (opps..looks like someone got so excited to go to nz..haha)

Okey, let me share something that I thought this morning. But before that, just want to share some of my updates.

Alhamdulillah, my visa is approved and my passport is already with the agent. InsyaAllah today my dad will be going to the agency to take my passport (with the visa on it) back. No worry anymore about passport! Thank you Allah. :) Before this, I'm worried a lot about my passport, to be precise not only me but my parents too.

The other one is MARA's agreement. Last friday, my mom helped to take the agreement from MARA office. So, I think I am the first one who get the agreement, many of my friends haven't received it yet (because posting can be soo "fast"). I need to finish it before next monday as I have to send it to MARA on that day. Actually, the deadline is on the 23rd December but insyaAllah, I'll not be here in my country for a period of time. That's why I need to send it earlier to MARA. Or else, I dont know what to say. Just hope and pray that I can make it on time. huhu..

Let's move on, shall we?

About the thing that I want to share is actually about myself, I mean my experience. Frankly, I was (and still a little a bit, am) a person who really cannot receive any critics anything about me like my work (especially), my performance in sport, my idea, my appearance and whatever you think about me. Yup, I used to be so conservative when it comes to point out comments/idea and to receive it. I can be soo disappointed and frustrated if someone critics me or says that I'm not good enough for this and that. Such a spoiled kid, right? There are many cases of my life where I mad at someone who likes to critics what/who I adore. To me, if you dont like it, just go away and get something that you like. fullstop.

Somehow, I feel like the people who critics me are not appreciates my effort at all.

Sincerely, this attitude is not good. People can give critics just to help me to improve what I did. Even, the critics from your enemy is can be helpful than the 'good' comments from your friends give just for the sake of afraid of making you unhappy. Yeah, I heard a motivator said *not the exact meaning*, "Do listen to your enemy cause they really see your weaknesses. So take it and improve that there shall be no weaknesses he will mention in the future". It's a good thing for you, huh?!

My problem is because whenever, I get critics, I am too focus on my weakness that I didn't see beyond that which is there is a weakness to improve!

But, to receive the critics takes a lot of courage and professionalism for me to not get emotional for it. That's what happen to me. I simply take the critics to my heart. T_T.

InsyaAllah, from now, I'll try my best to receive critics with no heart feeling and use it to improve my quality. I know it'll be so hard for me to do this, but for the sake of Allah, insyaAllah I try. Pray the best for me!

Thanks for reading. May Allah bless you.

the.traveller's.dream.

2011-12-13T16:26:00.001+08:00

"The Traveller's Dream" by silentdreamer

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

this is my dream
this is what i want to be

One day,
I realized of how beautiful it is to be one of Your slave!
I clearly see what a magnificent life when I get to know deeply of who You are
that sense of belonging flushed away all the 'solitary' air
I begin to breathe with a new fresh air
and until now, Alhamdulillah, I still breathe in that 'slavery' air.

But,
whenever I walk through any house,
sometimes the air got so thin that I couldn't bare to breathe
sometimes the air got so fresher that I wish to spend there forever

Seeing the house that full of hatred, misunderstanding and false attachment
really breaks my heart to many pieces.
I cried and at the same time, talking to myself,
"There's so many things that I have to do! I have to keep pushing myself hard, I really need to work hard as the air of 'slavery' is getting thin. Oh, how I wish that they could feel the bless of breathing the 'slavery' air!"

Whenever I crossed the house that full of the determined yet humble fighters
I will close my eyes, deeply breathing the essence of their fresher 'slavery' air
Inside, I vow to myself that one day, I want to become one of them.
They are the ones who are not afraid of anything except Allah
They are the ones who will do whatever it needs to please Allah
They are the ones who are not easily give up in the road of Allah
These are the people that Allah loves eternally

The warriors that will fight with their heart loudly say;
"I HAVE COME TO FREE YOU FROM THE SERVITUDE OF THE SLAVE AND BRING YOU TO THE SERVITUDE OF THE LORD OF THE SLAVE".

this is my dream
this is what i want to be.

these.coming.days.

2011-12-12T11:01:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

Alhamdulillah now, im getting better emotionally and spiritually. spending days with the loved ones is one of the best gifts in my life. although something that i dont please happened, insyaAllah Allah knows the best and He is the best planner. Allah did say in At-Taghabun, verse 11 that every bad things happened is with the permission of Allah. Allah loves cares aut His slaves, so He will not pemits anything that will destroy us.

So, I just wanna share sort of my resolution for every day in my life. because I want to improve myself to become a very super duper great muslim, so i need to do this, insyaAllah.

As Yahya bin Muaz advised;

BERJIHADLAH MELAWAN NAFSU DENGAN RIADAH (LATIHAN ROHANI). latihan rohani ada empat perkara :

1. eat little
2. short sleep
3. talk when you need to talk, not when you want to talk
4. being patient with others

these things that i really need to instill and make it become apart of me. all the best! fightin! :

if.only.you.understand.

2011-12-11T08:10:00.001+08:00

I want to write this for this particular person but I knew she didnt know about this.

I just hope that Allah can cross what i'd written in her mind.

actually, i felt so terrible that i decide not to go. i know all of you have wogthrking hard for it but sadly, i cannot come. it was a devastating to do this. i know how it feels when people just dissapoint for doing what i did.

if only you understand why i cannot come,

if only you are one of my therapist friends,

this terrible guilty feeling will not keep juggling inside my heart and my mind.

seriously, i am so sorry for dissapointing you but the most unbearabke guilt that i cannot run away from it is the guilt for myself. i knew i wronged myself if i cannot go there. but whzt can i do?

i cannot the blame the 9ne who creates this plot of my life..

i cannot blame my destiny for i am the one who decide this..

i only have Allah with me and i surrender to Him, begging Him, to make you think somehow of what my life is now.

insyaAllah bella, our life is not about people, but is about Allah..

i.really.need.to.post.this.

2011-12-11T07:21:00.001+08:00

to.not.take.it.away.

2011-11-25T18:45:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Few days before, there were so many things happened and suddenly my positive spirit is gone and my self-esteem became very very very low. I easily get sad and dissapointed with little petty things like making small mistakes (that people don't much care..just at that time) but I got soo much weak inside that I'm making myself content with that unhappy feeling all the time. YES, ALL THE TIME!

To be in that state is soo hard and painful. You can tell how mess I am from the previous post. I tried so much things, I keep on telling myself to lift up myself, hold on and doing many things to make me strong inside. I even bought a self-enrichment book just to make me get that strength. I was spiritually-exhausted. Being weak inside (especially) really tear me up.

Before this, I thought that the external factors (the people, works, etc.) are the roots of this nightmare. But I was wrong. It is my heart or precisely, my iman. That particular iman that weakens my inner strength. Today, Allah gave me a chance to realize it. Alhamdulillah Ya Allah!! It was when I watch a video of a former Filipina celebrity that embraced Islam. She talked about how lucky she was and she felt soo blessed to become a muslim. She feels Allah in her life!

That time, I knew it. Sincerely, I can say, my problem is I was not close to Allah. That feeling of bless to be a slave of Allah was not there in my heart. I'll never find peace and calm if Allah is not in my heart. It was such a big call for me. To keep on and maintain the divine feeling is so hard to do but I have to, just to make sure I find the TRUE HAPPINESS in my life. I know that there will be moments like this appear again in my life. So, I just have to put the efforts to maintain the feeling stay safely here, in my heart.

That feeling of warmth. The touch of Allah's love. I remember people said, it is hard to feel the Allah's love but once you feel it, you'll never want to let it go. The feeling of lucky to be the person among billions of people to be selected by Allah as His slave. There was an analogy that was given by one, if A is a student of Miss Angry, you'll imagine of how many times she was being scolded by his/her teacher. She even get punishment everyday if she did a mistake.

But we, Muslims, we are the slaves of Allah. We belong to Allah, and Allah is Ar-Rahman (The Most Gracious) and Ar-Rahim (The Most Merciful). We'll absolutely know that we will get many nikmat (rewards) from Allah in our life. Indeed, it is absolutely correct!

Whenever I feel sad, I need to feel this feeling. In fact, I need it every seconds in my life. To feel the essence of Great Happiness. To know that Allah is always there for me. I really pray that Allah forgives all our sins and make us the people who succeed in this World and Hereafter. Aminn ya Rabbal 'Alamin.

Thanks very much for your time and peace be upon you.

I love to hear this song over and over again. If you free, do listen :)

monologue-ing.myself.

2011-11-24T12:15:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

What can I say? How do I put this? Arghhh..I dont know. Seriously, I feel like crying. T_T

Can I just say it?

Now, I am not satisfied at all with many things happened. Physically, everything is in good position but it's just in my heart and my mind. Both in such a mess! Can I say that I don't have my own time and I blame for everyone around me? Can I blame them for making me busy most of the time until I don't have my pleasure time? Yup, I'm not satisfied at all with all the feedbacks that I got. You know it's like you made a really special, mouth-watering chocolate moist cake to give to someone but that person ruins it by saying it tastes worse!!

ARGHHHHH!!! (so sorry for being soo emo but i have to)

yes, I did mistakes! yes, I made it hard for everyone!! but somehow, I cant bare to receive all the faults. I'm trying okay, I'm trying!! Does it too bad that I just can't get any good words?

Okay, stop right there, bella!!

Stop at that particular last sentence!!

What were you saying? You want to hear good words? You want people to give you compliments? That is your problem!!

I know that you were trying to do the work well done. I know you put soo much thoughts and efforts on these things but if you really just do it for the sake of wanting to get compliment, well, just don't do it, okay!!

Don't do it for that! Just DON'T!

You will keep tiring yourself up again and again and over again like the stupid cycle! Please bella, pleaseee.! Please restart or change yourself. You're making yourself harder and harder if you were working like this.

"Working to please God opens all the beautiful roads for you and leads you through to Paradise. Working to please people isn't but a dead end" - IslamPlusQuotes

Take that, bella! Really, you have to always, always and always reminding yourself of your intention! Work for the sake of Allah! InsyaAllah, Allah will give the best chance to make you realize how good you are..aminn.

note 1 : my pleasure time is not a time to get myself relax but to get myself updated doing my own works (ignore it).

these.words.can.never.get.old.

2011-11-19T02:34:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

I'm writing this just because to fill the "6 mins left" downloading ProductiveMuslim's interview with Baba Ali. Whoa! Can't wait to hear it again and again. I heard the interview before this but got stuck at i-dont-know-which minutes. So, I took a decision to download it. hee (whatever)

Okay, move on.

Now, I actually want to say a big-huge-enormous THANK YOU to my grandparents for helping us, taking care of us, my siblings. Since my parents are away to perform their Hajj, it is my Tok and Wan who are sacrificing themselves, staying here in my house for about 3 weeks. I know it's hard for them to left all their things in kampong. You know, their fish pond, cat, rubber, home especially, etc.

Thank you soooo much, Tok and Wan. I hope that both of you enjoy staying here for 3 weeks. Seeing both of you happy together really made me happy. Especially when Tok is teasing Wan with his jokes. The great feeling when I see the old cute couple smile at each other is rather unexplained. A big joy in my heart!

Thank you soo much for being patient with all of us, especially me who's sometimes can be soo lazy yet soo rajin. hee~~

Alhamdulillah Ya Allah for a great family. Paksu's family is very great helpers for us. I don't know how many ringgits that they pay in our behalf. Usually when we give the money, they automatically reject it or whenever I asked how much is it, paksu will say, "It's okay" or "It's free..". I deeply know that it is a false truth.

It is indeed an honor to have a great family like all of you, my family! I am grateful and highly thanks to Allah for giving me such a bunch of good people to be with. It is a great blessing to me! ALHAMDULILLAH!!

SOURCE

Okay, it's already 3 am in the morning. Have to sleep now. May Allah bless all of us :) and peace be upon you, my readers!!

The.Great.Coolies.

2011-11-16T22:46:00.001+08:00

"The Great Coolies" by Silentdreamer

Relieved.
Is that what I feel?
Lucky.
Is that what I thought?

This is all just a starting point.
A point where reality begins.
A point that starts all the hardships, trials and tribulations.
Looking back the timeline of this fragile place,
they already had their own.
Each one of them faced it.
Each one of them had their own story of it.
Now, it's about my turn...

We think that we're safe,
but we're not!
Cause at this point,
there's a huge load that we need to work on.
We're now the coolies,
the great coolies!

You, I, We,
who realized this reality,
has this essential need,
to break all the sweats we have,
to gather all the strength we have,
for we are the great coolies,
who spread the divine love messages to the whole world.

H.E.L.P

2011-11-10T21:47:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

Now, I'm seriously looking for my favourite TV show, "AlQuran The New Dawn" on TV Al-Hijrah online. Sometimes, I missed to watch the program..huhu. Sadly, I cant find the video online (on Youtube) with english subtitle.

I need to find it with English subtitle or else, I have to learn Arabic but I don't know if I can get it in this small period...erk?

Anyone, who have it or who are expert in Arabic, please do tell me!! I really really really want you to sub the video >_<

JazakAllahu khair :)

In.The.Middle.of.Know-Where.

2011-11-10T08:33:00.001+08:00

I have this goal that I desire for
I have the examples that I oath to become
I have the need to be what I want
Yes, I have it!

Beautifully,
I have the pressures that turn me down
I have the wall that blocks my strength
I have the people who blindly hurts
Yes, I have all these!

Eagerly,
I see the goal,
I try to touch it,
I try to reach it,
to feel the essence of love,
the true-est love.

Deep inside,
I hunger for it,
I'm dying for it.
Only You who understands the anticipation.

Please help me,
give me the strength,
to make me soar,
only to be what I'm longing for.

what.does.it.takes.to.be.mature?

2011-11-01T00:27:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

A little bit worry has begin. Nope. It increases minutes by minutes. Arghh! I don't know why suddenly I feel so anxious and nervous. Before this when my parents were away to perform umrah, I didn't feel like this.

I dont want to say a thing about this. But, I really need your prayers to pray me and my siblings to be always in safety and healthy.

InsyaAllah..Allah is always with us. >_<

My mom's advice on fb ;

Doakan kami ye..buat anak2ku...F**** N****** & A*** R*****..sayang mama jaga adik ye..dia kecik lagi ..jgn biarkn adik nangis..tksh sayang!

Salam sayang...semasa mama & ayah mengerjakan haji nanti jaga adik2 baik2 ye..jaga kesihatan, jaga tuk &wan, drive carefully..take care sayang.

O Allah, please make everything goes smoothly..aminn :)

very.short.story.about.miss.B

2011-10-30T23:00:00.001+08:00

B is having her favourite fried chicken while her family members prefer rice as their dinner. Actually, B wants to have rice too but she had to take the chicken to make sure that she can watch her favourite TV show, Law Kana Bainana at TV AlHijrah. She really needs to watch it as she feels her 'iman' is slowly weakens day by day. She thought that if she watch the show, she can have something that can somehow heal her 'heart'. She is really looking for the healer of her 'iman'.

B is focusing on her TV, did not bother at all about her family members downstairs, taking out the dishes to be put in the dining mengkuang mat. Yes, B is in the upstairs, eating fried chicken while watching the show while her family members hungrily preparing the mat. Very bad girl! But she thought she's not doing any mistake cause her intention is to heal her iman. She really needs to increase her iman!

Her father called her, repeatedly, to make her to go to the kitchen to help her family members with the dinner. She answers with her mouth, not with her mind. Her mind is too focus on the TV show which now showing about 'Al-Itsar' (self-less).

"Oh man, I really need to watch this! My 'iman' needs to be healed!", sighed B as she making her way to join her family member to finish the preparation so that majority of the family can have dinner. She cut the papaya with her unsatisfied feeling. "Great! Now, I just missed a great chance to strengthen my iman..", said B inside her painful heart. Only Allah knows how sad she is.

But, only Allah knows what happen. Even B too, did not realize what happened. She didn't notice at all how irony things can get. How irony Allah can do things for her. She's so immersed in her feeling that she cannot relate her situation with the TV show. The relation between Al-Itsar (self-less) and her situation. If she knows, she wouldn't feel that depressed..

SOURCE

1st.timer.

2011-10-29T01:02:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Alhamdulillah for everything, Ya Allah!! ^_^

Alright, I just want to write something that I've done that I was so proud of. Maybe, if you read this, you will feel like, "Is that just it?? Duhh! -.-". But I don't care, I want it to...hehe.

So, it happened 2 days ago, when me, mariam and wani have a girls-day-out! Although it's tired, alhamdulillah it taught me of many things. Whenever we were talking in the car, there's a always a good thing that I learnt. Seriously, I don't lie. From management issues to car problem to family knowledge etc etc. It was a great day to spend with them. The day-out started from my former college in Banting, then went straight to Shah Alam (INTEC's hostel) and after that, we headed to Sunway.

Well, the most important thing to me here is, finally I have a full confidence to drive car anywhere (insyaAllah). To speak the truth, I was soo freaked-out when I knew that I have to drive to places that I've never been to. Fyi, I am a green person. So, I dont like to do things that I never ever prepared. Yup, since I was a kid until I am a grown-up, my family taught me to do a slight preparation (at least) whenever I want to do something. In case if I want to go somewhere alone/or with friends, my dad will show me the routes and (sometimes) after that, he'll let me drive to make sure I'm really remember the routes. Sounds freaky rite? haha..but it's the truth.

The night before the day-out, I slept at 3 am just to google the maps. I did note every directions that Mr. Google said and also, draw the maps roughly. Seriously, I never have been this scarred because I cannot imagine at all the road trip. Even playing netball in final or answering IB exam can never be so much scarry. Maybe, because I cannot get the rough idea about what's going to happen.

And because of that, I really really depends on Allah. Immediately after I went out from the gate house I pray hardly to Allah. Every single du'a that came in my mind, I recited it loudly and I also restated and restated my intention. Yup, that what was happen while I'm all alone in my car. Over and over again.

Alhamdulillah, Allah is the best planner. The day went out smoothly (in my own definition where we were not involved in any accident, naudzubillah or the car broke down). If we were lost (that is the most frequent thing happened) , we stopped and asked people. One time, we had no clue how to go to Sunway from Shah Alam and we were really not sure either we were on the Federal Highway or else. So, we stopped at the petrol station and my co-driver, wani, asked the workers there but no one knew. Alhamdulillah, Allah gave His help through a Chinese uncle who willingly volunteered to take us to Sunway. We wrote the number plat but I've left it somewhere, so, sadly I cannot tell the number plat. Sorry.

Big thanks to this Chinese uncle for helping. What can I say from here, do not hesistate to ask, and dont you ever doubt Allah's plan. InsyaAllah if we are really want to catch His blessings, then He will give it to us. It is just a matter of effort. (Allah doesnt need our effort, we are who really need the effort..you know what I'm saying?)

InsyaAllah, that's all to share. I want to record.

26/10/2011 --> Cheras - Banting - Shah Alam - Sunway - Cheras in 9 hours with a blurry directions!

Opps..forgot to mention. Big thanks to my parents for letting me to go out and lend me the car. Jazakallah n jazakillahu khair :) also to Mariam and Wani for making the day went out smoothly. and especially BIG BIG BIG ALHAMDULILLAH to Allah ^_^

Okay, that's it. Thanks for reading!

Peace be upon you. ^_^

the.short.one.

2011-10-25T00:11:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

InsyaAllah, I just want to make a short post for one of my previous junior in KMB whom had passed away yesterday at 2.50 am because of brain tumour. I pray to Allah that his soul rests in peace and always be in the love of Allah..amin.

AL-FATIHAH.

what can i say, a death, is indeed is a great reminder to me. dont know why, but the same feeling came. this strong feeling. reminiscing this

Ya Allah, ampunkanlah dosa-dosa umat Islam di seluruh dunia samada hidup mahupun yang telah pergi.
Aminn.

talk.about.anger.

2011-10-24T17:39:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Sebelum itu, syukur sangat-sangat kepada Allah sebab sentiasa menolong hambaNya yang lemah ini. Memberi segala macam nikmat yang memang tak terhingga banyaknya dalam segala macam bentuk.

ALHAMDULILLAH!

Okay, kembali kepada topik hari ini.

Kalau anda adalah seorang yang mengenali aku dari kecil, anda akan tahu betapa pemarahnya aku ini. Tak tahulah mungkin penyakit keturunan atau pun pengaruh persekitaran..aku pun tak pasti. Bila ingat balik waktu kecik-kecik, memang banyak kenangan menjadi seorang yang pemarah ini (huhu).

Pernah sekali waktu darjah 6, aku tak tahan dengan kebisingan seorang hamba Allah yang berlainan jantina ini. Setelah ditegur beberapa kali dan kelihatannya hamba Allah ini memang jenis tak makan saman (hanya makan makanan halal), lalu, dengan bayaran percuma, aku telah memberi sebuah hadiah yang paling bermakna - satu tumbukan yang halus - cukup membuatkan bawah matanya lebam membiru. Terus senyap di situ sehingga beberapa hari tidak muncul di kelas. (Takut tak?)

Tapi, aku bukanlah seorang pembuli waktu kecik-kecik, cuma aku akan bertindak seperti itu bila ada orang yang tak faham bahasa Malaysia, dengan sukarela, mencari pasal dengan aku atau kawan-kawan aku sehingga perlu berinteraksi dalam bahasa 'lain'.

Salah satu sebab aku boleh bertindak sebegitu rupa bukanlah kerana aku suka tapi kalau anda berada di tempat saya dan berhadapan dengan budak-budak yang normal tapi cacat perangainya, anda perlu mengambil tindakan sebegitu supaya tiada siapa yang akan berani membuli anda. Iya, itulah apa yang aku fikir waktu aku kecik-kecik dulu.

Teruk bukan sifat pemarah aku dari kecik. Aku memang tak berbangga langsung dengan sifat yang aku ada ini sebab sampai sekarang, 20 tahun hidup di dunia, aku tak pandai nak 'cater' kemarahan aku nih.

Sekarang ini, hanya ada 2 makhluk berlainan jantina yang masih pandai membuatkan kemarahan aku meluap-luap. Oh, jangan risau bukanlah anda orangnya (jika anda perempuan) kerana kawan-kawan perempuan aku memang semuanya baik-baik belaka dan tak pernah membuatkan aku macam ini. 2 makhluk ini memang pandai bermain api dengan aku. Sampai satu tahap, aku rasa nak terkam makhluk-makhluk ini lalu mencincang mereka kepada 100 bahagian. (Dapat faham macamana kemarahan aku terhadap mereka, bukan?)

Tapi, sejak aku mula kenal Islam dengan hati, aku rasa sangat sedih dengan kelemahan aku ini. Lagi-lagi, bila teringatkan satu kisah yang aku angkat sebagai "KISAH PALING OSEM" pernah aku dengar (semasa di kolej aku dulu). Sewaktu peperangan (tak ingat perang apa), Saidina Umar sedang bertempur, berlawan pedang dengan seorang tentera kafir. Saidina Umar berjaya melemahkan lawannya dan ingin menumpaskan tentera kafir tersebut. Tatkala pedangnya berada di leher musuh itu, tentera kafir itu, meludah ke arah Saidina Umar.

Kalaulah aku yang pemarah tahap dewa berada di tempat Saidina Umar, anda boleh agak macamana aku akan kerjakan tentera kafir itu bukan? Pasti akan aku cincang tentera kafir itu lebih teruk dari 2 makhluk di atas. Tapi, nama pun Saidina Umar, beliau memang seorang yang hebat iman dan taqwanya. Anda tahu apa yang dibuat oleh Saidina Umar terhadap tentera kafir itu?

Jeng..jeng..jeng..

(Ohh, aku memang suka buat unsur saspen..hahaa)

....

Beliau lantas pergi dari tentera tersebut dan mengambil keputusan untuk tidak membunuhnya. Hahaha..pelik bukan? (angkat kening berirama)

Lantas, tentera kafir itu kehairanan lalu bertanya pada Saidina Umar kenapa beliau berbuat sesuatu perbuatan yang pelik bin ajaib ini. Kata Saidina Umar,

"Jika aku membunuhmu sekarang, aku membunuhmu atas dasar marah. Bukan kerana Allah SWT"

SANGAT HEBAAAATTTTTT, KANNN???!!!!!

Itulah kan, sampai hari ini, aku hanya mampu menahan marah dengan berdiam sahaja dan kalau 2 makhluk ini membuatkan aku marah, mesti aku tahan dan diam membawa diri tapi dalam hati sakiiittt sangat sampai akhirnya, aku pun menghamburkan kemarahan aku dengan menangis. Loser.

Serius, aku nak sangattttt jadi seperti golongan orang-orang yang bertaqwa seperti Allah kata;

".....dan orang-orang yang menelan kemarahannya dan memaafkan (kesalahan) orang lain. Dan Allah mencintai orang yang berbuat kebaikan" (3:134)

(kalau anda tengok lecture ustaz nouman ali khan tentang "The People of Taqwa", memang best dia eloberate ayat2 ini..memang kena tengokkkk!!)

Ye. Menelan kemarahan dan memaafkan kesalahan orang lain secara percuma. Itu yang saya mahukannn!

Ada satu hari tu, aku ada tengok cerita kegemaranku di TV AlHijrah dan ustaz berbahasa arab tu bercerita tentang sebuah hadis ;

Seorang sahabat Nabi saw telah memaki syaitan apabila binatang tunggangannya terjatuh.

Nabi saw bersabda:

“Janganlah kamu berkata, 'Celaka syaitan.' Kalau kamu berkata begitu syaitan akan berasa besar diri seperti rumah dan berkata 'mendapat kekuatanku.', tapi hendaklah kamu berkata 'Bismillah [Dengan nama Allah]'. Apabila berkata sedemikian syaitan akan jadi hina sehingga seperti lalat.”

[Hadis Abu Daud]

Tepat sekali! Kemarahan kita hanyalah membuatkan syaitan bertambah gumbira dan naudzubillah, aku sedaya-upaya tak nak membuatkan 'musuh yang nyata' ni gembira dengan apa cara sekalipun. HIYAKKK!!

InsyaAllah, kita cuba bersama-sama untuk menelan kemarahan dan memaafkan kesalahan orang dengan percuma. Mujahadah melawan nafsu amarah!!! INSYAALLAH~~

Seperti kata salah seorang watak dalam cerita-2-jam kegemaran aku;

"Patience doesn't mean to bow, but to struggle"

[script from : 'Valley of the Wolves : Iraq']

TERIMA KASIH KERANA MEMBACA.

NAH, SENYUMAN IKHLAS BUAT ANDA

--> V(^___^)V

p/s: pertama kali aku menulis begini panjang..cipta rekod owhh!!

p/s.1 : sumber yang digunakan : sumber 1 ; sumber 2.

p/s.2 : aku mengaku, penulisan aku memang senang terpengaruh. huuu~

He.who.holds.the.hearts.

2011-10-20T09:38:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum....

First of all, I would like to express my gratitude to Allah for everything He will do/does/did.

ALHAMDULILLAH ALHAMDULILLAH ALHAMDULILLAH!

Now, I just want to share a story and it happened when I was in the first year in my college. At that time, we're in the prayer room and one of my seniors told me and others about her experience in that morning. She had an interview with a person from The University of Manchester, if I'm not mistaken and that person is an English man. I was so excited to know about her story especially at that time, I just entered my college and I was one of the people who really bad in speaking English, especially with English-native-speakers! In my first year, English class was one of the reasons I stress so much because I cannot speak fluently like others.

Deep in my heart, I asked myself, "How can she do it? I mean, if I'm in her shoes, I don't think it will going to be smooth.." So, the senior told us, yup, she did feel nervous and scarred at first but it is her father who gave her a very good advice that made she felt soo confident that day. Before the interview started, she called her father first and asked him to pray for her. The words that her father told her are sooo meaningful that I remember clearly until now. Her father said to her that do not feel nervous or scarred because the interviewer is just a human and Allah who holds his heart. If Allah wants to make the interviewer happy, he will be happy and if Allah want to make him dislike what you've said, then he will feel so. So, just pray to Allah, insyaAllah everything will be fine.

I really love the advice!!

What happened yesterday really made me think about this story. Yup, Allah holds everyone's heart!! If you ask someone anything, just pray to Allah, insyaAllah Allah helps you through that person. :D

SOURCE

peace be upon you!! ^_^

A.Letter.To.My.Master.

2011-10-19T10:30:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum...
.
.
.
.
.
.
To my Master,

Please..
Help me..
Help me to unchain all these steels that trapped me.
I'm stuck here, helplessly.
Not knowing what to do.
I tried to be fair to everyone,
but I didn't know that it is eating me up inside.
I want to go...
but I can't.
I want to answer my Call,
but they stopped me.
Like a fire, being stuck in a sand trap.

I was hoping "the goods" to understand me,
but it shows no sign of it.
O my Master,
I know, they are not the guilty ones,
cause everyone has different eyes.
So,
I just put on my radiant mask,
behind this steel bars,
praying deeply, you, my Master
to SAVE ME.

Yours truly,
Your fragile slave.

o.u.c.h & r.a.n.d.o.m

2011-10-17T01:30:00.004+08:00

"We are such multi-faceted people with unique talents and skills that, theoretically, we should be able to connect with a large, diverse population of people. But instead of making the first move, we sit and wait for “the other” to come to us. And when they don’t, we hide behind this fact and blame them for their lack of willingness to learn about our religion. " - source

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"Gagahkanlah minda dan jiwa untuk terbang bebas laksana burung walau jasad terpenjara di rumah batu." - Anisa

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Allah doesn't need us anyways but we need Allah. Islam itu pasti tertegak. Sesungguhnya tiada yang lagi tinggi dari Islam. Tertegaknya islam itu bukanlah bergantung pada sejauh mana sumbangan kita. Kalau kita tak contribute pun, fine takpe. Allah akan gantikan kita dengan orang lain yang lebih baik. Dan islam itu pasti jua akan tertegak. So where do we stand? Let's reflect and insyaAllah let us imporve towards the betterment ♥ - Liyana Athirah

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Tapi malangnya, jiwa dan perasaan kita tidak bersedia untuk menghadapi cabaran dan mehnah yang datang dalam satu pakej dengan jalan dakwah ini. Ramai antara kita yang mudah berasa tertekan, bawah, sedih dan susah hati apabila masalah-masalah yang 'common' dalam jalan dakwah ini, seperti masalah ukhuwwah, masalah menyusun gerak kerja, masalah gagal menDF hadek-hadek dan sebagainya, terkena pada batang hidung kita. Akibatnya? Jadilah kita lembab dan lemau di atas jalan ini, kerana selalu kechiwa dan berasa terabai. Tidak kurang juga yang lari terus dari jalan ini, semata-mata merasakan diri mereka tidak diberikan perhatian yang sewajarnya. Ala-ala kurang kasih-sayang gitu.

Kita tidak enjoy dan tidak ada passion dalam melaksanakan tugas yang paling mulia ini. Aduhai.

-source-

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konklusinya :

Aku tak nak jadi lemah dan lemau!! Aku nak jadi seorg yg passionate dgn apa yg aku mahu lakukan. Hoyeahhh~~!

trying.to.be.calm.

2011-10-14T17:53:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

It's been such a roller coaster week..very emotional week, i can say. I dont know, maybe because of my unbalanced hormones and things happened in this week. yahh, i guess every places has its own obstacles right.? even me, who is just sitting in house for months had my own obstacles.

what happened needs me to be husnuszhon (positive-thinking)

what happened needs me to be patience

what happened needs me to be fair

what happened needs me to be struggle

Everything that Allah made for us is really special, you know. It makes us to stop for a while and think back again what is the purpose I am here.

What happened really makes me missed Dhuha time in my college. Although the surau is full with many students, I always have my own space, being alone with Him, talking to Him, just me and The Creator. Yup, I really really miss that. (especially in this ABC period)

I can feel peace at that time. I feel that I've been heard by Him. It's like a conversation happens but with one side only. What a dating!!

I guess that is what makes every believers (Mu'minin) keep going in this road. To the next final destination. Meeting Him in real. (take a deep breathhhh...)

One more thing, it such a long time I've been separated from nature. Nature that always kept me thinking about Him. Wind. Air. Trees. Sky. Leaves. Grass. Hope to be alone with them. Just like in the old days, walking alone to the class, seeing all those Allah's creation is just enough to make me reflect and smile.

Here, I trapped in the house with no space close to the nature. They don't allowed me to go outside alone. I understand why they said so. Never mind. It's just about the time. InsyaAllah I'll be getting all that back when I start my university life..aminn.

O Allah, please let me drown in your Words especially the description of Your Jannah. I really want to be there with Your blessings.!

It's okay to be hard here in the World, friends. InsyaAllah, in the Hereafter, all of us will happily ever after there.

Peace be upon You, readers ^_^

SOURCE

i'm.such.a.weak.person!

2011-10-03T15:21:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

That's why I think about myself today. arghh! I'm such a weak person. I feel like crying now but no, I will not! This problem is torturing me like hell and yah, I know there's something that Allah wants to teach me behind this matter. It already reaches 3 weeks now and it has not been solved yet!! Such a perfect problem sounds to me!

O Allah, I have been patient for 3 weeks and I will always be patient for whatever You gave to me. I'm not complaining what You gave me but I cannot control this feeling. 3 weeks is such a lonngg time! Dear Bella, please hold yourself a little bit stronger. Yes, I will!!

I dont know. Astghfirullahal 'Azimmm...

Maybe there's something wrong with me! Even, being alone in this house without any external disturbance but still I cannot take care of my iman with a good care. Allah always has His own plan to make us better days by days. I believe in that!!

Bella, keep waiting and keep being patient with the problem.

Only Allah who can solve the matter. No one else can. and I pray hard to Allah..please ya Allah!! Help me solve this problem! Sometimes, I just cant make myself comfortable with what happened. T_T

How I wish I can be a strong person like the Prophet S.A.W!!! >_<

"Apabila hidupmu tidak ceria di pagi hari… Mungkin kerana dosa, jadi bertaubatlah.

Mungkin kerana kurang memberi… jadilah berilah salam dan senyuman.

Mungkin kerana marah.. jadi berilah kemaafan. Mungkin kerana lalai… Berzikirlah.

Mungkin kerana takut, bimbang… Berdoa dan berzikirlah. Carilah teman dalam hidup, sebaik2 teman adalah Al Quran."

[ Pahrol Mohd Juoi ]

T_T

pathetic.

2011-09-30T10:24:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Tak tahula kenapa tapi sejak semalam, aku asyik rasa sedih je. Even now, sad background song is playing in my mind over and over again. It's not that I'm sad cause I missed my friends or I regret of being unemployed, but actually, there is some situation that I had to accept which is sooo pathetic.

I'm not actually complaining for what Allah gave me but I'm writing this just to, you know, think again, to clear out my mind. I am always a dreamer. A person with a big dream and also a big fat day-dreamer. Yeah, I know it's not good to be a day-dreamer.

So, I'm having this dream to attract people into Islam. There was one time I thought like how I wish to be a famous person, then it was easy, we dont have to put a lot of effort to attract people learn about Islam. Somehow, from one corner of my mind, there's a thought of hey, when you are famous, you need to watch what you've said about Islam because if you accidentally say something wrong about Islam, you'll be in BIG trouble here in this world and hereafter. Plus, you have to watch what you're saying to take care of everyone's heart. and it can take us to a condition where our writing become not 100% pure from our heart.

Whoa!! That is totally madness and sadness.

When I reflect, yahh only Allah knows what the best situation that suits me the most. You dont have to whining about your state of condition because you'll never know whether it's good or bad for you. Only Allah knows.

Last but not least, THANK YOU ALLAH! for everything :)

Okay, I have to go now. There's a sharing moment coming up!

Jaa ne~~ peace be upon you, readers! ^_^

between.the.line.

2011-09-29T17:57:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

4 hours ago, something terrible came up and I feel so trapped with it until I decided to just stop for a while from what I've been doing. Put all things aside and lay down on my favourite chocolate sofa. Thinking...thinking...and thinking. Really, I was thinking just to find something positive from this matter. Although it really get me tangled, I have to.. because I believe what happens has its own silver lining. Allah made that happen especially for me and I dont think that happen to my other friends who are going to NZ.

Yup, I did found the positive thoughts but in just on my mind. Deeply inside, only Allah knows how do I felt. So, I just lay down and take a rest while the time flows like a speed racer.

Then, after I finished my prayer, I took a fold of paper from my jar of reminder (previous post) and wondering what Allah wanted to say to me. Then, the paper showed a sentence which says;

"And Allah wants to lighten for you [your difficulties]; and mankind was created weak." (4 :28)

I cried happily even though the problem has not been solved yet. But I cried cause I feel blessed and lucky to have a chance to feel His love. to feel Allah's love. At that time, I knew that all the positive things that I have noted before is TRUE.

and ONE OF THE THINGS that is soooo TRUE is:

ALLAH WANTS TO TEACH ME SOMETHING FROM THIS PROBLEM :)

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah T_T

drowning.in.guilt.

2011-09-28T12:18:00.002+08:00

assalamualaikum...

seriously now, i feel guilty to Allah. i know it is not a good thing to do. arghh!! but at the same time, i really dont want to make the person feel shame or dissapointed. i know and i'm trying to stop it but it just keep going and going cause that person always try to lengthen it. *sigh*

Ya Allah, please help me through this. I dont want to get any "liitle heart"-disease.

okay, if you're reading this, please understand me and dont get me wrong! we know our limit and let's just be friend to please Allah. I love that kind of friends :D

more than that, let Allah does His works.

I'm writing this cause I admit that I'm His weak slave T_T

how.blessed.we.are!

2011-09-23T13:05:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

Alhamdulillah for everything that Allah has given me. this week had been such another blessing from Allah to me. This morning, i just had a happy sharing moment with my 'lucky girls..haha. (okey, only them who understand this).

I'm writing this because I just want to share a video from this guy and what he said in his speech really made me touched deeply inside. yahh, i know we know about it but how often did we remember about what we know? we are human and human always forget. and that's why we need a REMINDER, right?!

ooookay, this is the video :D have fun while watching it! and one more thing, this guy is funny. i laugh many times, hearing his story ^_^

that's all folks! peace be upon you :D

t.u.m.b.l.r

2011-09-22T11:03:00.002+08:00

assalamualaikum everyone!!

just to inform you, my readers, i just got addicted to tumblr and here's mine. insyaAllah i will make it as my great reminder pockets. you can follow too if you want..hehe

ourhimmah.tumblr.com

.f.a.i.t.h.

2011-09-14T21:02:00.004+08:00

assalamualaikum...

Alhamdulillah cause Allah is still giving and showing His love to all of us and in this case me and my dear friends :) just like a hadith down here;

On the authority of Mu’aawiyyah who said, the Messenger of Allah s.a.w said,

“he who Allah wants good for, He gives him understanding of the deen (religion).”

[Hadeeth reported by Bukhaari and Muslim]

today, me and my friends had a chance to join a happy sharing circle with our senior. before that, i want to thank everyone for being there to share everything which are wonderful, WONDERFUL thoughts!!

one thing that i learnt today that i remember sooo much is to be a BELIEVER is such an amazing job. you know, before this, when i heard in AlQuran, sentences like...

"O you who believe!" or "O you believers!",

i just thought like....

"okay, that's a sentence for mu'minun (people who believe) and yah, i think me and all of us, muslims are the one who believes in what Islam teaches. so, we have to take note that ayat...maybe there's something that Allah wants us to do.."

i didnt say that this kind of thought is wrong. it is absolutely true! but somehow, this morning, i came to realize that i never think of how amazing to be one of the believers!! i mean, to be a believers or mu'minun is not easy. do you really really really believes in Allah? please dont get me wrong. what actually i want to say is do you feel Allah is watching you? do you feel and confident that one day, there will be The Judgement Day where every single thing that you did will be shown and measure? do you really bear in mind that Angels are exist?

think again!!

to KNOW and to BELIEVE is wayyyy DIFFERENT!

let me give you an analogy, do you think H. Pylori (bacteria) is exist?

if you know it, you'll say : "yah, it exists cause i learnt about it in school."

but if you believe it, you'll be like : "it really exists okay, cause i see it moves during my lab time and i was the one who got stomach ulcer from it. so, dont you dare to say it's not exist" (haha..maybe a little exaggeration there :P)

(i hope my analogy works..my bad)

a believer is the one who are confident and have faith on Allah and His message. not everyone on this earth can have faith on something which are cannot be detected by our senses. i guess i dont have to give any example because everyone can relate that one, right?

so, if you believe deep down in your heart that there will be hereafter and this world is just a temporary place we stop by, you will not letting yourself to be 'high' in false things and take you away from Allah and teachings of Islam.

take an example --> you are bear in mind, believe if you go to amazon river, you'll got bitten nonstop by the piranha 'monsters' and feel a serious painful injury like hell and end up, you are dead! if that's so, you will not stupidly letting yourself drowning in the river.

to me, to be a BELIEVER, to believe something that we cant see, feel, touch, smell and hear is not an easy task and that's why our iman sometimes fall down and sometimes rockets up because we tend to forget about Allah and that is a HUGE reason for us to always get a reminder.

that's all we need everytime, a reminder that will take us closer and closer to Allah. *wishingitsomuch*

i'm writing this because i want to remind myself in the first place and maybe it can become your reminder too :D *sharing is caring*

lovemuch and peacebeuponyou ^_^

like.a.morning.breeze.

2011-09-06T10:26:00.002+08:00

assalamualaikum...

thank you Allah for the last 2 days. the days that You gave make me smile happily even, until now. Alhamdulillah! ^_^

sunday, 4th September 2011.

we had so much fun. going out together in darina's lagi best and atiyah's kancil to durrah's and diba's open house. yup, i hadn't seen you girls in 3 years which is super long time. and to have a wonderful day with you girls was such a bliss from Allah to me. the most important thing is each one of us is still the same person like the old days in smakl before. that day is like a non-stop laughing session.

thank you sooo much to them for making the memorable day :

durrah, mimie, bilah, cumai, nadia, atiyah, darina, diana, mieza, ain and dibah.

you girls really made my day!!! ^_^

---------------------------------------------------------------------

monday, 5th September 2011.

i called it as "THE BEST USRAHMATES OUTING EVER!!!". Allah is the best planner..masyaAllah! firstly, auni, zati and me took ERL to putrajaya and then hopped on bus to alamanda and met up with suraya and kak fiza. after that, fetched bessi and straight to bangi for bessi's partially-finished medical checkup (already settled). i feel like it was a very long day because to meet up with them was no-waste-hours at all. everyone was making easier for everyone. poor bessi.. i know she was reaaalllyy tired because after landed on KLIA from KK, she had to spent the whole day with us. sooo sorrryy bessi!

but it was a very great day! after this, everyone will be going to different places. i guess we'll not have those days like in kmb. usrah together, laughing and fighting with each other. huge thanks to kak fiza for sacrificing her time until late night sent each one of her anak usrah to their homes.

loads of love and thank youuu to kak fiza, suraya, auni, zati, bessi and not to forget abel, wawa and tiqah.!! i love all of you soo muchh!

may Allah gives us more days like these in the future and i pray that success be with everyone of you, my dear girls! keep working and fighting in the name of Allah ^_^

again, domo arigatou gozaimase! :)

.slapping.myself.

2011-08-25T09:11:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

5 days left....

seriously, it's really sad! (i'm serious, ok!). to live in this beautiful month is such a bliss. i hope i'll give all out during this Ramadhan. plus, next years ahead, i'll experience Ramadhan in different environment (if God wills).

yup, Ramadhan isn't about fasting only. to live here in home with no bi'ah (atmosphere) like kmb or smakl makes me really learnt about tarbiyah dzatiyah. sometimes, i failed. sometimes, i succeed. no matter how hard a day can be, i'll try to keep remind myself. yup, i'm still like a baby, taking a baby steps. i'm not like those people who are absolutely fast, walking in long distance.

i'm so sorry cause i'm not a good helper. yah, put the blame on me cause i know i'm the one who are not very helpful to everyone. arghh! please Allah, makes me always think about You!

i AM a weak servant who are trying to help myself to please You. i'm envy with people who are wayy better than me. i hope i can be one of them.

O Allah, i could only seek help from You! >_<

.solitary.morning.

2011-08-23T08:27:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum...

this morning, i was beaten with sleepiness for about 30+ minutes. arghhh! but it was better than yesterday. i dont know why but started from 2 days ago (i think), i had this super-big-sleppy-head that i cannot fight. *what a loser* ughhh.

okey, this morning after i woke up at 7 am. i went straight to my lappy and go online. yup, and now, it was only 8.15 am and i dont know what to log on now. you know, sometimes fb, twitter and so on might be a boredom for you. yah, especially when there's no people give any respond.

then, i started to feel lonely. yah, lonely as in i-dont-feel-anything-at-all. there's no new videos to watch or i can say, i'm not attracted to the other videos. *okay, please ignore it*

what i'm about to say is, i open up my bloglist and started to read any post that featured. and there's one post that had something related to our prophet Muhammad pbuh and i feel that it's a super awesome post which make me reflect myself ---> "did I act like Prophet pbuh?"

and that's when i realized, that anything that has to be something related to Allah or the Prophet, helps me to flush away all this solitary feeling. you'll not feel lonely if you know that Allah is always with you and keep on remember that our Prophet already gave us something to work on.

so, erm what i'm trying to say is if you're feel bored, try go for something which takes us back to Allah and the prophet. you know, fb, twitter can really be a boredom. trustme! >_<

okay, i dont know why i like to crap but i just feel like to write. got to go..da~~

peace be upon you :)

.the.last.sprint.

2011-08-20T09:57:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum...

i love this title as soon as i see it in this article. yeah, we're left with 10 days of Ramadhan. how i wish to be in Ramadhan everyday! huhu. but never mind cause "once in a year" is one of the reason that makes Ramadhan becomes so special to me.

so, let us all reflect ourselves now. how do we feel when we realize that there's only 10 days? happy? sad? no feeling? answer it in your heart.

yup, only Allah knows what we're feeling right?!

as in my case, it's a mixed feeling. i cant wait to switch my gear to gear 5 and i hope that i am able to do that. i'm scared too as i did many wrongdoings. there are a lot of imperfection in everything. i cant give 100% in whatever i did and that makes me mad at myself. to be such i-dont-know-what-to-say-anymore muslim..*sigh*

but, looking back at all 20 days before, i learnt many things. especially about UMMAH. yup, this ramadhan taught me that there are Muslim everywhere around the world. even the country that i have no idea where it is (maybe, it's due to my lack of geography knowledge) have Muslims. this ramadhan, i get to know bunches of life and history of Muslim in a few countries. you know, it's really good to see different people with different lifestyle but still believe in the same thing which is the AQIDAH.

i think this ramadhan, Allah wanted to teach me that Islam is a very strong religion. Islam got many people who are willing to sacrifice themselves just to please Allah and they are no any ordinary people. they are wayyyy bigger better than myself. i would say, if i dont make any single effort for Allah and Islam, Allah and Islam will not be affected at all.

i think IT'S TIME. it's time for me to open my eyes and realize that i have to work hard, really work hard or else YOU ARE LEFT BEHIND CAUSE YOU'RE GOOD FOR NOTHING. start to improve myself.

dear readers and especially me, grab this last ten days! we dont know if we have the chance to meet Ramadhan again or not.

like a 100 metres runner, once you tried so hard from the starting point and you maintain in the middle of the track, then you will not let yourself down and give up at the very end of the finish line.

insyaAllah we'll improve ourselves just for the sake of Allah. ^_^

new.baby.

2011-08-15T12:05:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum

alhamdulillah, i delivered a baby just now..haha. just kidding. i mean, i just made a new blog of mine. check it out at here. but it's not another *either.life.or.dream* where you will read all my blabbers but it just a place i want to share what i read from anywhere. it can be quotes, hadith or ayatul Quran.

i just hope that this blog will benefit not just me but you too, my readers! that's all for now. arigato na~ for reading this! ^_^

jangan.datang.

2011-07-29T09:39:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

currently, my blog is under construction. now, i'm looking for some ideas. i know my blog is teribble. i had to get out from this purplish minds. okay, i dont know when is the day this blog will be looking nice and awesome.

shall we wait for that day?

okbye.

now.i.know.

2011-07-28T11:29:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum...

well, 3 days to go for Ramadhan, people!! let's not forget that..hee.

last thursday, i was in my kampong in Perlis until last sunday. after that, early morning me and my father went straight to KL, sending my little sister to school and then dropped me at sungai tua, gombak.

spending 7 days away from home really sent me a message there. actually, before i came to sungai tua, i tell myself and Allah that i really have to find an answer of something that i dont know. i need to end all these endless and pointless thoughts of what should i do?, what am i doing and bla-bla-bla so on and so forth.

and alhamdulillah, i found it at the last day i spent my camp in sungai tua (which is yesterday). thank you Allah for giving the answer clearly..! now, i know what i have to do and where i should i aim for. it's okay to be the last people to discover about it because to be clueless in that messy thoughts really takes my soul away.

once again, THANK YOU ALLAH for the answer ^_^

it was awesome days to spent with my family in Perlis and my lovely sisters in Gombak. the loads of love that everyone gave to me reminds me of how lovely Allah is. thank you all and all praises to Allah!!! :)

what to do next is to work it on and onnnn~~~~~~

peace out!

teehee *_*

p/s :

your merciless comment is soo not gonna make me lose my temper and make me sooo fool to be affected by your words. and not to forget ALLAH KNOWS what just you typed to me. thank you because your comment became a practical learning of what my senior taught me about being wise. GOOD FOR YOU!

takde.title.

2011-07-21T00:01:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

(ini adalah sesi meng-ekspress-kan perasaan..tak payah komen..buat2 macam tak pernah baca)

serius. hati aku gundah-gulana sekarang. tak sedap hati, tak senang duduk, katakan saja segala situasi yang berlaku apabila jiwa kacau. entahlah..tiba-tiba malam ini aku emosi tahap moksya sorang-sorang. maybe sebab aku happy sangat petang tadi, so aku akan mengalami perasaan sedih sangat.

sebab mak aku pernah cakap, "jangan suka sangat nanti jadi duka" (aku tak tau nak percaya ke tak...tapi, aku tau mak aku ada point di situ)

warghhhh!! okay, yang boleh tolong sekarang ni Allah je. sebab dia jugak yang bagi aku perasaan ni. aku tak tau nak fikir apa dahhh.. dahla, jom sujud kepadaNya.

berikanlah aku kekuatan, Ya Allah!! T_T

nothing.less.nothing.more.

2011-07-17T23:50:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum..

greetings, people! or i should say,"Kia ora!!" haha.. do you know what language is that? perhaps, you should google it then..hehe

nevermind, i just wanted to give some update about myself. nothing less nothing more. well, now i'm still unemployed, frictional unemployed to be specific. this holiday is something that really a challenge to me. you know, to take care of yourself, your sight, your iman and you name it.

even now, it is the time for me to do whatever i haven't did during my hostel life before. i guess, now, finally i got my own opinion about life in this world. what i could say is my life is something not actually about me. life is about giving to others. but not strangers. i'm not to that extent yet okay.

what i'd learn is, life is about Allah and His Message. you know, every single things happened contains the hidden message that we will not know until Allah permits us. i don't know why i'm writing this. just a thought that i learnt while i was in kmb.

okay, back to the main point, please...

alright, now, i'm seriously in a mood to improve. i hope that after the holidays, i will have a bad relationship with a thing so-called TV by modern human. more and more helping my family and friends too. nevertheless, READ BOOKS. fewwhhh, there are A LOT of books that i haven't finish yet. one of the reasons is that i really like to read according to chapters, not the book. today, i read chapter B in book A. tomorrow, i read chapter Y in book H. just so you know, most of my books is not novels. some sort like articles, difference stories in different chapters. ah-hah!

that's just it! now, get back to your things as i'm about to do my things. do something beneficial to yourself in this World and Hereafter ^_^

MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU, READERS :)

please, do not let it go, bella!! -.-"

it's.never.too.late.

2011-07-08T16:19:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

it's a very calm day here in cheras. and dont forget to say what? yes, you dear..say what? (haha) yup, say Alhamdulillah!! *wink3*

okay, sorry for the i-dont-know-what-to-say intro..haha. *forgive me for my weakness.*

so, here, i just want to express some gratitude for everyone.

i know the success that Allah gave me a few days before is not my effort alone. it happens because (Allah permits it, of course) and the help of every single persons in my surrounding. especially my family, teachers, friends and also you, my readers, aunts or uncles or sisters or brothers who gave me the lessons of life by many ways.

thank you soooo much for volunteering to be Allah's medium for me to learn about life.

an unstoppable thank you for everyone of you!!!!

an unstoppable ALHAMDULILLAH for You, O Allah :)

like uncle ben said (credit to aimi),

"a great power comes with great responsibility"

and sayyid qutb once wrote;

"Victory will not be theirs as a personal reward. They will be given power as trustees appointed for the implementation of the Islamic way of life. They will be worthy trustees because neither were they promised nor did they look for any worldly gain. They pledged themselves truly to God at a time when they were unaware of any worldly benefit that may befall them except that they would win God’s pleasure."

(check my previous post)

have a good day, people!! ^_^

how.sweet.

2011-07-04T16:15:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

all praises to Allah for everything that He gave and gives me until now. alhamdulillah~~~

so sorry dear blog, it's been a long time since i wrote here. it's not that i didnt have time. it's just i dont have the mood to write. maybe i just feel like to hear, to see of what other people said and wrote. absorbing things.

i dont have any message to give you but just a feeling to share. i dont know, maybe my dear blog, you'll always be a place that i write to express my emotion. and Allah is the most who know how i feel and felt.

right now, i'm doing my things in my house and my duty towards Allah. but, to spend the holiday, i shall tell you, it's not easy mann. it's tough when it comes to fulfill your task as a good servant of Allah and as a true muslim.

jahiliyah will always come to me, begging me and keep making me attracted to it. syaitan always keep on whispering things for me to do. and I admit, there are times I follow them. arghhh! I dont like it. in fact, i hate it and especially i hate myself, for not being strong enough to get rid of all those things.

i just hate it....and i feel really really sad about it!

why cant i be strong like the prophet s.a.w.?

why cant i be strong like the companions of prophet.?

T_T

sometimes, i just feel stupid. and i feel sorry for "everyone that is still playing in mud stupidly". there are tonnes of them here in my surrounding. I know it's somehow my fault!

to be a true muslim is not easy. whoever feel so comfortable, easy with his/her life, he/she should be shameful cause the truth is not just it! please wake up people! we've to do something to take everyone of us back to Allah and be proud of Islam.

we're the same. we did and do mistakes. and when you feel it deep inside your heart that you're regret of what you've done. just say it to Allah cause Allah knows all about it and He looks upon us and in fact, He is the one who gives that superb feeling.

"And those who having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls earnestly bring Allah to mind; and ask for forgiveness for their sins,―and who can forgive sins except Allah?,―And are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done."

[Ali - Imran : 135]

"O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me, and hope in me, I shall forgive for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds in the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I shall forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with an earthful of sins and were you then to face Me, without having associated anything with Me, I shall grant you an earthful of pardon."

(At-Tarmizi) (hadis no. 42 from Hadis Arbain)

that is sooooo sweet of Allah! i cant barely hold my heart..~_~

.purify.

2011-06-21T16:44:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

let's purify our soul with this beautiful song.

have a good days!! peace be upon you :)

.that.is.deeep.man.

2011-06-21T11:10:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

i just finished watching a video from baba ali in youtube.com titled "Some 'Religious People' aren't very religious". it was indeed a hilarious video but it kills me inside. seriously, what he was talking about is really worrying me...

i made a decision to take a step, trying to become a true muslim when i was 19 years (i'm still noob) and now, i'm still in the process of learning about islam. working hard to practice what Islam told me (and Muslims) to do and it was not an easy path. it was and still like a thornful path.

alhamdulillah, Allah slowly gave me a chance to learn, to practice what i learned in a very very very conducive atmosphere (which is KMB). all to praises to Him that making the process faster and i'm sure that there is long way to go. i need to sacrifice just because of Allah in order for me to get His blessing, the ultimate goal!

the tiny transformation that i did somehow makes me afraid if i am the one of the people that bro Baba Ali talked about. i'm afraid that i have this kind of ego that makes me feel i am better than others (God forbids). because the true muslims will not feel it as more knowledge that one gets, he/she will become more humble because he/she realized there is so much things that he/she didn't know.

people think that "one who looked more religious is the one who is more pious" but looking at the hadith (that i get from the video) ;

"Allah does not look at your looks and appearance, but rather He looks at your hearts and action." [Muslim]

no one knows who is more pious or not, because only Allah knows what inside His slaves' heart. right?

i'm writing this not because i want to say bad about Muslims but i want to make a reminder especially for myself and dear readers to sit back and reflect ourselves. are we that kind of person? we're just Allah's slaves that have to do things that He asked and left all the things that He hates.

yeah, saying is easier than doing. like what we always heard, "Action speaks louder than words" now, we have to break the ego cause Ust Nouman Ali Khan once said [NOT THE EXACT WORDS] , "If we're crossing the boundaries that Allah made, we're not hurting Allah but we're hurting (or destroy) ourselves" -.-

aim to reach now (and always) ----> remembering Allah for every seconds..biiznillah. cause if we remember Allah, we know we're the weak one and Allah is the superior one. it solves the prob. how can we say we're the better or the best if we admit that we are weak. dont get me wrong, okay? Muslims are strong because of Allah and weak because of Allah too. :)

any question or objection? put it in comments.

thank you for reading ^_^ peace be upon you.

p/s : this reflection is only to reflect ourselves. when you reflects, you're not looking anyone, you're looking yourself. so, dont talk about people. talk about yourself.

O Allah!!

2011-06-20T22:49:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

dear readers, i dont have anything and i dont feel like to write a long entry for this time. i just want to release my emotion. yahh...now, i'm not in kmb that i can just go to my friends' rooms and talking about my sadness or problems. so, this (my blog) is the substitute of my friends and i know Allah knows how do i feel now.

i dont know if i am soo bad that i feel this kind of feeling but i'm a human who is not perfect. you know what i'm saying? currently, i feel so sad and i dont want to talk about it in further. i just want to express my sadness.

what i can say is all of my friends out there, you have to be grateful that you guys are sooo lucky to have that kind of awesome chance to learn everything and you can improve yourself far away better than me.

i dont know but i feel like crying to talk about this thing. anyhow, i just believe that Allah knows what is best for me and Allah who brings up the best in me. even though it is bitter but i have to learn to swallow it.

bella, you have to be happy to see they were having fun. you supposed to feel grateful that their spirits are rocketing up to the peak so that they can give you a bunch of reminders. you have to accept it, bella, that Allah put the plot of your life beautifully. *i'm trying to be husnuzon (positive) here*

well, not everything is sweet right? although it is sweet, but still you'll have the bitter side of it which is responsibility. so help me people! coz (wAllah) the holiday is a very very very tough period of time for me. ~_~ i'm holding it and will keep holding on.

maybe i'll be invisible. you can see me, but i dont appear in front of you guys.

that's it. sorry, i just posted a bunch of craps :(

.what.a.gift.

2011-06-15T11:13:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

well, happy day to you!!
alhamdulillah and all praises to Allah for giving these whole 20 years to me. something that i cant describe. life, knowing You and struggling just for You is a very very very awesome gift to me :)

thank you Allah!!

and this morning, i get this ayat from Him (thru the reminder jar).

"Lo! We have given thee Abundance. So pray unto thy Lord, and sacrifice." 108 : 1 & 2

i guess Allah told me to work more and more for him despite all of the gifts that He already gave me. yeah! we cannot repay back all of the things that Allah bestowed us. so, what can we do is just follow what He told us to and left all those that He dont want us to do :) (that is 1 of the explanation of taqwa)

okay people, have a great day on my birthday..(that's rhymed!)

peace be upon all of you ^_^

.just.an.idea.

2011-06-09T20:29:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum and good day to everyone!!

today, i'm just going to share an idea. does anyone around you or you yourself, are running out of time, searching for something to make a nice, wonderful present? i dont know if it's suit with what's in your mind but A REMINDER JAR would be the one!!

fyi, it was one of the presents that i gave to my mom as her 42th birthday present besides a card and a colourful Hadis 40. basically, it is a jar full of cute folded papers that have motivational ayatul Quran. it was originated from my friends in kmb who did this by using only coloured papers making the box and the folded papers on it.

since it was going to be a birthday present for my mom, so i reinvented it in a new form but still the same concept. so, you can try to do it! you know, it's very good cause it makes you more closer to Al-Quran and of course Allah ^_^

check out the pics!!

behind the scene, time : 2 am

the papers before it turned to be the cute folded papers! :)

you can have bigger size of it and you can design whatever ways you want! (this is just for a rough idea)

jar pic 2

okay, hope this post can help anyone. enough for that, da~~~

.words.of.wisdom.

2011-06-05T11:14:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

Morning, everyone! May Allah bless you!!

okay, allow me to share a quote from Saidina Ali which I knew it from TV this morning. but, I apologize because I cannot find the quote in english. so, here it is;

Kebaikan itu semuanya terhimpun dalam empat perkara:

Percakapan, diam, pandangan dan gerak.

Tiap-tiap percakapan yang tidak disertai dengan mengingati Allah adalah sia-sia, tiap-tiap diam yang tidak disertai dengan memikirkan kebesaran Allah adalah leka, tiap-tiap pandangan yang tidak disertai dengan pengambilan iktibar adalah lalai, dan tiap-tiap gerak yang tidak disertai dengan perhambaan adalah kosong.

[source]

when i read it on the TV screen, i was very sad and shocked. i looked back at myself. there are many many many times i was in vain. -.- before this, i said to my friends or even in this blog, i always wrote that i dont want to do anything that will not bring benefit to my life in Hereafter (Akhirat) but based on this words by Saidina Ali, i am that kind of person that i hate! ouch..it hurts me a lot!

so, now, i need to watch out my words, my movement, my silence and my sight. these 4 basic daily routines should be based on Allah only.

okay, everyone! dont forget to always refresh your soul :)

peace be upon all of you.! ^_^v

.a.mirror.reflection.

2011-05-30T08:37:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

good day all! how's everyone? well, to me, it's complicated to say cause here in my home, i am officially become a housemaid, nurse..hurm what else? maybe that's it for now.

okay, during this holiday, i am really really doing my work as a daughter. why nurse? because my mum just got back from hospital last Friday and I have to take care of her. i think it's time for me to give back a little part of everything that she already did to me. my mum's sacrifice to us (her children) is wayyy bigger than mine.

maybe, that's enough or else, i will keep blabbering about all the house chores..haha.

as for btn, yeah i just got back from Meru and sincerely i learned many things from it. i mean, this year of 20 (i'm 20 now..aiyo so old!) has given me many chance to see and discover about people's thought and their passions. like it's name "kursus kenegaraan", you can predict what are the things that they want to inject in our mind.

i mean, it's not that i'm against the government or what but i just cannot completely go with the input. the discussion is just like you're in a TOK class but in bias situation. sorry to say but i have my own mission that is to make everyone on this earth know about Allah and feel the love of Allah (including to build up my iman which is super tough!).

but anyway, this btn camp really opened up my mind where I met different people with different thoughts and that's when i know "whoa! we have tonnes of works to do, Bella!"

discussing about this World is okay to me but not as a whole part of it.

i don't know but when they say about their aim is to get this bla..bla..bla. i said it's absolutely true! but is that all?? think again.

to conclude, it was an awesome camp. I made a lot of friends especially non-muslims. before this in kmb, i didn't take a chance to get to know them but at there, there are a few people of non-muslim that i could bond to. i really like my group. they're funny and very nice people! i laughed all the way from the 2nd day until the last day in Meru.

whoa, that's too much to write. i don't think anyone will put an effort to read this post..hik3. this post is just a reflection of one of the scenes in my life. nothing else, okay? it's just how i see things based on what i learned in my life.

you're cool? if yes, you're positive people, man!

what a feeling!? huhu..

till i write again...peace be upon me and you.

.a.pit.stop.

2011-05-19T15:30:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum...

is this picture enuff to tell how happy i am?? *wink3*

how's my blog? great, huh? haha. *nothing else to say, bella?!* anyway, can you detect with my tone of voice now (i mean not literally voice) but my tone of writing perhaps? haha

see, i feel like i'm talking nonsense right now but actually, i'm soooo happy!! happy plus grateful plus overwhelmed and you name it. yeah, that's what i feel when i'm officially an EX IB student. haha.*how many 'haha'..duh!*

the IB exam has ended for me but not for the business students. dont worry, tomorrow, they'll feel the same. it feels calm and happy like you just wanna smile and smile and keep doing it over and over again.

the 2 years of IB student, i had learnt many things about life. hardship (almost..), pain, determination, friendship and especially a TRUE LOVE.

i feel lucky as i learnt something which is really really important to me which is Him. KMB will be one of the places that i never forget. how can you forget a place that met you with your real happiness, right.?

kmb equals to no ordinary place

it's not the place actually but it's the people and the knowledge that i gained there is extraordinary and most probably the precious one would be learning about MYSELF. cause i found who i am as a muslim and yet i dont know how is my ending as a muslim. i hope that every second that i learnt here will not be wasted in the future. amin...^_^

like what one of my friends said, "we have a lot of things to do!"

yes, what she said is absolutely true!

this college is just a pit stop for my journey as a Muslim and a student. just like this World, a place to stay for a while to continue the quest to the final destination, the Hereafter.

may Allah bless us everyday and teach everything with His touch. ^_^

how.can.i.describe.it?

2011-05-15T02:17:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

we were just finished our last usrah meeting 3 hours ago and how can i describe the feeling. sad, thankful. everything's mixed up. hurm...it was a very enjoyable usrah and all of us are very close to each other. laugh together, eat together, talk together and the most powerful is we learn about Allah together.

it's hard to find that strong-bond circle of people where everyone of us are completely different and somehow Allah made us complement to each other. even though the time that we spend is not that long but i found happiness and gratefulness for every single moment that Allah gave us.

i will always miss the six of them and also my partners. you girls are so great and i cherished the things that we did together. may everyone of us get the benefits from this usrah in terms of the World and the Hereafter. may Allah grants our discussions and all the activities.

let distance keeps us apart cause Allah and our Aqidah always make us our hearts closer and closer. all the best for everyone especially my partners, Umai who will be going to UK for dentistry and Adina who will going to further her medicine in Johor.

and to my 6 cute sisters,
Aliya
Awin
Jiha
Eyma
Munirah
and Kausar

.....may Allah guides all of you all the way in your journey of IB and life now and hereafter. apply what have you learn and understand. insyaAllah may Allah give the strength for all of you to continue the journey of every muslim in KMB.

and most importantly, is to thank Allah for everything that You bestowed me. All praises to Him for everything that He did. if it's not because of You, i'll never know about love, pain, determination and much more. it is a bless that You gave me and i pray that the bless will carry on until the Hereafter.

O Allah, indeed, we are only seeking for Your pleasure. ^_^

ALHAMDULILLAH.!!! *wink3*

.i.say.what?

2011-05-11T15:52:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum, people!

alhamdulillah, for this time being, 3 subjects down and 3 more to go which are biology, malay and economics. too many books to read now and i somehow not feel like to read all academics books. pleasee just for a while. insyaAllah tonight (or tomorrow) i will get back to my books. currently choice of books? Return of The Pharaoh. just a little bit of that and then, hello again biology books!! (and malay..and econs...) huhu

okay people, stay strong and the most important stay close to Allah, alright?! insyaAllahu ta'ala..

work for the sake for Allah.! pray for me and muslims all around the world.

^_^

jaaa ne!

have.a.break.for.a.while.

2011-05-03T01:30:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

peace to everyone! insyaAllah it'll be a short and brief post.

my IB exam countdown is showing 1 day, 13 hours, 10 minutes and 10 seconds for the exam...arghh!! is it happening? i cant believe it! now it's the time to take everything with us to face this exam. i dont know why but IB exam is really feels like facing SPM or even more challenging, of course.

like this one particular blogger said that try to google IB life and you'll found it easily! or you can even youtube it. i watched this particular video "twIBight" when i was in sem 1. wayyy scary..haha.

okay, what's more important is i want to wish all the best to all IB exam candidates May 2011 around the world, especially my batch (Batch Kita) year 2 students. insyaAllah we will going to make it!! IB 45!!

also, to my friends since kindergarten, elementary school and high school who are taking sem exam, good luck all!! may Allah help us all the way, okay?!

pray for me! and everyone too..bittaufiq wannajah ^_^

all of sudden, i'll remember a phrase from Tafsir Fi Zilalil Quran (In the Shade of AlQuran) by As-Syahid Syed Qutb talked about The Believers (orang2 yang beriman) in Surah Al-Mutaffifin;

or in malay translation...;

"..Allah menjadikan kemenangan itu amanah bukan kemenangan untuk mereka, tetapi untuk membolehkan mereka untuk memikul amanah Allah....Mereka benar- benar jujur kepada Allah sejak mereka tahu bahawa satu-satunya balasan untuk mereka ialah keredhaan Allah."

yes! the real victory is not IB but Allah's pleasure. IB exam is just one of the ways to make the path become closer to Allah. to make everyone knows about Allah. bear that in mind, bella.!

so, all the best to myself and friends. may Allah grants every single thing that we did now, before and after this. May Allah gives His help to us during the exam or in our whole life.

O ALLAH! JUST FROM YOU, WE SEEK FORGIVENESS AND HELP...>_<

for.what.reason.

2011-04-19T22:40:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

first of all, let us say ALHAMDULILLAH, All praises to Allah for all the things that He gave and is giving us now and today. here's a quote that i read on twitter just now.

(i dont remember the exact one)

"FOR THOSE WHO'S DAY IS NOT GOING AS HE PLANNED, SAY ALHAMDULILLAH BECAUSE ALLAH HAD REMIND HIM THAT ALLAH IS THE BEST PLANNER FOR YOU!"

wahh..masyaAllah! eventhough people will see bad thing happened as a jinx but we as a Muslim will certainly see that there is always a good side of every single things happened.

only the TRUE MUSLIM can feel that and only the TRUE MUSLIM can think with such mindset (or in SOLUSI mag, they say 'tauhidic mindset') and these kind of people with a very genuine heart will feel a very sweetest feeling ever which is HALAWATUL IMAN or in malay, KEMANISAN IMAN or in english, THE SWEETNESS OF IMAN (i apologise if it's not the correct one...hehe)

that's what we supposed to feel in every single second in every single act that we did..the sweetness of everything. everything happens for a reason which is A GOOD ONE!

to talk about halawatul iman, i'm not the one who is very expert in this but i could only share what i have read in SOLUSI mag just now and some of things that i said here are based on 'kulsem' in surau blok f.

one of my friends said,

may everything that we did today, that we work for, which are full of hardship and sacrification...may those things happened for the sake of Allah.

because as a student, we are 'very dissolved' in our own world (study, exam, club activities, friends, online) until at some point, we forgot about our reason to live here in this world. we forgot about Our God, Allah.

As in Al-Quran stated,

"And I (Allâh) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)."

51:56

people who feel the halawatul iman are the ones who love Allah and the prophet more than anything else. so, how to do that? how to love Allah in that kind of manner? in the mag, the writer give a Malay saying, "tak kenal maka tak cinta.." or in english, "you dont love if you dont know it". well, same thing goes with Allah. you will not love if you dont really know who is Allah and if you dont know Allah, you will not know what is true-est purpose of LIFE!

and our heart (deepest heart or iman) is a medium that we use to know about Allah.

let me give an analogy,

if we put sugar on tounge that has an ulcer on it, surely, we will not feel the sweet taste, right?!

that's what Halawatul iman really is! we dont really really love and feel Allah if our heart is sick nor not clean, pure enough. astaghfirullah.

let us reflect ourselves. what we are doing now? is it will bring towards Allah or not. this is very important because every second that we have is like a business and our profit from our business will be revealed in hereafter. as long as we have chance to breathe, go do some profitable business!

actually, i want to say more but i have a mock exam tomorrow. very well, salam and may Allah bless us! amin ya rabbal 'alamin..

^_^

all.praises.to.ALLAH.

2011-04-16T23:55:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum...

good day to everyone!

just a short update to tell you but i dont know if it's really matters that i have to tell you about this. i'm not sure. but just let me finish it quickly okay? then, we could end this session and go back prepare for the final!! bahaha (sangat tak ikhlas -.-)

okay, move on.

yesterday, i opened my official email (specially made for official things only!) and guess what?? i got 2 conditional offer letters. one is from victoria university of wellington and another one is lincoln university. actually, these are my 3rd and 4th choice and i'm still waiting for my 1st and 2nd choice, university of auckland and university of waikato.

but if ALLAH decides that I wouldn't get my 1st and 2nd choice, i would say Alhamdulillah because at least i get the offer right?! but if it's meant to be that i get my 1st and 2nd choice, i say Alhamdulillah too!! ^_^

however, there's a big problem here. but nevermind, i will not tell about that. what's more important is for me to keep on putting the effort so that i can make myself qualified to go there. insyaAllah. this is not easy coz if i dont meet the MARA requirement, they will not pay the fees etc..

so, now, bella, you have to keep moving on! struggle in the name of Allah.

O Allah, please make this sacrification beneficial to my Akhirat. amin ya rabbal 'alamin..! ~_~

let.me.tell.you.a.story.

2011-04-10T15:27:00.002+08:00

assalamualaikum...

it's has been a tough week not just for me only but also my dearest friends in kmb. may everything happened will make us stronger and more depending on Allah..^_^

well, now, i feel like to have a STORY TIME!!

i knew this wonderful story from my classmate, J and then it became my favourite when i read it for the second time on twitter by islamic thinking.

it's about one of the Rasulullah's companions, Salman al-Farisi RA. yeah, i know everyone knew him because of what he did in Ahzab war, right?! but, who knows about the story before he became a Muslim.?? anyone?? hehe.

alright! sit up straight and lend me your eyes, kay?

to make it short, Hazrat Salman Al-Farisi RA was searching for Prophet in city full of dates that was claimed by his Christian priest in Mosul during his near-death. The priest also gave clues to meet the right person.

"Between his shoulder blades, there will be the Seal of the Prophethood. He will eat food, provided it is a gift and not a donation."

So, after a long time (you can read more here), Hazrat Salman RA got himself to Yathrib (which is the old name of Madinah) as a servant. At that time, he was on top of a date tree, doing his work but suddenly he stopped and climbed down when he heard his master said that on that day, a Prophet will come to their city.

and Hazrat Salman RA himself narrates:

I left the house for a while, making inquiries. I asked a woman I met from the city whose entire family had become Muslim. She showed me the way to the Prophet .

When it was evening, I took some food with me and went to the Prophet . The Prophet was in Quba at the time. I said,

“Word has reached me that you are a very pious man, and that you have some travellers in your company. I had some charity and thought that you would be most deserving of it. This is it; you may have some to eat.”

The Prophet withdrew his own hand, not eating from it, but told his Companions to eat. At the time, I thought, “This is one of the characteristics my Mentor (priest) told me of.”

On my way back, I saw that the Prophet was heading to Madinah . Thus, I took the food to him, saying,
“I saw that you were not eating from this charity. As a matter of fact, I presented it as a gift and not charity.”

This time, the Prophet also ate with his Companions. “That makes two signs,” I thought.

Later on, I approached the Prophet as he was walking behind the corpse in a funeral. I remember that at the time, he was covered in two sheets, and that his Companions were with him.

I was trying to steal a look at the Seal on his back,

.....

when the Prophet saw me glancing.

.....

Realising that I wanted to verify what someone had told me,

....

he let his cloak drop a little,

....

and I managed to see that the Seal between his shoulder blades was exactly the way my Mentor had described it.

....

I threw myself down before the Prophet (sallallahu-alayhi wasallam) kissing (his blessed hands/feet) and started to cry.

....

The Holy Prophet said, “O Salman! Reveal your story.”

So I sat in front of him, relating my story to him and hoping that his Companions could also hear it. When I had finished, the Prophet said,

“O Salman! Make a deal with your owner to free you.”

.........................................................................................................................................

it was a very cute story for me. how sweet is that when rasulullah dropped his cloak to make it easier for Salman to know he is the right person. ^_^

woahh!! i mean, i'm soooo impressed with Salman RA for his courage and determination to find Rasulullah and i'm sure he would consider it is the best-est moment of his life.

i wonder when can i have that kind of moment of my life like that??

to cry happily when i see Rasulullah...

somehow, it makes me feel so sad. Muhammad s.a.w is not here in our time.

how fortunate Salman RA and his friends can have a really great, precious moment with Rasulullah and i hope one day, i will have my own moment with Rasulullah.

not here in this World but in Hereafter. how I wish that he knows about me....

till then, salam to all readers!

bye.

soothing.the.soul.

2011-04-05T18:09:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum..

a very soothing feeling whenever i'm listening to maher zain's freedom. i dont know how to describe it but this feeling somehow makes me feel like want to be closer and getting closer to Allah, my ultimate lover.

how precious life is when we know that He always be right there beside us!

and how life would better off when we always know that He will look at us, helping us to get through every single thing happens in life..

how precious the moment is when people misunderstood us, we were just thinking about You, knowing that You know every single thing happens.

how great the feeling is when we can feel the love and it happens to be when we're talking (praying) to You!

how touching it was when we could feel You everytime we breathe for every second of our life.!

oh how great is that!

O Allah, for every single time of my life, i want to feel this song of soul.

a hearty touch of Your love.

always and always...

and I pray that you will give each one of us to feel You and Your love and make us closer to You, O Allah.

how great the world is if everyone shares this kind of feeling. together feeling the same soothing moment which i'm sure everyone smile with the true-est smile ever...

much love to You, O Allah! keep us closer to You forever. ~_~

wargghh!!!

2011-04-03T19:50:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

hari ini alhamdulillah dapat luangkan masa sebaik2nya..alhamdulillah!!

tadi tengok la blog2 orang lain. dah lama kot tak tengok blog orang. selalunya tulis post and then terus sign out buat kerja lain. tapi alhamdulillah tadi dapat bukak blog sorang kawan ni. nama dia atiqah hanis. kawan sekolah lama dulu.

bila bukak2 baru tahu dia dah fly ke australia. tengok gambar2 dia membuatkan aku bersemangat balik nak strive for this final exam. it's gonna be a mental and physical exam. exam kali ni sangat penting utk make sure aku dapat scholarship utk fly ke NZ which is in feb 2012. (lambat kan..?) tapi tak kesahla kalau Allah izinkan, rasa bersyukur sangat2!!

bella, buat betul2!! dont u ever ever let yourself down..! irp pon nak start! arghh..takpe2 insyaAllah boleh punye laahh!!

sekian, salam semua :D

p/s : mintak maaf tuan punya belog dalam keadaan yang agak tidak stabil due to everything happens in her surrounding.

i.just.realized.

2011-03-30T17:44:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum, everyone!

now, all of year 2 students are constantly in pressure which we have to go through for about more than 5 weeks. this IB final exam isn't something petty y'know.. but it the one of the most crucial that I have to tackle on. like insyaAllah like what rasulullah told us in hadith no. 19 (imam nawawi)

"Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you.." ~source~

dont worry, dear. if you believe in Allah, Allah will always be there to protect us. how sweet! ^_^

i dont know for what reason i type these words but i just feel like i want to share with all of you. let everyone in this world knows that ALLAH is the Most gracious, Most merciful. let everyone feel the love of Allah which one will never ever leave it when they get the chance. i mean, just take an example from those as-syahid and as-syahidah who were risking their lives just for the sake of Allah and we, what do you think?? ask it yourself. (wow..very sharp, huh?!)

no, it's not even the main story. that was just the mukaddimah of this post..(hehe). but as I was pushing myself to connect the dots (put the effort) to tackle all these things, sometimes I need a break for a while. to settle my mind and especially my soul. before this, I always think that 'if you wanna to relax your mind, go for this korean drama' or 'if you take a break, pleasure yourself with these unnecessary love songs'.

i used to be that kind of girl who spent most of her days with something that she didnt ever get the Islamic value in it. yeah, it's not easy for me until today to get rid of all korean-japan-american thingy. it needs a lot of guts and also, friends.

alhamdulillah now i found some of the replacement of the jahiliyyah part of myself. if you know more about other stuffs that happens to be kind of same with these, do tell me that. i really, really, really, want to know it. sometimes, i will go to youtube and get video from ust. nouman ali khan. a great reminder, seriously. it's a good one because i am a person who is easily to get bored and sleep during a talk. if you feel like you want something cheer up your day and at the same time is not wasting your time, try go for ummahfilms video (or baba ali). a great sense of humour, i can say.

or even you can have songs from any Islamic singers. you name it. maher zain, sami yusuf, mesut kurtis, native deen, zain bhikha, dawud wharnsby ali or even the malaysian nasheed artist! (my fave would be raihan..) my taste of music is not same to everyone. so , you have to search for yourself.! dont worry Allah counts every single that we do for the sake of Aqidah.

i know what i'm talking is not really the 'root' thing but i just share some tips so that you will a taste of it and who knows these will bring closer and closer to Allah. i ask myself not to waste my time, my youth for the sake of nothing. it's just not worth it at all.!

i think that's all. but unfortunately baba ali and ust nouman ali khan are in english. if you want the malay version, you can go for youtube. you know there are tonnes of very good video that can bring us closer to Allah. it's just the matter of how we use it, righto?!

okay, i must go now. anyway, have a nice day peeps. pray for me! strive for the best IB, world and the most important HEREAFTER. amin ya rabbal 'alamin..

^_^

hiyaakkk!!

2011-03-16T00:36:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

first and foremost, all praises to Allah for letting me to have a very seconds of life. thank you Allah for everything! alhamdulillah...

and salutations to our prophet s.a.w for the most unbelievable moments of my life. all your acts and teachings had give everyone an inspiration to keep on moving in their lives.

okayhh...move on.

i was just arrived from my kampong which is in perlis. alhamdulillah. i was having a really fun time there. playing with those children (i mean my nieces and nephews) had given me a fresh breathe because it was a long time that i haven't playing with those kids especially babies. alhamdulillah, Allah do listen to my prayer to meet with the 'small ones'..haha. getting a little boredom to mess around with big people who some of them have no reason but just keep challenging me inside out.

but then, all of the, i sholud say 'tribulation and joy' gave me a big lesson to survive and keep holding on to our principal of life which is the ISLAM is. many things were happening and sometimes it made me breathless.

anyhow, now, biiznillah, i'm all freshen up and i pray that my spirit will never be lower and lower as there many things to do and time waits for no men, aren't they? we cannot just waste ummah time.

48 days to go for final exam. woahh..there's a lot of things to revise on and one thing to remember, make this exam get us closer to Allah, not further away from Allah coz we have to bear in mind what's the purpose of us to live on this very world.

to anyone who puzzling around, there's still a lot of time to do before i go study abroad. now, i'm preparing for my final exam and if my IB point is good enough, insyaAllah new zealand is the next place to come. maybe aroud july 2011 or feb 2012. let Allah decides it and the most important is my job to work hard in every single thing just because of Allahu subhanahu wa ta'ala.

allahummarhamna bil iman..
allahummakhtim lana bi husnilkhatimah..
amin ya rabbal 'alamin
^_^

a.very.different.side.of...

2011-03-08T18:52:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

it's 8th day of March and it's 3rd day of Rabi'ul Awal..

it's my dearest best friend's birthday..saidatul shamimi saifuddin. mimie, happy birthday dear!

i am so sorry that i cannot have some time to talk to you, to chat with you, like we used before. yahh..i know it's already 2 years back when we were talking to each other via instant messaging. frankly to say, i really missed our moments together.

even though i don't have the time to chat with you frequently, you're still my best friend ever. maybe, if we meet later, i believe there will be some awkwardness happens but i am so grateful to Allah if you still take me as your best friend. ^_^

i'll keep praying for your success to be a great scientist!! hehe.. may Allah bless you and keep holding on to Allah's words coz Allah knows the best for you.

"Allahumma fighli zunubi wa li ukhti"
~O Allah, forgive my sins and also my sister's (friend's)~

seriously, i really looking forward to spend time with you. biiznillah (if Allah permits) we're gonna meet soon or later. but now, there's so many things to do as the IB final exam has 56 days to go (much-freaky-me).

again, to say,

as this beautiful day passes by,
to let you know that everyday's fresh breeze that you feel,
is one of Allah's creation,
and we are one of His creation,
and Allah loves His servant who remembers Him all the time,
so i pray that we are the ones of those humble servant.
amiin ya rabbal 'alamin.

much love,
bella.

those.petty.thingy.

2011-02-28T15:06:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

first, let us be thankful to Allah for His love and care that always keep us stay in the road, learning and knowing Him.

alhamdulillah.

i dont know why but now, i just feel like writing.

okay, let me just sharing about one surah with you guys that I learnt yesterday. the 88th surah in Alquran, AL-GHASHIYYAH or in english, it means Overwhelming event. it's another name of HARI KIAMAT (sorry, i dont know hari kiamat in english..pardon me).

okay, just three ayat to point out....

"Some faces (the non-believers), on that Day, shall be downcast,"

"Labouring hard and worn out,"

"They will be burnt by a scorching Fire,-"

from the ayat, we can see those people who are working really, really, really hard in this very WORLD but at last, they suffer in Hell. why is it so? doesn't it oppose to the idea that whoever put the efforts won the game? is Allah tries to say that we dont have to work hard?

no...noo..noo!

according to Fi Zilalil Quran, those people are the ones that working hard but they do it not with the intention "lillahitaala" (because of Allah). they get the result in the Dunya but not in Akhirat where all those efforts are meaningless if we do it just because of ourselves.

so, readers, think back! are we do it because of Allah? am I studying because of Allah?? if not, we have to change our niat. it did matters in Akhirat later as we know it is a BRAINLESS act if we work not because of Him.

in fact, He is the one who gave the tools and make it easy for us to work. hands, eyes, mouth..etc. who gave this to us?? oppss, it's doesnt even belongs to US, it's belongs to Allah and He just lend it to us, so that we can do it everything because of Him.

sooo,, really, everyone has to think back again.

we dont want to be a very stupid things, right?

that's all I think. insyaAllah..^_^

this.feeling.

2011-02-02T23:23:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

alhamdulillah i already got back here in cheras, my hometown. i dont know what to say, happy plus sad?

but first, try to listen to Ar-Rahman mp3. i dont know why but every reading of Ar-Rahman that I heard ever since i was in my secondary school, the reading always made me feel sad or i could say, feel like crying. just hear the reading already made me feel like crying, not even with the translation.

every morning, the reading always playing in my head from KMB's musolla. every morning, when i heard i feel like how ungrateful i was as a servant of Allah. waking up every morning, i always forget about the meaning of wake up du'a.

to be grateful, is what I strive for. to be grateful, is something which is not easy. it takes a single moment that you have to sit with yourself and think of what you've done and link it with Allah. the main thing is have you say thank you to Allah?? have you use your gift of life to the true-est purpose of life??

what i can do is....i just can cry when i realized i havent do all the musahabah session.

O Allah, i ask for forgiveness for all the stupid things that i did! i am a very weak servant and only You could give the strength and hidayah.

(i was uneasy when i wrote this..)

history.

2011-02-01T21:24:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

dah lama giler tak update blog.
sejak hari sabtu lepas, aku memang risau gila dgn member2 aku kat egypt sana. alhamdulillah tadi berkat rm7 kredit aku dapat cakap dgn ain halil selama 3 minit lebih. (habis da kedit..-.-

ain, nadia, bie, natrah kat malaysian hall. diorang kata keadaan teruk kat sana. tidur malam2 dengar bunyi pistol. amal, halwa, nasuha kat rumah kl. ain tak tau keadaan diorang. nazer pulak mak dia yang aturkan flight tu.

setakat ni, diorang semua okey. jadi, aku lega sangat dengar suara ain dengan bie tadi. tapi ni kat kaherah (cairo). yang alex tak tau lagi. hasif pon tak update twitter dia, so boleh tahula dia still kat egypt, tak balik malaysia lagi.

so, insyaAllah doakan yang terbaik untuk sahabat2 kita. islam itu mengajar kita yang bukan sahaja malaysian itu saudara kita. in fact, arab muslim kat egypt pon saudara kita. kalau kita rasa risau dengan saudara palestin kita, jadi kita patut risau dengan saudara mesir kita.

sebab persaudaraan kita itu adalah based on ISLAM. based on AQIDAH. tali ikatan kita dengan Allah dan semakin kuat tali kita dengan Allah, semakin kuat sensitiviti kita terhadap MUSLIM.

Ya Allah, selamatkan saudara2ku di sana. berikan penghujung yang baik buat kami semua. berikanlah kemenangan kepada agamaMu, ya Allah.

(apa yang berlaku itu ada hikmah dan mesej yang ingin disampaikan oleh Allah)

barakalluhi fikum! ^_^

peaceful.

2011-01-04T14:08:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

breathe in* breathe out* relax...

sekarang, aku dah sampai kmb. duduk depan laptop, dengar bunyi kipas, taip3. aku rasa masa ni je la aku dapat duduk relax and chill kat bilik. jalau tak, alamatnya tidurla.

sebab sedar tak sedar, aku dah masuk sem akhir kat kmb nih. 5 months to go and after that, i dont know what's to become of the life? more challenging? i think yeah. tak kesahla, tapi aku tak tau kenapa aku macam tak ada semangat nak berdepan dengan sem baru nih. rasa macam nak lay-back je. tak nak stress dah macam sem 3.

just focus and do it and prioritize.

itu je kot. yes, effort must be put on extremely hard but i think i dont want to go so stressful like i cant control the situation like before. i think i just live on and after that, leave it all to Allah. insyaAllah everything will be okay.

i dont know why but i think i want to see my life as easy as count 1,2,3. i dont want that stress, pressure to press me on. i hope i could do that. i'm trying my best to control the situation.

in a more simple words, i dont want to stress myself. just work it on and leave it all to Allah. done!

dont worry, bella. 5 months to go. only 5 months.

okay, all. got to go. bye-bye.
may peace be upon you, readers!

^_^

datang.bertubi-tubi.

2010-12-15T09:24:00.001+08:00

assalamu'alaikum..

1,2 hari ni perasaan ni datang bertubi-tubi. macam syaitan kena jamrah la rasanya. (sangat hiperbola..) perasaan apa nih?? rindu jahiliyah datang menusuk lagi. (memang tak boleh blah ayat...)

lagi2, bila nampak used-to-be favorite korean drama masuk kat 8tv. nampak je muka2 used-to-be favorite character2 tu terus sentap ahh. serius, aku kata syaitan tu memang bersungguh-sungguh nak tarik kita ke neraka. ye, waktu tu aku monolog dengan diri aku; jk drama tu salah dan melalaikan tapi ada satu part dalam diri aku tu kata.."warghh..aku nak tengok!"

tapi, nasib baiklah drama tu dah habis tengok. so, takdelah kuat sangat rindu tu. but still, kalau ada drama tu season 2 (sebab waktu aku tengah gila dgn jk nih, diorang kata nak buat 2nd season) atau ada drama guna used-to-be most favorite hero tu, parah jugak nak kena tahan diri nih.

aku tahu aku kena bergantung kuat dengan Allah sebab Allah yang izin perasaan tu datang kembali. bella, kau kena banyak lagi baca, dengar, tadabbur, hayati, sharing. sebab itu je yang mampu buat untuk aku jadi strong. aku tau, semua orang ada jahiliyah dia sendiri, termasuklah aku. so, sendiri mau ingat la.

i'm still fight against it and pray that i'll not fall in it again!

ada satu lagi yang ganggu aku, tapi, aku buat derkk je kat benda nih. and aku nak orang tu tau syaitan guna benda yang kau bagi untuk aku selalu tak khusyuk dalam solat. so, boleh tak jangan buat lagi. aku tak marah cuma aku mintak elok2 kat ko, okay?!

to member2 smakl aku, aku rindu nak jumpa korang! dekat 2 tahun, aku asyik usha gambar korang keluar je. bilalah Allah nak izin aku jumpa korang??

to member2 sekolah rendah agama aku, aku suka tengok tweet korang. so, selalulah 'tweet'kan diri eh?!

to member2 kmb and my dear akhawat, aku nak jumpa korang.!! tak sabar nak balik kmb sebab nak jumpa korang (kalau tak sebab korang, aku tak nak jejak pon kmb tu, homework bertimbun2 lagi..hehe)

okay folks! got to go, bubbye!

these.words.

2010-12-13T10:03:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum..

alhamdulillah, Allah beri kelapangan pada aku kejap untuk post entri nih. sebenarnya, dari semalam lagi aku nak post tapi tak ada masa. semalam, satu hari penuh, aku pergi kenduri. mana taknya, dari pukul 8.30 siap2 pakai baju kurung pergi tempat kenduri tu. kat kampung aku, aktiviti merewang masih kuat lagi. jadi, awal2 tu aku kena ikut nenek aku pergi tolong orang kampung gotong-royong.

cukupla kot pasal kenduri.

kita teruskan ye.

sejak aku dok di kampung nih, tiap2 pagi, nenek aku akan bukak tv9 dengar "tanyalah ustaz". waktu breakfast kitorang dengar sama. aihh?? kenapa dengar? kenapa tak tengok?? haha. pelikkan? sebab tv kat tingkat bawah dah jadi macam radio. suara je keluar tapi gambar takde. power tak?? aku rasa nenek aku je yang ada tv macam tu kat perlis nih. tapi, jangan risau tv kat tingkat atas ada gambar..

tak kesahla pasal tv tu..

nak cakapnya, ustaz kat tv tu tiba2 bagi satu ayat nih. surah favourite chalym. at-taubah (9) ayat 24.

"Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): Jika bapa-bapa kamu dan anak-anak kamu dan saudara-saudara kamu dan isteri-isteri (atau suami-suami) kamu dan kaum keluarga kamu dan harta benda yang kamu usahakan dan perniagaan yang kamu bimbang akan merosot, dan rumah-rumah tempat tinggal yang kamu sukai,(jika semuanya itu) menjadi perkara-perkara yang kamu cintai lebih daripada Allah dan RasulNya dan (daripada) berjihad untuk agamaNya,MAKA TUNGGULAH sehingga Allah mendatangkan keputusanNya (azab seksaNya);kerana Allah tidak akan memberi petunjuk kepada orang-orang yang fasik (derhaka)."

ya Allahh!! memang menggigil sangat bila dengar ayat nih. bila aku tengok terjemahan kat dalam pinky tu, lagilah menggeletar badan nih.

sebab aku rasa, aku selalu bagi alasan yang menghalang berkaitan dengan perkara kat atas tu. tapi, Allah kata bilamana AYAH, MAK, ANAK, ADIK-BERADIK, ISTERI ATAU SUAMI, KELUARGA, HARTA, PERNIAGAAN, RUMAH yang kita cintai lebih daripada Allah, Rasul dan Islam, maka Allah tidak akan beri petunjuk.

pernah kan kita rasa serabut sangat kepala, hidup tunggang-langgang, kerja tak siap bertimbun-timbun, belajar pun tak masuk otak dan hati, jadi, kita pun ambil langkah mengadu dan meminta padaNya, bersungguh-sungguh merintih, berharap yang Allah akan beri petunjuk kepada masalah yang kita hadapi.

tapi, waktu tu, Allah tak nak izin kita dapat petunjuk. serius, keadaan itu sangat menakutkan aku! keadaan ALLAH-TAK-BERI-PETUNJUK adalah satu trauma untuk aku dan nauzubillah, aku tak nak benda itu berlaku.

lagi2, bila ALLAH kata "MAKA TUNGGULAH.."
nampak sangat Allah memberi amaran yang keras. menakutkan kerana Allah itu sangat keras azabnya.

fuuhhhhh..berat sangat ayat nih. nak share memang sesuatu yang membebankan. sebab Allah kata dalam surah Saff (61) ayat 3 yang Allah sangat murka dan benci dengan hambaNya yang cakap tak serupa bikin.

"(itu) sangatlah dibenci di sisi Allah jika kamu mengatakan apa-apa yang tidak kamu kerjakan"

jadi, readers, perbaharui niat kita. ingat dimana letaknya ALLAH, RASUL dan ISLAM dalam hati kita. di atas perkara yang dihighlightkan tadi atau di bawah perkara itu. semoga Allah memberi kita hidayah dan petunjuk. sebab hidayah dan petunjukNya adalah salah satu nikmat dan simbolik kasih sayang Allah pada kita.

dan kita sebagai hambaNya takkan dapat hidup tanpa kasih sayangNya!

sekian..doakan bersama. allahumma najihna fiddunya wal akhirah!

aminn

sunyi.sepi.

2010-12-10T18:51:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum..

alhamdulillah, aku masih bernafas lagi di samping orang2 yang tersayang...

4 hari aku kat perlis nih, banyak benda yang aku belajar. selain daripada masak memasak tu, aku belajar satu benda yang paling penting.

ALWAYS APPRECIATE YOUR LOVED ONES!!
especially your family.

dua hari pertama, ada tok, wan (of course la kan), mama, ayah, aku, dua2 adik aku. memang kecoh la kampung tu..dengan kitorang satu family, tiap2 malam main saidina (aku tau korang mesti dah tak main game ni). siap buat pakatan bersatu kalahkan ayah aku..hehe. aku pulak jadi banker terhormat..ngeh3

lepas tu, ayah, mama dan adik aku yang kecik tu balik kl. tinggallah aku, adik laki aku dan (of course) tok dgn wan. lepas diorang balik je kl, memang terus sunyi la. mana taknya, adik aku yang kecik suka sangat bising buat questionnaire kat semua orang. tambah pulak, yang tinggal aku dgn adik laki (dua2 dah besar). memang senyap sunyi la rumah nih.

so, aku rasa kalau kitorang balik kl nanti, mesti lagi sunyi rumah ni. aku sayu jugaklah tengok wan dengan tok aku duduk je kat ruang tamu tu layan blues. mesti diorang tiap2 hari tunggu je bilalah anak cucu diorang nak balik melawat diorang.

aku cubalah jugak borak dengan tok dgn wan aku tapi takdelah sampai gelak sakan disebabkan limitation of dialect. almaklumlah, aku memang out sikit kalau nak speaking utara nih..hehe.

ade satu masa tadi, wan tanya aku, "kak, sunyi ka??"

pastu, aku jawab la, "dok aih..dok sorang2 lagi sunyi"
*walaupun dalam hati mengaku memang sunyi jugaklah..*

tapi, nak cakapnya kat sini, harapnya jangan lupa kat orang2 yang sentiasa menyayangi kita. jangan kita dok sibuk sangat mengejar orang yang kita sayang tapi orang tu tak sayang pon kat kita. even worse, dia tak kenal pon kita. ingat kat family, especially siapa yang masih ada tok dengan wan tu, depa dok tunggu ja kita bila nak balik tengok depa.

hukum karma ye. nanti, bila kita dah tua, kita akan melalui jugak fasa hidup nih. dan apa yang kita buat kat tok wan kita, boleh jadi apa yang kita akan rasa bila kita dah tua nanti.

do remember Allah really love HIS servant that always like to be grateful!

jangan nanti jadi macam skrip sarip dol dalam filem seniman bujang lapok;

"JANGAN MENYESAL, CIK SALMAH! JGN MENYESALL.."

salam..

woohoo!

2010-12-09T14:42:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

mungkin title ni sgt exaggerate tapi itulah perasaannya bila dah sedar saya sudah lepas sem 3 IB!! erm..walaupun, EE and TOK essay tak siap lagi. but i'm glad, glad coz already arrived at this level.

seriously, compared to the first time i came to kmb, i was a different person. try look at my first post you will know who am I before this. veryyyy die hard fan of JK world.

but, now, eventhough rasa tu selalu jugak datang but i have to be strong to maintain myself to become an "INDIVIDU MUSLIM". currently, aku kat kampung in perlis indera kayangan. tenang sangat kat sini. lagi2, bila dah lepas segala ketegangan exam kat kmb tu.

but, apparently, aku belajar benda lain waktu nak exam sem 3. aku belajar untuk just berusaha kerana ALLAH and at the same time, not bother about the result. just work for ALLAH and let ALLAH decide the result or us coz ALLAH knows the best for us.

insyaAllah next saturday (malam) baru sampai kl. aku dengan adik laki akan stay here without our parents and little sister. it's just me, my bro and my grandparents!! my little sister will be going to USIM later for program permata insan.

okay, semalam aku baca satu buku nih dan aku belajar yang kita sebagai youth kena banyak bekerja. bak kata siapa entah, bekerjalah sehingga kita pasti kita mendapat rehat yang terbaik di syurga nanti!

insyaALLAH, we'll work for it! tarbiyah dzatiyah! empower your inner strength! your iman!

okie dokie, got to go! jaa~
^_^

i.believe.in.Him.

2010-11-29T15:26:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

uh-oh, dah lama gila tak post entry. rasa bersalah dgn blog sendiri. sorry ye. memang ada banyak benda kena buat selain menulis blog. ini serius, tak menipu punye!

hari ni baru first day musim exam sem 3 kat KMB. erm..dah sem 3. lepas tu, sem 4. lepas sem 4? habis IB!! tapi, kita tak tahu apa yang Allah rancangkan untuk kita. even sekarang ni pon, musim exam ni, aku tak tahu pon apa yang Allah rancangkan untuk aku. result aku macamana nanti?? aku pon tak tahu. takde siapa yang tahu. melainkan Allah yang Esa itu.

usrah semalam dengan kak fiza dan usrahmates sangat best!! terharu sangat..bila dapat pengisian tentang solat. paling sweet analogi nih;

okay, bayangkan, kita baru je masuk U. lepas tu, kita jumpa dekan and dekan tu kata,

'if you have any problem, come and see me. I provide 5 times a day just for you to see me. only for you!'

wahhh, rasa tak macam ambil beratnya dekan ni kan..sangat bagus.

macam tu lah jugak Allah pada kita, malah lebih dari tu.

Allah yang Maha Berkuasa, yang paling busy, (sebab busy kita takat mana je kan??) boleh luangkan 5 kali sehari hanya untuk kita berjumpa dengan Dia, mengadu padanya, memperhambakan diri padaNya, mengagungkan diriNya. sangat sweeettt!! baru aku sedar betapa bertuahnya diri ni bila dapat tahu sampai macam tu Allah sangat sayangkan hamba2Nya.

kita selalu lihat solat tu macam satu beban bila kita belajar solat itu wajib. kadang2 rasa solat just untuk lunaskan tanggungjawab je. tapi, sebenarnya, solat itu sendiri adalah KASIH SAYANG ALLAH pada kita. malangnya kita, bila kita tak sedar benda tu. dan malang sekali pada siapa yang tak melaksanakan solat. sangat2 rugi.!!

so, apa yang kita perlu buat, just buat apa saja yang Allah suruh kita buat sebab semuanya adalah yang TERBAIK buat kita. aku pon sekarang ni, untuk exam, tak nak fikir nak make sure dapat 7 every subject. yang penting bila kita sayang pada Allah, kita akan buat semua benda yang TERBAIK hanya kerana ALLAH.

i'll do the VERY BEST in everything just for YOU, O ALLAH!!

insyaAllah, aku yakin yang Allah akan berikan apa yang terbaik untuk aku.

**senyum lebar sangatttt** ^_______^

fearful.

2010-11-14T15:16:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

sekarang ni, tengah holiday 1 week for hari raya aidil adha. by the way, salam aidil adha!! insyaAllah semoga kita dapat keberkatannya. jgn lupa hari wukuf selasa ni, umat islam disunatkan berpuasa..:)

bila balik kat rumah, hati sangat gembira, tenang. tapi, takut jugak bila tenang tu nanti melarat menjadi semakin lalai dan alpa. serius, aku takut, bila aku tak mujahadah lagi. kuatkan semangat, bella! lawan segala nafsu2 tu.

nafsu tidur
nafsu makan
nafsu tv
and many more.

mengingatkan segala apa yang telah aku dengar dan aku katakan di kmb membuatkan aku takut bila aku fikirkan surah As-saff ayat 3.

Allah berfirman;

"Most hateful it is with Allah that you say that which you do not do."

61:3

Ya Allah,hati ini takut yang amat bila aku sedar aku tengah lalai. nampak sangat aku ni hamba yang sangat lemah. aku tak nak jadi seorang yang pandai cakap je tapi tak pandai buat. cakap tak serupa bikin. Allah sangat membenci hambaNya yang berbuat begitu.

kuatkan semangat. insyaAllah semoga segala usaha mujahadah melawan nafsu, Allah membalasnya di akhirat nanti. ingat lillahi taala~~

.hambaAllahitusatunikmatspecial.

buat.kawan2ku.yang.sedih.bersedih.

2010-11-05T13:01:00.003+08:00

assalamualaikum..

alhamdulillah Allah masih memberi peluang untuk aku bernafas di bumiNya.

kebelakangan ni, banyak kali sangat aku tengok status orang letak benda yang sedih2.. bila kawan aku pon letak macam tu. aku pun jadi sedih jugak.

aku nak bagitau walaupun kau rasa sedih, wahai member2ku, ingat Allah sentiasa ada. He'll always be there.

macam lagu maher zain, Always Be There;

"So when the time is hard

There’s no way to turn

As HE promise HE will always be there

To bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy

Coz, as HE promise HE will always be there

HE’s always watching us, guiding us

And HE knows what’s in all in our heart

So when you lose your way

To Allah you should turn

As HE promise HE will always be there…"

bak kata lirik lagu inteam, segenggam tabah;

"Telah tertulis suratan nasibmu

Derita buatmu ada hikmahnya

Terlukis senyum di bibir lesu

Tak siapa tahu hatimu"

bak kata lirik mestica, rahmat ujian

"Harus ada rasa bersyukur

Di setiap kali ujian menjelma

Itu jelasnya membuktikan

Allah mengasihimu setiap masa

Diuji tahap keimanan

Sedangkan ramai terbiar dilalaikan

Hanya yang terpilih sahaja

Antara berjuta mendapat rahmatNya

Allah rindu mendengarkan

Rintihanmu berpanjangan

Bersyukurlah dan tabahlah menghadapi"

ingat ye, Allah berada bersama dengan kita. hanya kasih sayang Allah adalah kasih sayang hakiki. kasih sayang yang tak pernah membuatkan kita bersedih.

Allah tengah tunggu bila hamba Dia yang sorang nih nak jumpa Dia merayu padaNYa, mintak semuanya kembali normal...

*peringatan ditujukan khas buat tuan kepada tangan yang menulis ni..
insyaAllah semoga semua mendapat pengajarannya.

CHEER UP, CAPTAIN..! ^_^
(ni sume gara2 pygmalion..-_-")

ps: i wish my blog will be like a music box. whenever, you view the lyrics, the song will play.

as-sharh : 6

2010-11-04T18:46:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum...

many things happen in these 3,2 days. yahh..i dont think i cant handle it all. but thanks to Allah, i managed to do it.

malay IOC : check!!
english ORAL : check!!
IELTS result : yeahh...check!!

and Alhamdulillah once again, i passed IELTS with band 7. it's not that great compared to everyone but alhamdulillah, i dont have to re-sit it and spend rm500++.

but one thing, i haven't done is my MATH PORTFOLIO. sorry, pn Khuzaimi, i was not feeling well. i just got back from clinic and doc said, i have denggi symptoms. *how do we spell 'denggi' in english??*

so, everyone, drink loadsss of water!! now, i heard many people got this symptoms. many people around me are not feeling well. you see, there are many factors that can make an IB student sick;

1st, you dont sleep because you want to finish your portfolio.
2nd, you dont eat much because you think you dont have time to exercise and you scared you're getting fat.
3rd, you have to attend IRP plus prepare for IOC and oral which makes you feel tense and so much more.

to conclude, once you're an IB student, you always think about IB thingy~~!!

well, i say yeah, i do have that reasons but one more important thing (to remember) rely between that is

"Verily with every difficulty there is relief." 94:6

to make sure that you dont feel stress?

that is why Allah told us to perform prayers, to tadabbur Al-Quran and to see the wonders of creation of Allah like sky, clouds etc.

it's like a GETAWAY.

seriously, you feel it deep inside your heart if you try to see these (including your problems) with your ISLAM eyes. to relate everything with Allah. and i can say, it's not easy to do that. but I WANT to.

that's most people cant do. FIKRAH is possible.

and i am trying to do it.

i.pray.the.best.for.you.

2010-11-02T12:51:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum...

tak nak cerita apa2 sebab sekarang tak ada benda yang best melainkan kerja yang bergunung-gunung saja.

(-_-)"

but, i just want you to know that even though we are far away apart but i still remember you.
dont worry, dear. i always pray the best for you!

insyaAllah, one day, we'll meet up and we can share lots of things and feeling.

from your friend, who are stucked here in banting.

^_^

thanks.leeya!!

2010-11-01T01:29:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

hari tu bukak twitter then jumpa tweet leeya suruh bukak blog dia. dia kata ada homework. *agak allergic jugak dgn words nih..hehe*

so, thank you for the award. masuk kali kedua dpt award yg sama. pada sesiapa yg nak award, amek je kat blog nih. then, let me know about it. :)

okay, 1st thing, i've to tell 7 things about myself :

FIRST;
i am a normal person

SECOND;
i am muslim and proud to tell that.!

THIRD;
i do love music

FOURTH;
i am a food-lover. sometimes, i feel sick that i cannot help it!

FIFTH;
i try to be a very highly spirited 'rijal' (like saidina umar said..*wink*)

SIXTH;
i love my "family" (it's very ambigous..so, it depends on readers' perception)

LASTLY;
i reallly looovvee everything that has something to do myself with my belief..!!

erm..tak nak lebih2! alright then, do pray for me.! as there are more oral coming soon..(oh no!)

gtg..jaa~

feels.great.to.be.His.servant.2

2010-10-23T14:12:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

alhamdulillah. now, i want to tell the world that i feel soooo great to be His servant!! can you hear me?! yes, that's what i want to say.

alhamdulillah ya rabbal 'alamin!!
everything's turned out well. no more worries.
frankly, throughout this week, i feel so blessed.

at first, this week was the one of the most challenging where there were many things happened that made me feel soo tense and sad. where Allah made it just for me to meet up with HIM. Allah made this to make sure that i can meet HIM everyday in a very meaningful meeting (or should i say 'dating'?) a very very very meaningful one!!!!!!!!!

(listening to alhamdulillah - maher zain really suit to the atmosphere)

thank you Allah.! because of the 'challenge' You gave, inside it, i found the key of life.

to depend on You.
to tell You everything i want to say.
to cry just for You.

and what You did to me is something that i cannot pay back at all. despite all the gift of life, You give me a 'calm soul' which i can say one of the BEST blessings. You also taught me about TAWAKKAL through my friends. and until now, i'll try to hold it on even though it's a tough thing to do.

alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah.

i feel so lucky to feel Your love. and at the same time, i feel so sad to see people who even didn't know the existence of Your love. and i pray to You, Ya Allah, let every single person on this earth to feel YOUR LOVE. so that, i can share this feeling with everyone!! amin. ^_^

please, ya Allah! istajib du'a ana...-_-

feels.great.to.be.His.servant.

2010-10-23T13:50:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

alhamdulillah, everything's going well. thank you sooo much, ya Allah!! today, i dont want to talk about IELTS. no more IELTS please. what i'm going to talk is wayyy more than just IELTS. wayyy more beautiful.

before that, yesterday, i browsed something about 'small world'. what do i mean with 'small world'? well, it's a world under a microscope! i know everyone thought it's a boring topic but to me, it's full of meaning. how can you let yourself lose the chance to see Allah's creation? to me, it's a miracle!!

Those who remember Allâh (always, and in prayers) standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and think deeply about the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying): "Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as partners). Give us salvation from the torment of the Fire.

3 : 191

let me share the pictures;

source : http://www.nikonsmallworld.com/

see? i cant wait to be a scientist!

n.e.r.v.o.u.s.

2010-10-22T00:11:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

now, i locked myself up in my room practicing my english for tomorrow speaking test (IELTS). ahhhh!! i am quite nervous now, and i think this feeling will go wayyy high tomorrow.

after that, i'm going to have listening, reading and writing test on saturday morning. i already talk to my family, asked for them to pray for me. i hope that everything will be going just fine.

i already had some tips. and i reallllyy hope that my english flows easily. i'm not a good speaker but i wish i have good marks for all bands. however, all these IB stuff didnt allow me much time to prepare but nevermind, i think Allah can help me on this problem. and as matter of fact, it's Allah who permits all the situations happened.

so, a lot of prayers, i guess. i need to be calm and relax or else, ....*nauzubillah*.

O Allah, make this test easy for me. only you could let this happens.! aminn..

okay, i think it's better to continue to practice. i'm writing this just to release some of the pressure. hahahaha *it's not a true laugh*

see you later. pray for me, friends. aja2 fighting, bella.!!

all the best to my biotech friends too..!

sabar vs marah

2010-10-16T01:16:00.002+08:00

assalamualaikum..

hari ni, aku sangat diuji tentang kesabaran. tak tahu kenapa, tapi, Allah sangat menguji tahap kesabaranku. hari ni je, 3 manusia telah menyebabkan aku marah. pagi tadi yang paling mencabar. lagi 2, biasa2 saja, boleh dimaafkan.

fyi, aku memang cepat marah. serius, tak tipu. yelah, nama pon kakak sulung. memang garanglah. tapi, aku takkan marah kat orang tu selagi orang tak cari pasal dengan aku. so, takde sebab untuk seseorang takut dengan aku. baik takut dengan Allah...!

aku rasa sekarang nilah masanya, aku kena train diri aku supaya jangan cepat marah and segala dugaan hari ni adalah satu latihan dari Allah. Aku ingin try sebaik mungkin untuk berubah hanya kerana Allah. i try my best to keep myself cool.

terus terang tadi memang membara sangat. haiisyyh..kalaulah orang yang membuatkan kemarahan tu bukan anak orang lain, dah lama dah kena.... tapi, aku tahan je. bak kata senior aku dulu, "tahan sabar pada hentakan pertama.."

nasib baiklah ada kawan2 yang membantu. classmatesku yang tolong menenteramkan jiwa aku nih. kalau tak dah lama m09e jadi 'tempat perang'. mula-mula, aku memang tak paham kenapa benda ni berlaku.? aku confuse apa sebenarnya yang Allah nak bagitahu nihh??

rupa-rupanya, soalan ni terjawab lepas maghrib tadi, waktu coolsem tadi. ada seorang sahabat bagi kitorang ayat ni. 13:28

Who have believed and whose hearts have rest in the remembrance of Allah. Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest!

hati kita akan menjadi tenteram hanya dengan mengingati Allah. ingat, walaupon kita try untuk lari dari masalah, masalah tu takkan selesaikan. so, apa solution yang paling terbaik..?

MENGINGATI ALLAH DAN MENGADU DENGANNYA!!

that's the sweetness of being a muslim. tahu, adanya tempat bergantung and tempat berharap 24-7. kalau kita mengadu kat manusia, memangla relieved tapi tak semua problem selesai sebab pertolongan manusia itu terbatas. kebanyakannya, hanya boleh meminjamkan telinga saja. tidak lebih dari itu.

tapi, kalau kita mintak dekat YANG PALING MAHA BERKUASA. mestilah problem itu akan selesai. sebab Allah boleh buat apa sahaja. Dia yang paling Agung. malah, problem itu sendiri datang daripadaNya. betul tak?

macam professor klon jugak, dia yang buat penyakit itu and dia sendiri tahu apa solutionnya, kan??

so, seek from Him. there will be no regret if we ask from Him. insyaAllah, we'll find our way. Allah itu hanya ingin menguji kita samada dengan ujian itu, kita KEMBALI padaNya atau lebih JAUH darinya???

titik.
salam.

test=love

2010-10-13T00:32:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum..

first and foremost, i want to say thank you Allah for giving me such a wonderful life. to know You and Your love is enough for me to keep me breathe here.

last weekend had thought me everything about who am i, what i am supposed to do, how big is the effort needed to build in order for me to be the true muslim.

and somehow, Allah keeps giving me challenges to me until now. yup, i know what are these for. to make me strong and become a true muslim. despite all the patience, Allah makes me realised that i need to work hard on my patience. honestly, i'm not that kind-hearted. i can easily to get mad to people.

and, the thing is, i feel so challenged and soo hard especially when you started to love all your friends, and somehow, they try to make myself mad. i dont blame them because it's not their fault. it's me who are not patient with them. frankly, they didn't do anything but i'm the one who feel like that. i guess Allah really really wants to test my patience.

and now, i feel so sad cause i cant hold it. i tell this here. i cant hold it anymore. i cant hold in front of them but not here, in my blog. it's my healer. blog always made me reflect myself as a servant, a muslim.

i hope that later i can get through this! until now, 12.20 midnight, i haven't do anything. just ielts practice. but, what made me become like this, is my feeling.

i'm certain that Allah wanted to test me but O Allah, it's feel so painful. to made all this tsunami in my heart settle down is very very verry hard. as i always to my friends, Allah give us test because He wants to improve us. that circumstances made us stuck n life and when we can get over with it. then, we'll become immune and automatically, healed by that 'disease'.

Verily those who say "Our Lord is Allah" and remain firm (on that Path)― on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. 46:13

as a muslimah, i have to be strong. as long as i believe in Allah, i know and i'm sure that Allah will help me. come on, bella!!! you can do it! aja2 fighting...!

this.is.what.we.need.

2010-10-07T01:09:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

perghh.mata memang mengantuk sekarang nih. tapi tak tau sebab apa, nak jugak share something dengan readers. now, pukul 1 pagi and aku baru je habis menggosok baju untuk ke kelas esok. *wahhh skemanya ayat!* sambil2 tu, dengar la lagu mp3. sami yusuf hasbi rabbi. muziknya memang total arab. rasa nak menari pon ade tapi mana boleh lagu ni pasal Allah.

then, lirik yang paling melekat terlekat kat dalam otak aku nih which is sampai sekarang aku ponder.

"ma fi qalbi ghayrullah"

meaning??
takde apa dalam hati aku kecuali Allah.

wuissyy..susah kan nak buat apa yang lirik ni cakap. lagi2, penyanyinya mesti kena buat. kalau tak, ingat lagi surah saff ayat 3-4. Allah benci mereka yang cakap tak serupa bikin.

seriously, lirik ini memang memberi kesan yang mendalam. buat aku reflect sejauh mana keadaan hati aku sebenarnya. betul2 ke takde bende lain kecuali Allah?? erm..tanyala diri sendiri.

tapi, kalau kita rasa macam apa yang lirik ni bagitau setiap masa. for sure, hati tak pernah kering. kerana dengan mengingati Allah, insyaAllah semua benda akan selesai dengan satu persatu.

bella, please make it happen!! you have to, dear! beruntunglah sesiapa yang telah merasakan betapa nikmatnya cinta Alah terhadap kita. i wish i can be like that forever. takpe bella, slow2 ye. insyaAllah boleh..!!

okaylah, mata dah layu nih. tunggu masa je nih nak tidur. sampai situ je kot, ja

second.place.

2010-10-03T01:01:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

Alhamdulillah, Allah bagi kemenangan yang terbaik buat kami. walaupon kami tak dapat gelaran juara tapi nombor 2 pon dah kira yang terbaik. mana taknya, last year, kami tak dapat masuk semi final pon. alhamdulillah tahun ni dapat masuk final.

out of 6 matches, 5 we won, but the last one, we lose with 19-16. 3 points different. but, it's okay. as we believe in each other, we still the greatest team ever!!!

thank you so much to our coach especially, which is coach azmi. aku rasa dialah kunci kejayaan kami. players tahun lepas dengan tahun ni banyak yang sama tapi sebab tunjuk ajar coach kami dapat jadi jauh lebih baik dari dulu.

not to forget, friends, teachers and thank you very muchhh to the supporters! serius rasa malu gileerr panggil supporters suruh sokong tapi kalah. soorryy yee!!
kami pon tak sangka boleh kalah waktu final.

syukur sangat Allah beri kami kemenangan di akhir tournament. sepanjang hari, boleh dikatakan match2 semua sangat mencabar. bayangkan, 1st game hari ni, 20 minit main dalam hujan. 2nd game, 30 minit and last game [final] main 40 minit bawah terik cahaya matahari. tak kira lagi injury. hehe.

biasalah tu. tapi, aku rasa waktu peperangan umat islam dulu, mereka mestilah jauh lebih teruk dari ini. bila fikir balik, tabik spring dekat pejuang2 islam dulu. nampak sangat kebergantungan mereka terhadap Allah sangat tinggi.

harapkan aku nih, nak ingat Allah sewaktu main netball pon.. selalu jugakla lupa. haihhh..teruknya. takpe, kita try slow2.

okay, semua orang penat. blok aku senyap je sekarang nih. semuanya tidur keletihan. and aku baru je habis tengok "ketika cinta bertasbih 1 & 2". ni semua gara2 jannah buat promo kat aku waktu dinner tadi. hehe.

part paling best waktu Ana tanya nama Azam tapi Azam jawab "Abdullah" and terus blah naik teksi. (nampaknya samalah fav scene kita jannah..hik3) serius, teringat cerita sahabat nabi, Uwais Al-Qarni yang tak suka namanya disebut. lalu, bila sahabat bertanya namanya, dia menjawab "Abdullah". best cerita dia dengan ibunya and cerita dia nak sangat berjumpa dengan rasulullah. korang cari eh ataupon tanya member.

okay, permisi dulu ya. salam.
^_^

감사합니다 Allah!

2010-10-02T03:10:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum..

alhamdulillah segala yang berlaku semuanya sudah menjadi clear. walaupon masalah tu tak selesai lagi, tapi bila aku dah dapat tahu masalah yang sebenarnya, hati ni takde la rasa susah nak fokus. terima kasih ya Allah.

petang tadi, ade 3 match netball. alhamdulillah berkat practice yang banyak tu, berkat tunjuk ajar coach and support dari kawan2, semuanya belajar lancar. alhamdulillah Allah beri kemenangan kepada kami untuk ketiga2 match tadi. lenguh kaki ni pon baru okay sikit. esok ade lagi match.

aku suka sangat dengan team netball aku. walaupun kami berlatih dengan tekun tapi bila hari nak lawan ni, kami baca almathurat sebelum pergi main tadi. minutes before nak lawan pon, kami sama2 baca doa.

yup, itulah sifat semulajadi seorang muslim.
bila mana kita dah berusaha bersungguh-sungguh, kita letakkan segala-galanya kepada Allah. biar Allah yang menentukan yang sebaik-baik untuk kita. sebab Allah tahu apa yang paling baik untuk kita!!

memanglah kemenangan bermain netball bukanlah kemenangan yang sebenar, tetapi, jika dilihat kembali, netball itu pon simbolik kepada kehidupan kita. semua orang bersusah payah membaling bola, membawa bola ke tempat gol untuk capai matlamat diorang.

same thing happens to us. kita semua sedang berusaha bersungguh-sungguh dalam hidup ini untuk mencapai matlamat kita which is mencari keredhaan Allah. dengan apa yang diberi kita sebagai panduan atau "bola" iaitu Al-quran dan As-sunnah sebagai pegangan.

ye..hakikatnya kita akan dapat rasa hidup kita sekejap bila kita ponder balik berapa lama kita dah bernafas. berapa dekatnya maut dengan kita setiap masa. bila kita terima hakikat itu, baru kita sedar hidup ini hanya sementara.

berapa lama masa kita nak pikir pasal benda yang tak membawa kita ke matlamat sebenar kita. kerana Allah yang sangat menyayangi kita, sedang menunggu kita.

pernah dulu, aku dengar cerita dari sahabatku sewaktu perbincangan preparation for usrah jumaat. aku bagitau dalam bentuk pemahaman aku dan words aku sendiri.

cerita tentang nabi Ibrahim dan malaikat jibril. satu hari tu, nabi Ibrahim pernah bertanya dekat malaikat Jibril, "macamana kekasih itu (Allah) sanggup mencabut nyawa kekasihnya??" malaikat Jibril pon pergilah bertanya pada Allah dan dia pun pergi menjawab kembali pertanyaan nabi Ibrahim dengan jawapan yang diberikan oleh Allah. Allah menjawab, "Kekasih mana yang sanggup menunggu lama untuk berjumpa dengan kekasihnya".

awwhh..cerita ni sweet sangat. sampai sekarang aku suka cerita nih. sebab tu lah nak share dgn readers semua..hehe.

okaylah, esok ada match. insyaAllah, semoga apa yang kita dapat today memberi pengajaran pada kita. jaa~

**either.life.or.dream**

silver.lining.

heartsick.

read.if.you.can.relate.to.

we.are.beautiful.

update.or.in.malay.we.say.hapdet.

midnight.plea.

just.me.and.you.

The.sweetest.words.of.the.day.

The.Strength.of.The.Memories

dream.on.

embarassed.

it.happens.in.a.blink.of.eye.

it's.quite.hard.i.must.say.

the.traveller's.dream.

these.coming.days.

if.only.you.understand.

i.really.need.to.post.this.

to.not.take.it.away.

monologue-ing.myself.

these.words.can.never.get.old.

The.Great.Coolies.

H.E.L.P

In.The.Middle.of.Know-Where.

what.does.it.takes.to.be.mature?

very.short.story.about.miss.B

1st.timer.

the.short.one.

talk.about.anger.

He.who.holds.the.hearts.

A.Letter.To.My.Master.

o.u.c.h & r.a.n.d.o.m

trying.to.be.calm.

i'm.such.a.weak.person!

pathetic.

between.the.line.

drowning.in.guilt.

how.blessed.we.are!

t.u.m.b.l.r

.f.a.i.t.h.

like.a.morning.breeze.

.slapping.myself.

.solitary.morning.

.the.last.sprint.

new.baby.

jangan.datang.

now.i.know.

takde.title.

nothing.less.nothing.more.

it's.never.too.late.

how.sweet.

.purify.

.that.is.deeep.man.

O Allah!!

.what.a.gift.

.just.an.idea.

.words.of.wisdom.

.a.mirror.reflection.

.a.pit.stop.

how.can.i.describe.it?

.i.say.what?

have.a.break.for.a.while.

for.what.reason.

all.praises.to.ALLAH.

let.me.tell.you.a.story.

soothing.the.soul.

wargghh!!!

i.just.realized.

hiyaakkk!!

a.very.different.side.of...

those.petty.thingy.

this.feeling.

history.

peaceful.

datang.bertubi-tubi.

these.words.

sunyi.sepi.

woohoo!

i.believe.in.Him.

fearful.

either.life.or.dream